He was perfect, so terribly perfect;
So lovely, so terribly lovely.
I couldn't stand it.
He was my ultimate desire, my fantasy, my all.
I couldn't live without him.
I was just a nobody, a lonely little nobody.
I used to follow him, late at night,
I'd sit outside his house, watching him sleep.
He liked to sleep naked, you know;
It excited me more than I care to admit.
I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him.
He brushed me off, without a second glance.
I was so angry, so terribly angry.
How dare he scorn me? Me, the woman of his dreams!
I wouldn't let him get away with it.
Men have often called me cold, calculating bitch.
But they were all so wrong, so terribly wrong.
I was filled with fire, with passion, with a burning desire.
And the object of my desire wouldn't be denied to me.
I would have him, any way I could.
Knowing his daily pattern as I did,
It was easy for me to slip in after he'd gone to bed.
However, he wasn't feeling very cooperative.
I explained my position and begged him to reconsider,
But he would have none of it.
But I got my way in the end.
I have him now, forever.
It was easy to preserve him,
As I had brought all the necessary equipment with me.
And now he is mine, forever.
A contest entry
- Ah, lovely, lovely. Give me the forests, the stars by pointlessdayz.
525 points, ended January 14, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'm not really sure what to say to this piece... It's very morbid and a good insight into the mind of a deranged woman obsessed with a man. But I think that the way you chose to write out the story was very simplistic and somwhat unidimensional. Maybe, if you feel like it, you could re-write this from both party's points of view. Like one stanza from her POV and one stanza from his POV and so on. That would be interesting.
This was a great piece, and I think that you could take this in so many directions! PLease keep writing, and thank you so much for entering my contest.
-alex
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good
very good poem, i love it, keep up the good work
red roses
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