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atari


dark stone taps bamboo
light stone taps and slides to place
beyond the window
a rustle of autumn leaves
falls silent as the dead stones


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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • BlackWidow43 silver member
    January 6, 2007

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    when i think of atari i think of the video game... i don't know if that's what this is about... but it made me think of pac man. LoL

  • heinzs silver member
    January 5, 2007
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    :-)

  • Molassis gold member
    December 31, 2006

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    whoa... short.. not at all what I'm used to when it comes to reading you...

    I found the ending superb... and well... I experienced the silence exploding as the leaves fell silent!!! I thought that part was exceptional!

    I do have a question though... I'm curious as to the first 2 lines and what they mean. Would you elaborate on them for me, please?

    It felt as if you were playing a game (because of the title) and were totally engrossed in it... and then the scene beyond the window caught your attention... or either the game came to a sudden end like the leaves falling silent... not really sure...

    This is a wonderful thought provoking piece though!!!!

    ~Melissa


    • Zahhar gold member
      December 31, 2006
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      well it's a game played on a 19x19 grid. when the stones are placed on the grid they often make a 'tapping' sound. sometimes you can't tap the stone down right into place because you might move an opponent's stone accidentally, so you tap the stone down in a clearer area and slide it into position next to an existing stone. hence the first two lines.

  • brown paper bag
    December 31, 2006

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    .

  • Kay Laon Anders
    December 30, 2006

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    Beautiful

    Now that I know what this is about I can make an educated comment..lol

    Like I said at myspace I like the last two lines the best ...it seems like a check-mate kind of situation...the first three lines I can't really say much on because it probably has something to do with how the game is played and I have not yet read the rules...you are right about "light stone" and "dark stone" that reminds me of chess also...I think I might have seen this game being played in Canada before but wasn't interested enough to stop and look into it. The last line is amazing...like sudden death in a match...great great write...I will go look at how this game is played since my curiosity is at its' peak...lol

    KAY

1 - 6 of 6