Another black eye to hide
More bruises to conceal
You still care nothing
For how I feel.
I can never escape you
So many times, I have tried
You've taken advantage
Even though I try to hide.
I wish I could run away
I wish I could lie
There's no way out
Even when I cry.
I'm all alone
Because you won't let me have a single friend
But it gives me time to think
And I have an idea to escape again.
I took your razor; I took your booze
I smiled the entire time, because this way I couldn't lose.
Author notes
Written May 26th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- *CuTtErS AnD SuICiDeS* by starryeyes17.
300 points, ended December 25, 2003, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This is good. I like it a lot. Great write. Later.
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this was a very good peice hun...i think some lines were ..."tried too hard" to rhyme and didn't fit well...but other than that, it was awesome...i feel so sad for you and wonder if you really have a black eye and if this peice is based on something true..
very good work and goodluck hun!! always, lindsey*xox
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This is a dark poem, but on the other hand i've known a few people who have felt this way.
I love the lines-
I can never escape you
So many times, I have tried
Alot of pain went into this poem but also if you look deeper into it you find the absence of fear to be able to continue.
if that makes any sence
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Fight or flight...I guess suicide is the alternative answer. But then in a way your fears win completely. Sure, they can't slap you around anymore. But things in life have a way of changing. Especially if you make them. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, unless you intend to be a victim your whole life. Then, I guess that's the same as a chronic illness of a terminal flaw. But don't blame anyone else. It's ultimately all up to you.
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Powerful
I'm beyond speachless. This just brings up so many emotions and so many feelings. I've never gone through this or felt these exact emotions, but just reading this gives me the best idea I could get without living it personally. -
Greetings,
******************************************************************
To be able to just escape from it all. How I would love to council you against thoughts on suicide but then I would be a hypocrite. For many a times I have thought about how easy it would be to end it all. I agree with everybody up there saying you should never kill yourself over a guy. They are not worth it trust me I've been there. Stay strong, if you ever need to talk I'm willing to listen.
~Lise
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Awwwwwwwwww. my lil baby, lol that poem gets me every time, i love the descriptive words you used, that was realllllly great. Keep penning on!
~~~Jordan~~~ -
Thank You
Very painful because it is so real
in life, very painful because so many have to
suffer this way
so painful is this write that it leaves me helpless
so painful is this write that I am speechless
so lovely is this write
because it is about te real world
so lovely is this write
because it alerts many of us
so lovely is this write because it shows your
talent as an artist
but I leave this page in pain..not pity, just pain..
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Quite a different piece than from the last one of yours I read. There is not one man on this earth that is worth it for you to harm yourself. There has obviously been more harm done to you by this person so there is no need to harm yourself......Hard to get up and leave though and it is hard not to hurt yourself......Very depthful and emotional write........I only hope that your days have been able to pick up and you have been able to walk away from this person.......
lisa anne
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wow... thats all I can say
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i also can relate to this but in a rather reversed way you I was a child used to get my mother to stay granted at the timeI was youn only abot 2 yrs old, but I can still remember, please read if you could " a slip intp madness' it is a more in depth look at it. As for your poem, i have been there so I have a understanding of what you are saying, a means to release the pain is a ever pressing need and you have expressed that here.
blessed be;
shaggy wolf -
wow, im really not sure of what to say. im speechless and everyone has said everything that i was going to say. excellent poem.
Luv, Kelly AKA 2crazy @-}-- -
I had a classmate that committed suicide, the warning signs where there and no one took that person seriously, those depressed people out there are looking for reasons to live, killing yourself is only the excuse not to live. Please read my poem, The Wrong Way Out, it's about prevention of suicide.
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Very Good
Its scarey what the truth holds for each individual, and those who don't realize that, are truely fools.
Jack -
I would have to agree with Wilma's comment I wouldn't hurt myself over a man no matter what because they are not worth it. I know how men use kids against you too and that is hard to get out of. but i also have to say nice work on the poem it was a very good poem keep up the nice work and i'll keep reading i will try to get around to reading some more of your work as soon as i get a chance to.
take care of yourself
~~~~Maryann~~~~ -
Deep painful write...wilman's comment is good advice! ~CWM~
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This is a very touching poem. One that I can relate to. I was in a abusive relationship and did get out after 17yrs. He used my kids against me to make me stay. No way I would have hurt myself over him. I would have cut him before i would have cut myself.
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DO NOT TOUCH!!!
Wow, do I know how you feel... or at least what you might possibly be going through. Most of my poems are on cutting. I keep saying I will stop, but everytime I've tried, I've failed. My friend killed himself 2 and a half years ago... so that's another reason for why I hate my life.
You express your feelings so well here. I love how well this poem flows to. It's not at all forced. If you need to talk at all, I would love to. My contact info. is on my author's page if you ever need it.
Great write. Keep them coming to get these feelings out, because I know that holding them in causes so much more pain. Take care.
Gi
~*~Gi~*~
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