(Chorus)
Oh, Daddy, can you hear me?
You were taken long ago.
Times I feel you standing near me
Could it be you've seen me grow?
(Verse 1)
Christmas was a happy day.
Gifts were open by the tree.,
Hugs exchanged, good-byes given
Hurry back to life and dreams.
Then the phone call unexpected,
Voice of neighbor's tears explained.
You were lost in sudden impact
Making us the life we'd gained.
(Chorus)
Oh, Daddy, can you hear me?
You were taken long ago.
Times I feel you standing near me.
Could it be you've seen me grow?
(Verse 2)
Many things still to tell you,
Found a guy so much like you.
He's the angel of my heaven
Till I share a view with you.
Would that I could see you once more
Just to be your little girl.
Mother misses you still madly
Sorrow gets her in a whirl.
(Chorus)
Oh, Daddy, can you hear me?
You were taken long ago.
Times I feel you standing near me.
Could it be you've seen me grow?
(Bridge)
Sometimes I dream a conversation,
You sitting on my couch in jeans.
Hard hat, lunch box, simply talking
Of the day or future schemes.
(Chorus)
Oh, Daddy, can you hear me?
You were taken long ago.
Times I feel you standing near me.
Could it be you've seen me grow?
(Verse 3)
The little boy you left has grown up,
A fine young man much like his Dad.
We still keep the star that won't work
Because it blinks when we get sad.
Someday we will share some coffee,
Maybe drive a nail or two.
Jesus keep us all close to Him
So someday we'll be with you.
(Chorus)
Oh, Daddy, can you hear me?
You were taken long ago.
Times I feel you standing near me.
Could it be you've seen me grow?
In a list
A contest entry
- All Poetry Adult Idol: Round Five by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended January 4, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Adult Idol (Round Seven: Final Challenge A ) by Tangled Angle.
333 points, ended January 21, 2007, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loss of a relative by Consolecharlie.
600 points, ended June 6, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give Me All Your Gold~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended July 26, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best of the Best by broken-colours.
500 points, ended August 6, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I want to startoff by saying that i am very sorry for your loss, and i think he would be proud at this wonderful piece written about him. i dont know if i am correct or not but is this a song? [i ask this because of the chorus]
anywho though kudos to you on amazing write and keep on writing! -
Very good
Loss of a dear one is always painful, but the ability to express that sense of loss is not given to all. You have expreesed yourself very admirably and in a very moving manner.
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This is a truly sad and beautiful write. It made me shed tears for your loss. Losing someone so dear to you is a really painful process. My condolences even though it was 20 years ago. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Keep up the great work. -
Wow... this is a deep, touching, and ultimately, a wonderfully scribed song. I am blessed to have a family that lives together in a day and age when people have to ask "do you live with your mother or your father?"
and the miracle with the christmas tree... I am not surpirsed. the ones that we love are with us, forever and forever, even if we don't want them ,and they don't want us.... but this is just... wow, amazing... something that I can't capture in words. -
this is so beautiful and sad. it definantly makes a heart ache! its no suprise you still miss him.. i mean wow.. if my dad was dead, id cry everyday. that part about the star, that was amazing. i think its really cool that it blinks when your talking about him. i think this whole write is really special and amazing. much love! ~EE
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i lost my grandfather recently and your writing touched me...beautifully done...i am sorry for your loss, i know in 20 years i will still miss him as much as you miss your father..and yes, i believe your daddy can still hear you....
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Oh, Daddy, can you hear me?
You were taken long ago.
Times I feel you standing near me.
Could it be you've seen me grow?
Indeed it is a heartfelt poem touching the depth of the life and revealing the meaning of the love as well...I am very sorry for the lose my friend...I can see your heart here withh its pain and its dedication for the heart of your losing father as well.. Your words here touching the depth of the muse bringing a kind of divine interpretations of the conventional subject so I loved its depth and the intensity of the thoughts which are just wonderful with its vision and its definate impact ..well
done my friend..a great poem is here..
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Amazing write I can't believe what it must feel like to lose someone that close my favorite line is...
The little boy you left has grown up,
A fine young man much like his Dad.
We still keep the star that won't work
Because it blinks when we get sad.
Because I truly believe that it is him saying hi and saying that hes there, Amazing song... I'd download the song if I could... I'm sure it would be great. keep writing I think you've got something great... Keep it up!
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That's wierd with the light blinking but life does like to confuse us sometimes. Great song/poem and good luck in the contest.
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what a sad, heart-felt poem. one can only imagine the pain and loss. you portray the happiness and the sadness both with ease, letting us know how you've felt all these years. it's amazing to me how people turn loss into hope. But we can do it again and again.
Favorite lines:
"Many things still to tell you,
Found a guy so much like you.
He's the angel of my heaven
Till I share a view with you."
-That is the sweetest thing I have ever seen.
Cheers!
Oh, P.S. First verse/second line... 'open' should be "opened" maybe? just letting you know.
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Sorry about your loss...
I love the lyrics, they're very passionate.
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wow im so sorry 4 ur loss i really like this poem its a poem from the heart and i think poems from the heart are the best ones because they are true. and they mean more. and when i read i feel sad but im smiling because hes always with you. thanks for what you said in mine av u heard that son by the fray- how to save a life... its a bit like your poem xxx very touching xx
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passionate write. Excellent choice to enter this one.
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What a sorrow it is too lost those we love. You did a great job writing it out with these lyrics. I am glad to have stumbled upon your work...Trina
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I have two daughters who grew up and graduated from college. I am so fortunate to have seen my daughters grown into contributing and caring adults. I am pleased that you still communicate with your father through your poems. This indicates that he is still influencing you, and that is a tribute he would be proud of. Your poem is well presented and it leaves a positve and thoughtful impression. Congratulations.
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Oh my.. that was so touching. I loved it. This is a amazing peice, i can really feel how much you miss him. I know how loosing a father feels. This is great. ^_^
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These words are very touching...I know and feel the same loss...but with my mother...I know the void it leaves behind...I too talk outloud and write many poems ...communicating within my soul...lovely words...beautiful song it will be..thanks for sharing
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Heartstring tugger
This was simply wonderful, so pure and intrinsically appealing to the child in all. A commonality to which all can relate, the love of daddy, that makes his loss especially poignant. Well done, and congrats!
xxoo
dk
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I could feel this- the passion was breathing from the lyrics. Very sad. Wow Wynette- you sure put up a fight with this one. I just got reading Muddy's and I liked it a lot- but whoa- you two sure put a lot of soul into these. That's what lyrics are. You've taken this challenge, and faced it, and used your soul as your guide. I love that.
I liked the beginning, how you started out with the chorus- it interested me. But even if it wasn't the chorus and you had "Daddy, can you hear me?" that is a very catchy beginning, and I wanted to read the rest.
This was consistent, and fluent. This was great. You aren't making this any easier to judge that's for sure.
The ending though- ehhhhhh I'm not sure if it left as good of an impact as you probably thought it would- as for me- it left a great impact, but just like Mud's I felt like it could have been stronger because of the powerful meaning of the song.
You did wonderful.
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This was quite well done. I am impressed with this one because I tried to do a song for this contest and just couldn't make it work. This looks so smooth and clean--you've got rhyme and rhythm and feeling behind these words. Well done!
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Extraordinarily touching piece. I almost saw this more as a song due to it's highly lyrical quality. Whenever I read Daddy in a poem I think of Sylvia Plath but this is nowhere near as angry. Anthony.
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Thanks Tony :)
Some of us were fortunate enough to have a wonderful father figure in our lives. I lost him a very long time ago, but I count my blessings as a result of having him as long as I did. He was always my reminder that there are some good guys out there, ya know? Glad you stopped by, I hope to get by to check out your new stuff now that the holidays are winding down and the madness is over
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Auntie this is so so so so so so so sooooooo sad
You did a wonderful job but it's so sad The best of luck to you in the contest Auntie 
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Thanks, Kari, hard to remember someone we really care about without being a little sad, but it is wonderful to have known people we truly have a reason to miss.
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