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Pattern of life




Twist ‘n turn beats my heart
Tangled strings now fray
Balled up in a wad of nothing
Colored in shades of gray

Knitted together so tightly strung
In rows of pearl, one, two
Interweaving loops untie
Trimmed in teardrops of blue

Frustration encircles filaments of life
Disappointment in all I believe
Needling deeper, piercing my soul
Entangled, unmeshed, I still weave

For nothing seems to be what it is
Everything seems to unfold
Stitching life, together with moments
Tarnishes my strings of gold

Interlaced thoughts with saddened heart
Whispers of dreams now shrivel
Knots of heartache on threads of hope
Pattern of life unravels

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • The Kake Show
    February 6, 2007

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    oh wow this is a beautiful piece with a great ryme scheme and its really beautiful i love how you got it to flow nice without it sounding cliche


  • Akimbo
    February 3, 2007

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    Wow... a macrame of words!

    You always write so beautifully! I think this is exceptional... so many thoughts in every verse... every line. I am moved. Your usually so optimistic and hopeful. Although I know this may be just another example of your many talents in prose... I can't help it... I hope things are well with you.
    All the best, Kj

    PS. Send me a note saying, "Sucker!" and I'll know that you are good. Lol!


  • wings of an angel
    February 1, 2007

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    This is a lovely poem that you have penned here well done dear poet your rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully throughout the entire poem, congratulations on the bronze win I can see it was deserved


  • PerfectImperfection
    January 21, 2007
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    This is gorgeous Linda! Absolutely mesmerising - so very well expressed. Something that I can certainly relate to: often I think we all seem to feel as if we are unraveling. Excellent use of imagery and intriguing depth of metaphor... This piece truly touched me. Beautifully penned!
    Wendy


  • black kitten22
    January 8, 2007
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    Beautiful write, congrats on your trophy! tremendous use of rhyme, flow and structure, its different from your last few writes, a nice tangible bittersweet echo to it, wondeful use of metaphor, darkly reflective, original and refreshing to read, well done, hope your are well


  • Poetic Aphrodite
    December 30, 2006

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    This is so beautifully interwoven within your page, and I must say handcrafted to perfection also Jasmine, a write worthy of appearing in the winners circle, Bella


  • TallDrinkofWater
    December 30, 2006

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    Loved it

    I love the way you combine weaving with life because it is such a great medafor. We are all just tapasters of life. Write on Master Poet


  • Jersene gold member
    December 29, 2006

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    Beautifully sad, with a hint of longing wrapped around your words...I like the metaphor of the doily...moments stitched together forming the patterns of our existence...Deeply heartfelt.
    Jersene


  • countrychick06
    December 29, 2006

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    Beautiful

    This poem is beautiful! I loved it...i loved the whole poem. It gave me the sense that even if life gets hard keep going. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes
    Melissa


  • CloudedCollusion
    December 29, 2006

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    Hi Linda,
    Awesome job. I would've never thought of comparing yarn to life/love. Beautifully written. Good luck in the contest.
    Eric


    • jasminerose
      December 29, 2006
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      Thanks!

      Hi Eric,
      Thanks for the wonderful comments and for the best wishes in the contest!!! Yes, life can be a ball of yarn, either knitted, crochet or stitched together or unraveling into just that... one piece of yarn! Thanks again Eric
      Linda


  • pattyann4500
    December 29, 2006

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    This is so beautifully written. I knew it would be when I saw the picture. My mother taught me to crochet when I was very young, but I never learned to gauge my stitches very well, so my projects never turned out even. I did, however, crocheted blankets for my grandchildren when they were born (twins). I always loved the pineapple pattern. I never learned to do that one.

    The intricate circle is so perfectly paired with your poem. Wonderfully executed, my dear. Hugs, Patricia

    • jasminerose
      December 29, 2006
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      Thank you!!!!!!!

      Hi Patricia
      My Grandmother taught me how to crochet and knit but it has been years and years since I have tried once more. Sorry to say that my stitches never were as good as hers or even close..lol You at least can proudly say you made a blanket for your children! I managed to make a small one for my Dolls (I think they fought over it..lol)
      I am so delighted to hear you enjoyed my poem! Your warm words have lifted my heart as always! Thank you my friend!
      Happy joyous New Year to you and yours!!!
      xo Linda


  • DawnBaby
    December 29, 2006

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    Wow

    Jasminerose in my humble opinion you are one word from perfection with this piece. Everything is perfect until you hit that last word. It is a forced rhyme. shrivels and unravels just are not as tight as the rest of the piece. Being a rhymer I would work on the second line in the last verse. I may try travels which rhymes quite nicely with unravels, do a synonom check here. I loved it, it is better than mine and I am in the same contest! Excellent otherwise just wonderful.

    • jasminerose
      December 29, 2006
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      Thank you!

      HI Dawn baby!! So wonderful to hear from you!! I hope all is well with you and your Holidays are as festive as can be
      Thank you for the compliments and for sharing your thoughts with me about my poem I always welcome other poets ideas and supportive comments!
      Great hearing from you!
      You will have to catch me up to date with all your happenings!!!
      Happy New Year!!!
      Linda


  • WayWithWords
    December 29, 2006
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    Flawless

    I really can't tell you my favorite part, there were so many good ones. You did such an amazing job! I mean, it was fantastic! I loved the part about "trimmed in teardrops of blue." That was such a descriptive line. I think you aced this contest!
    Charisma*

    • jasminerose
      December 29, 2006
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      Thank you

      Thank you Charisma for the lovely comment on my poem! How wonderful of you to stop by and read some of my poetry! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me
      I really do appreciate hearing them!!!
      Jasminerose


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    December 29, 2006

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    Awesomely written, my friend!
    Your wording is poignant; beautiful and more than worthy of a gold. I wish you all the very best!

    • jasminerose
      December 29, 2006
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      Thank you !

      Hi Sandy
      There you go again... Giving me that smile with your kind hearted words and wonderful friendship! What am I to do with you girlfriend!
      Thank you so much for the lovely compliments!
      And especially for always making me smile
      Jazzy


  • poet2angels gold member
    December 29, 2006

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    sad and beautiful

    This is beautifully written with flawless rhyme and flow....
    I believe I recognize this style as my Jazzy....
    Bittersweet and beautiful is this write my friend and I wish for you that the New Year will "knit together" a blanket of love and peace to keep your World warm...
    Lynda

    • jasminerose
      December 29, 2006
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      Awwww Thank you so very much for the beautiful compliments on my poem! A very intriguing contest you both are holding.. as I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share some of my thoughts with you both! Thank you again for always bring me a smile and I shall be awaiting that blanket or possibly taking up knitting..lol
      My world in my heart is always warm because of the friendships I hold so dear!
      Thanks Lynda
      Jazzy
      PS.. I guess I will never be able to write under an assume penname..lol

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