It was a little over a block away.
Rehearsal didn't usually go that late.
Right behind the lilac hedge
where I used to play
a predator lay in wait.
I've been asked for a memory,
this one is kind of hazy,
fragmented,
like my worst nightmare.
In fact it was,
but I was awake. Sort of.
Singing "Mama" softly, I was playing Sally Bowles.
A summer stock college production of CABARET.
mama thinks I'm living in a convent
a secluded little convent
in the southern part of france
that I'm working in a nightclub
in a pair of lacy pants
WHAM. Out of no where,
descended a dark fist.
My head snapped to the left,
my books flew away into the night.
Senseless...I couldn't make sense of it.
Something, someone had me by the feet.
Dragging me behind the lilac hedge.
Huge blooms loomed in my face
so fragrant, I snapped alert then.
Started to struggle. WHAM, WHAM.
Something was dripping in my face,
when next I came awake.
It was his sweat.
My pants were gone,
my shirt ripped to the waist.
Slamming into my body brutally.
I loosed a feeble, breathy little scream.
Big Mistake.
A huge hand clamped over my face.
SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH.
He said it through clenched teeth.
That was all I could see,
were his teeth.
He didn't miss a beat.
I couldn't breath, there was a vise
over my mouth and nose.
I struggled for air, but only for a moment
before lack of it defeated me.
When I woke up again
I was alone; aching, bleeding,
but mercifully,
alone.
I cried for a long time then.
Naked behind the lilac hedge.
Big fat lavendar blooms.
Still beautiful and fragrant.
As if the world hadn't changed.
They looked none the worse for wear.
Lilacs make an indifferent witness.
Gold trophy winner
Adding your comment:
Like others, I have a profound respect for those that can turn something that horrifying that happened to them, into a strength, and more positive way of life. I feel a link and odd kinship with you, as I too, faced many forms of abuse and used martial arts as a way of healing and victoring over those odds.
You definitly make my list of kewl bad a$$es if you could still perform after that. Great job on this. 
How horrid of an experience for someone to have to go through. And the lilacs, it's sad to think how they are now associated with that. I wish karma would get these men and their pathetic wee wee's would just fall off from improper use! It makes me so upset to read. But I'm glad it helped you and the author notes were just as impactful. You did a wonderful job of expressing yourself. 
