I sit looking out twin windows,
unable to escape the dark where I live.
Tired of fighting his demons,
I have nothing left to give.
He tells me the world is shades of grey,
but all I see is black.
Thinking quick sand thoughts,
I scream as he pulls the trigger back.
Finaly I realize, in the inky dark of our head,
the world is made of shades of grey..and red.
Author notes
This started out as a poem about multipul personalitys, and the fight to keep on the straight and narrow. I did not mean for it to end badly, but as with most stories, it took off on its own. Sometimes you have to go where the rhyme takes you.
Option 6
and 4
A contest entry
- Anything goes with these Options by SensualWhispers.
395 points, ended January 27, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, Morbid, Insane, Disturbing Options and Nothing But by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 16, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Melancholy by neitherherenorthere.
300 points, ended February 15, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Thanks ;p
I ment for the black and white to represent right and wrong, and gray represents the places in between. The poem is about a man with multipul personalitys, one good, one bad. The good one is trying to keep him from commiting murder, arguing that its wrong. The other is trying to seduce him into doing it, saying its a grey area, perhaps the victim deserved it. In the end the bad personality wins, and they kill the victim, this time the red signifys blood and violence. A rather dark poem lol, I try to be well rounded though. I do have some happy stuff ;p -
Love the ending, ever so true... I am sure that you mean blood, caos and other such drastic things being represented by the red? Greatly expressed though. Indeed like is supposed to be gray (good and bad) but it often is just black (which is bad). Loved the rhyme and the theme... Indeed this world is a dark, dank, disturbing place.
-
Lol well I try to keep the murder/suicide in my poems to a minimum..but they do their own thing.. silly poems can be dictators ;p I was hoping the switch from "he" to "our" would help the reader get it was the same person, I'm glad it worked ;p
-
Very good
I like this. Your own personality split into two, causing a rift of world realities. Excellent poem. I am glad you let it flow and let the poem take it where it needed to be. I don't feel it actually turned out bad at all.. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. Kassie.
Adding your comment:
