The projector strobes out old tattered stag films
with audio from "All My Children"
mostly drowned out by choruses of "Don't Worry Be Happy"
sung with great zeal, in double-time
by the audience
The usher watches with amazement
the cockeyed brunette with seven hands in her blouse
and five in her pants
one eye watches him watching her
as the other spies the projection screen
She perfectly mimics the facial expressions seen on screen
taps her toe in syncopated rhythm to the song
recites the soap opera lines with precision melodrama
rocks her body in an erotic Morse code
spelling out excerpts from, "The Waking"
while platonic-ally winking at the usher
He flashes his light over and over
in an attempt to draw her attention to the
silent ballet of Angels taking place in her popcorn box
then throws his hands up in frustration that she is so preoccupied
because he has worked the matinee for years
and knows only the ballet
has a happy ending
Author notes
Sometimes it is hard to get someone's attention...
In a list
A contest entry
- Looking for quality poetry and short stories to publish: by Danna Hobart.
525 points, ended February 12, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Wonder... by red.
700 points, ended April 1, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
I think the imagery (which is very unique and interesting) is the thing that most sticks out in this piece.
I liked the connection with everything. Not only did you tell a consistent story that incorporated the title well, you kept the wording and visuals within range of what one might expect to see at a matinee. It's very creative and unique; a nice change from the usual.
The metaphor was strong, definitely not what I was expecting; excellent though.
I like the theme and topic. It's understandable and a simple topic, but the poem gives it a depth.
This reads like a short story; you gave the piece sufficient line breaks that made it very easy to read.
Wonderful job, thank you for entering.
-
Hmmm, this is like no matinee I have ever been to.
Your images are crisp and fresh. It is an all together original piece. It leaves me wondering...
-
Oh my… You are an artist; I knew it. This is nice. Your reverences are a bit old I had to look them up. Before my time. But this is a fun piece.
“silent ballet of Angels taking place in her popcorn box”
A visual
Thanks Amera
-
-
Oh, and I almost missed the old joke the first time! Good show!
-
I disagree... I have no reverences... I'm completely irreverent!
-
-
Now THAT was fuckin' brilliant.
Very well written!
-
-
Every once in a while, I get lucky. Thanks.
-
-
I really like this. I mean... wow, you're wording is so wonderful. I really like,
"He flashes his light over and over
in an attempt to draw her attention to the
silent ballet of Angels taking place in her popcorn box"
That just seemed to flow and was so intriguing. Really, you have a way with words and a way of capturing the reader. Very nice write!
yellowsub
-
The little light touches that you apply to this piece are what makes it original and unique. It is so refreshing to see actually. The personal allusions to soapies and songs allow it to have a mark which shows that you are so close to this piece. Love to hear more from you. Anthony.
-
Very interesting. Well the poem got my attention and I am sure it will get others attention. It is one of the most unique poems I have read here.
-
Very creative - quite an unusual write - never thought of matinees in this way before, even though I attended many in my youth. Remember sitting at the back too, and then watching others who did later on. Liked the flow and all the details you add to this poem to make it so good.
-
-
Thank you for your comments. You are an icon here and I am honored.
-
-
I came by here after you stopped by mine. i love AP for the surprises that lurk around every corner.
This is a WONDERFUL poem.
(I wish I'd written it)
I'll be back
-
-
Ha ha ha. Believe it or not, in a way that only God and I understand, I wish you had written it too.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
