Flushing horror in my brain
Melting into time
Screams of pain surround the stain
Slipping into slime
Mouths opened in a scream
Letting life explode
This is a perversion of a dream
Melting time bestowed
Smiles that strike the soul
With repulsions awful flow
Leave you longing for parole
Screaming nights of long ago
Melting into insanity
The horrid truth abides
Screaming loud profanities
Ripping out your insides
Insanity inside my brain
Tears my soul apart
Life is now arcane
Soiled and stained my heart
Flushing horror in my brain
Melting into time
Screams of pain surround the stain
Slipping into slime
In a list
A contest entry
- Can you impress me? by .
400 points, ended January 11, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - x Bring Me To The Depths of Insanity x by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended June 14, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insanity by Insane-Joe.
700 points, ended December 2, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
good
good..very good..idk why you had the 1st four lines repeated at the end? overall very good explanation of insanity...
-
Awesome, thought i would visit your dark chambers and i am not disappointed, ive written hundreds of poems on insanity to the point of being driven into insanity lol. they are all in the bin *laugh* But you have mastered the art of capturing the madness very well. Congrats on a mad mad write
-
Insanity inside my brain
Tears my soul apart
Life is now arcane
Soiled and stained my heart
Flushing horror in my brain
Melting into time
Screams of pain surround the stain
Slipping into slime
Your a great poet Troyias i always loved the dark side of poetry but yours had taken it to a whole new level of expectations
It flowed great in Ryhm a true piece of darkess that explained the way you feel about the abyss
Keep it up and thank you for sharing
~Soul of the unknown~ -
Hmm.... I liked this one a lot. It's very well written and all. But i hadn't asked you to tell me about insanity.. I asked you to BE insane... and I also asked for something I could laugh at. Please put the option number in your author's notes.. I don't want to dq. But this is a really good write and on normal circumstances I would've loved it, trust me. ^-^ There was a lot of darkness in it... pretty gothic. nice.
-
-
oh shoot! i'm so sorry!!! i thought u entered this into my contest!!! wrong one!! so sorry!!!
-
-
This is very dark and disturbed... Some of the imagery, especially at the start, made me shiver a bit and feel a bit sick... Then again anything with slime in it or other substances unidentified have that effect on me. Dark and disturbed but the confusion and horror is what goes on in many of those heads that are described as insane or mentally unwell. I agree with these images.
-
'screams of pain surround the stain' is extremely haunting, accurate and kind of catchy i admire how you've held the rhyme steady too... and that picture is perfect
good job
-
Kind of reads like an old Metallica tune. Heh. There are parts where the count breaks up and it is a bit distracting, but only in the most minor way. The only thing that keeps me from really liking this is that it hasn't accomplished anything new. The sentiment is identifiable, almost in a genre unto itself, and is, therefore, pervasive. Then again, I suppose, something is to be said for perpetuation... maybe with each new writing, like language itself, a contribution is made to the metamorphosis of the whole.
~Das
P.S. - Check out the Raven Contest (20,000 points and cash) coming to Allpoetry this June. -
I like the format. The flow, rhythym, and rhyme here are excellent. Repetitive, without redundancy, it's just enough to bring the poem full circle, and paint a gruesome image, of one's own personal hell. Definitely not a place I'd like to be! Incredible read! Keep it up!
-
-
Thank You
-
-
Whoa! I love it. It makes my insides squirm a little. Your words paint a very vibrant image. This is totally awesome.
-
-
Glad you liked it. I see it did it's job. It made you squirm. thanks again
*Go with God*
Valerie
-
-
that picture is so creepy! great rhyme and flow - a deep, dark, sad piece. well written! thank you for entering my contest!
-
-
Thanks
-
-
this is a great piece of work! very complex and the meaning is deep rooted!
You're wording was phenomenal in this piece and the over-all poem was extraordinary. You also incorporated nice imagery, and it was an extraordinary read. -
Pretty Awesome
The repetition at the end kind of irked me, but I understand why it was done, and I think it was done well. The way you described insanity was rather awesome, and you did it while maintaining a pretty good beat. Kudos to you. -
i love your work, enjoyed the show
ryhme so exact, just connected flow
rythem crisp, meaning strong
My highest prize,I pass along
rudolf
-
-
Thanks
-
-
Lovew the arwork of so many twisted minds....WOW i do like .......... like it a lot...great descriptive imagery so powerfully tuned into that chaos the repetition works really well ...as we slide down on through life the insanity of the mind the insanity of the world....I am bookmarking this one.*rose8 Very well crafted good luck in the contest but this is a winner for me
-
-
Thanks
-
-
very good write. its so intense, so detailed you feel insanity creeping into your mind along with the pain as you read this .... fantastic
-
-
Thanks
-
Thank you
-
-
Melting into insanity
The horrid truth abides
Screaming loud profanities
Ripping out your insides
wow i thought this poem was great and the above stanza was my favorite
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
