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The Dank Dark of Midnight

Missing image

In the damp dark of midnight, ‘neath a moon that gleamed blood red,

A horse with strangely glowing eyes strode through with measured tread.

The rider that he carried, with a sword tucked in his belt

Had ne’er been seen within this wood, and none knew where he dwelt.

The blood that dripped from sharpened sword smeared ‘cross the horse’s flank,

The mixture of the sweat and gore was putrid, and it stank.

The blackened teeth that filled a mouth that formed a grusome grin,

Were shrouded by a ghastly nose, grotesquely aquiline..

Close at hand in a cabin, o’ercast by a demon’s spell

Dwelt a fair angelic maiden who never could dispel

Her fear of shadow’s danger, of lurking, creeping things,

And of the morbid darkness, with the horrors that it brings.

She hears the distant hoof beats, her heart shrinks up in fear,

For at the hour of midnight there should be no horses near.

An eerie wolf-like howl is heard, then gurgles to a stop,

Cut off by a wooshing sound and sword’s resounding chop.

Her trembling fingers twist the lock, a hideous laugh rings out.

She screams and races up the steps, to find her last redoubt.

A deaf’ning crash of splint’ring wood, then footsteps on the stairs,

She listens caref’ly at the door and hears, "I know you’re there."

Her blood runs cold, her breathing stops, she hears a scraping sound,

The raspy voice calls out again, "Now lookee what I’ve found.

A pretty maiden dressed in white, as pure as pure can be,

All alone here in the woods . . . there’s only you and me."

One more crash, the door is gone, a final chilling shriek,

It echoes through the midnight woods, the last she’d ever speak.

A cackling laugh, the claw-like hands draw back the gleaming blade,

It flashes through the torpid air as ‘cross her throat it’s laid.

She crumples to the plain wood floor, her lifeblood pooling there,

And hov’ring o’er the fallen lass he’d taken unaware,

He quickly drops to bony knees amidst the spreading gore,

Then sated by his gruesome feast he slips back out the door.

He climbs up on the scrawny horse and slaps it ‘cross the flank,

Then disappears into the wood through air that’s wet and dank.

The sound of hoof beats fades away, the evil out of sight,

And tainted darkness drops again and swallows up the night.

The jackals prowl the woods tonight, searching for a meal.

They venture to the cabin door to see what they can steal.

Creeping ‘cross the cluttered floor, they’re drawn by fresh blood-smell.

They feast on human carrion, like creatures drawn from hell.

Author notes

This is different.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21
  • deanna34
    June 28
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    (: i love it.


  • Lilith-blackwing
    January 24, 2007

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    this is awesome

    I like this poem. It tells a chilling tale of a women all alone. I wander,is the rider death? I'm glad you won.


  • Moons Lunar Angel
    January 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OH MY GOODNESS! This is absolutely fabulous! It had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, I couldn't take my eyes off it! Such a brilliant poem/story. Deserves all the gold it gets
    Lil


  • Dee Marie
    January 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    like it

    good poem....showes a dark side


  • rollingzen
    January 3, 2007
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    reminds me of one of my favorite poems read in High School "The Highwayman"......the moon was a ghostly gallion tossed upon cloudy seas,the road a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moors,and the Highwayman came riding,riding,up to the old inn door".......


  • Christina Prince
    January 3, 2007

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    Wow...just wow...

    I'm a story poet myself and I know a great story poem when I read one! This one took my breath away, awsome job!


  • Andi. gold member
    January 3, 2007
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    whoa...

    this gave me chills

    but it was awesome, AND DIFFERENT!

    well done Kirbs

    love miss coop


  • ShaShay
    January 3, 2007

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    Excellente!

    I love stories in poem form and you have captured that with amazing ease it seems. Yes, it's different but beautifully done. Pen on...you have a great talent.


  • Whitefaeryofdeath
    January 3, 2007
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    Wow

    This is a wonderful write!


  • dying-gothic-roses
    January 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is long but really good its bnot like most poems i read...there's something different but i cant peice together quite what iot was...and i love the picture...it's soo captivating itself...i just love all of it lol

    xX*Cheyenne*Xx**


  • Elfin
    January 3, 2007

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    HOooooooooooooooo

    Will I turn out the light tonight or will I leave it on? This is really creepy thanks to the imagery I could watch the horror playing out before my eyes. The flow was so smooth I forgot I was reading a poem, all I can say is , who needs Poe and KIng while we've got kirbysman. Well done and good luck in the contest. Val. And you want applause for scareing me to death? lol


  • Kari gold member
    January 2, 2007

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    WOW Grandpapa...you wrote a dark piece and it was incredible!!! The best of luck to you in the contest!


  • Shadow Lynx
    January 2, 2007
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    If you go down in the woods today....

    The woods ,a dark and dangerous place indeed ! Gripping tale which captured my imagination.It flows at a livley pace as it takes you through the macabre story ,heh i was waiting for the knight in shining armour to turn up but he never showed lol Poor maiden .Good luck in the contest !!


  • Angel With No Halo
    January 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Too Creepy!!

    Well... not tooo creepy.. but omg.. that is a strange little tale.Very good read.. I was trapped on the page like a hungry "jackal" who could not get enough..LOL.. Thanks for sharing!!
    ~Krys~


  • gasolinequeen
    January 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very very well done. A lot of times I have a hard time keeping my attention on the poem I'm reading because I easily lose interest, but this piece held my attention throughout the whole thing. It seems like it could be metallica or cradle of filth lyrics-- I really enjoyed reading this. You are extremely talented.


  • Lady in Love
    January 2, 2007
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    This was an awesome write. Good luck in the contest, hopefull this one will place in the top three. Well deserving of another read. I especially liked the last line they feast on humman carrion, like creatures drawn from hell. DN


  • masterblaster gold member
    January 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, a lovely narrative poem, this was a pleasure to read, you just caught me before I closed down for the night, great my friend I enjoyed this a lot, all the best in the comp, and a very happy new year filled with joy, Di


  • queenie
    January 2, 2007

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    one thing for sure ,if there is an entry that tops this,they have indeed worked hard for that one.this is brillant and i wish i could even began to think to write this well.this held me captive and it intrigued me,then left me wanting more.you are a genius on so many levels.you always do great work and this doesn't change that trend at all.another year of reading your great work does make for a happy new year .


  • DK akaLunaticSerene gold member
    January 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WELCOME TO THE WOODS! AND THANKS FOR YOUR ENTRY!
    GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT IN COMMENTS HERE IF YOU LIKE, AND PLEASE COMMENT ON OTHER ENTRIES, IT'S NOT A RULE, BUT IS APPRECIATED. WHEN I'VE SELECTED THE TOP 10 ENTRIES, I SHALL BE TAKING THEM ON A JOURNEY...

    INTO THE WOODS.

    I'LL BE BACK TO GIVE COMMENTS, NEARER THE END.
    GOOD LUCK!
    XXOO
    DK


  • Claireabelle-
    January 1, 2007
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    dang i forgot.

    ps.

  • Claireabelle-
    January 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    indeed, different.

    ...But really good.

    "Came a horse with glowing eyes who had returned from the dead."

    That line seemed forced to me, like it didn't fit with the one before. Syllables seem off. Maybe just how I read it. As well as:"Dwelt a maiden fair as an angel who never could dispel"

    This poem is really different from what you usually write. A lot more dark. But you pulled it off well. You should keep writing "darker" things..they turn out well. (i sound old when i word it like that)

    &(not to complain) but i didnt think the ending was needed. you could've left it at "The jackals prowl the woods tonight, searching for a meal.
    They venture to the cabin door to see what they can steal.
    Creeping ‘cross the cluttered floor, they’re drawn by fresh blood-smell.
    They feast on human carrion, like creatures drawn from hell."...and been done.

    :]

    is that better?
    hah.

1 - 21 of 21