Together we would indulge in our self righteous sin
An accumulation of dying embers that will once again be alight
Started all by your promise to be there for me tonight
I'd let the moisture in my eyes flow freely if you proved your word true
Together we would accomadate our every need due
Shattered remains of our hearts would piece together
With your assurance that you will stay with me forever
I'd weep until there was nothing left if you were truly there
Together we would allow our emotions to effortlessly flare
A hope bringing warmth into my cold world I admit
All brought upon by your assurance that you are ready to commit
I'd give every last tear I could possibly cry
If just for once there would be no need for a goodbye
If I knew that you would be with me for all of eternity and more
To not have to worry about when you will be there for me anymore
A contest entry
- My AP FAVORITES by Aeonna.
400 points, ended January 22, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - rite me a poem for the one u luv by a means to an end.
385 points, ended February 15, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this is such a sad poem. i loved how you repeated your self. your intentionis clear and plain as day. you sound so dedicated. great write
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There is a lot of emotional descriptive expression within these lines. A desperation of reaching out for the love youhold in your hear' desires and the safety of having that love with you looking out for you. This is one pot i think we all not only relate to but aspire to have within our own life. Your words flow from the page sadly yet i feel a passion and hope for love. Beautifully penned
Thank you for the pleasure of the read.

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Yes I agree with Cannons fire, a heartfelt and abit of a tearjerking piece, asking so longinly this questions of your love. sad in a way but i like the piece very much, well done
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Oh those "I'ds"
This is so close to reality for so many people. I think most readers will appreciate the feelings conveyed in a very personal way. Truly very well done.
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Wow
I'm going through the same thing right now. But I don't need to cry. Your poem, which is my dream, has come true. I'm really glad you wrote this, because I could never put it into words. I'm so glad you did it for me. Thanks for writing what I've been trying to write so I can finally read it! It's a very nice poem, and it's rather beautiful. Keep writing your thoughts, your feelings, etc. Because I and everyone else wants to read them!

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Thank You for reading my poem and enjoying it. I do try to always write about my feelings, because to me it is easier. Alot of people don't like emotional poems.. but that is what I write. And those who do enjoy them seem to enjoy mine very much. Thank you again for the comment and I hope that things get better for both of us.
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WOW! Very well done! I love it! This is one of the best poems that I have ever laid my eyes on! You have a gift! Dont let it die! Keep Writing! I want to see more poetry from you. Such intense emotion screams out "LOVE ME!" It's remarkable!


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Thank You so much for commenting. I am so glad that you liked the poem and I will continue to write.. feel free to read all of my work. Thanks again!
~Snowfall
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I absolutely fell in love with this poem. Seriously. I am debating whether to print it out and frame it. Excellent writing... I love it! Normally I don't like rhyming because typically, it never flows right in my mind, but here, it totally worked. I felt as though you had written this straight from my dreams, because I felt just like this about a year ago... it's amazing how much time can change things, but I promise, if this poem is based on something happening right now, be grateful that you were inspired to write such an amazing piece, and know that everything will get better eventually....
Congratulations on a truly wonderful write.


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Thank You for your wonderful comment, I am glad that you liked it so much... haha if you want to print it out, go ahead I don't mind at all. Thanks for adding me as a favorite as well

~Snowfall
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Heart touching
This is a beautiful piece of poetry. I wish I was getting it from the one I love and I'd run to him as fast as I could go. May you find peace and the love you seek.
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Wonderful
Seemless lines with smooth transition. I love the emotion portayed in your work. It shows me depth and the ability to understand how to convey your feeelings. I loved it
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good
well writen can feel so much pain in this peice -
This made me shed a tear for the heartrending ask you have in your heart. The only line that worried me was the last, it didn't make sense, if you re read you'll see. Other than that I just sighed for the emotions that sprung to mind while reading.
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Thank You for your lovely comment, I fixed the last line so that it would make more sense. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
~Snowfall
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