Twas the very first Christmas many years ago,
a bright star shone light on the dark world below.
Leading the shepherds and wise men who were kings,
to a baby called Jesus of whose name we now sing.
Into the portals of time lets go back to the start,
telling the story of Mary pure in body and heart.
An angel appeared saying "With God you've found favor,
you are chosen to give birth to the world's holy savior."
"How can this be? For I know not a man,"
The angel replied, "You will conceive by God's hand.
His holy spirit upon you shall come,
and this child you bring forth will be God's only son.
The light of the world their hope and salvation,
a story to be told throughout all generations.
His name shall be called Jesus, the prince of peace,
Son of the Highest whose kingdom will not cease."
Realizing the implications of all she had heard,
Mary said."Let it be to me according to thy word.
I am a servant of the Lord may his will be done,
use me as the vessel through which Messiah can come."
On her way to tell Joseph pondering what she would say,
of her amazing encounter with the angel that day.
Wondering how he'd react, could he really believe,
when revealing her condition and how she'd conceived.
Feelings ranging from shock, grief anger and fear,
at the thought of betrayal through his soul the pain seared.
Still Joseph knew Mary's kind and loving heart,
from her virtuous lips only true words would part.
Later that night to him in a dream,
came the very same angel that Mary had seen.
Saying,"Don't be afraid to make Mary your wife,
for God's son she's conceived, brings eternal life."
At that moment he remembered from the scripture these words,
in the synagogue from Rabbis here's what he'd heard.
"The virgin shall conceive and bear a son, Immanuel
"God with us" the meaning, and in our heart he will dwell.
"Mary's that one! Oh how could I have doubted?"
Looking up into the heavens to God almost shouted.
Forgive me and thank you for I am no longer torn,
Mary shall remain a virgin until Messiah is born."
Soon from Caesar Augustus came down a royal decree,
every man with his family to his home town must flee.
Now married, they set off for their taxes to pay,
to a tiny town in Bethlehem with Joseph leading the way.
Mary heavy with child upon their donkey's back,
along with food and provisions in which they had packed.
Both realizing what destiny they'd embark on this travel,
amazed how God's prophesy was beginning to unravel.
Weary from travel while entering David's city,
Joseph searched for lodging but no one took pity.
"There's not room at the inn an innkeeper grumbled,
but I do have a stable" Joseph was grateful and humbled.
"This child" Mary said, not conceived the normal way,
will be delivered in the manner common to all on this day."
"God be with us" Joseph replied with a loving nod,
"This child was promised and will be brought forth by God."
Through the darkness came suddenly a bright ray of light,
God's son Jesus Christ came into the world that night.
placed in a manger of straw as his make-shift bed,
not even a pillow on which he could lie down his head.
In the fields there were shepherds watching their flock by night,
when an angel appeared they were filled with great fright.
"Do not be afraid for glad tidings I bring,
in the city of David born to you is a king.
A savior Christ the Lord and this shall be a sign,
a babe wrapped with swaddling clothes in a manger you'll find."
And with the angels appeared a multitude of Heavenly hosts,
singing "Glory to God peace on earth they did boast".
The angel left quickly leaving the shepherds in awe,
each wondering out loud if it was true what they saw.
Saying "Let us go now even unto Bethlehem and see,
this thing God has made known unto you and to me."
Entering into Bethlehem the bright star lit the way,
to a lowly, humble stable where baby Jesus did lay.
"We've come to worship a child, the peace of the earth,
which the angels tonight revealed to us his birth."
This child is God we've come to worship him,
he has come to free us and save us from sin."
The shepherds sang great words of praise to his name,
They had seen the face of God and would never be the same.
The good news traveled fast to the wise three kings,
they too visited Jesus and gifts to him did bring.
This was the story of that first Christmas night,
the first gift was Jesus, a gift of goodness and light.
Author notes
My entry could be either option Holiday poem or rewrite a legendor story in poem form you choose which you think it best fits.
A contest entry
- Calling All Christmas Posts by daviscth.
450 points, ended December 20, 2007, 57 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dont you hate it when that happens by notsotorturedartist.
335 points, ended December 27, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Virgin Mary by Violinstrings.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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i apologize
you told the story in your own words
very cleverly done
most of sounds like you were writing a song about the story of christmas
you did not copy it from the bible
sorry
I will consider a prize for you
especially since you had 45 comments -
Wow! The whole Christmas story, in aabb rhyme and good rhythm. Excellent!
One word I have trouble with is "implications".
It throws off the rhythm and to me just doesn't work. Perhaps "meaning" would work? It's not exactly the same but close enough, I think.
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Beautiful
this is well written
I am glad it won prizes
your use of words to describe the story
throughout keeping with rhyme and flowing rhythm
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this is good
this is a great poem retelling the story of christmas day\
please keep it on my contest
I like to see you write another poem
with more of your thoughts of the virgin mary
something in a short version
this is beautiful youwon a bronze and gold trophy
can you please write something
idea write about how mary felt about joseph becoming her husband feeling about the angel coming -
Remarkable achievement in blending history and poetry, ancient with modern. I especially enjoyed the way the lines moved in a floating four-stress pattern that gave the poem increased impetus and propelled me from line to line. Well done.
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A beautiful, heartfelt poem telling the true meaning of Christmas. The fifth stanza from the end of the poem. The 4th line is attached to the 3rd line, making it very long. I thought you might want to know this. Keep up the good writing. Great imagery in your poem.
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This was simply amazing....No other words needed!!!
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Wow I love it it was long but like I said in the rules unless it was good it cant be over 40 lines yours is good so its line # doesnt matter. I loved the flow and everything in this poem thank you and good luck
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OH WOW!!! It must have took you ages to write this wonderful poem. The imagery was awesome as was the flow and rhyme scheme. Thanks so much for posting in my contest and all the best luck to you at judging. Merry Christmas, Cathy
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Excellent poem. Although, Christmas was a pagan holiday which was a phrase first recorded in 1038, I celebrate with you the birth of Jesus.
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Very impressive poem you have penned here. Great flow, rhythm, rhyme and story you have retold in a new way. So simple to read and understand, children would be able to know what this was all about. Very fitting for this time of year as well.
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This is probably the best Christmas poem I have read this year. I love that you beautifully told the story of Mary and baby Jesus. You know... my favorite Christmas claymation cartoon was about the donkey and Mary rode to Bethlehem. It's not a very popular one though
Anyways... this was fantastic... very well written and full of so much faith. Well done, good luck! -
Wow
This was my first poem i read on this site and it's great. Follows the story perfectly. I could read writing like this forever. -
A bit long with some VERY dodgy rhymes in it! And dodgy metre too, if I must be totally honest. Perhaps if you read it out aloud, you would be better able to make some improvements.
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Well done.
This was well written and is a powerful rendition of the birth of Christ very accurate from what we read about this time. You word this in a way in which children can understand the story of Christs birth in an uncomplicated way. You sure should write childrens stories especially those of a religious nature for you have the gift. I do believe that you could probably write any kind of story though as you have a great command of the written word.
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wow you have a real gift. This is perfect. I really enjoyed reading this.
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This is beautiful.I hope that some people will read this and be drawn to God in their heart Jesus can save them if they would just ask for forgiveness and follow His words and be righteous with Him.I really hope that you win this contest.
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Thank you for entering...
At least, unlike some of the entries, there is a "Biblical Dream" in it... But why did you leave out the OTHER dreams in the Christmas story - the ones warning Joseph and the Magi of Herod's intentions to kill the Child? -
So Awesome of a write
This penmanship is totaly superb Toni And i so enjoyed every word I have never read it in such an understanding and flowing way.Beautiful and heart felt
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I agree4 with Bob Fox you should write religous short stories. Wrll done
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Your faith
Is very deep . I see you must read the scriptures or you should write religious short stories. you are very good at this
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good
this is good. -
Some unusual rhymes! Jolly good.
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Amazing
You did a wonderful beautiful job on this one. Glad to add you to my favorites. I promise to be back and read more.
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I must put you on my favourite list................................................................................................................................................................................. I love a good poem.
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BEAUTIFUL
Hello this is a first poem I have read of yours and I must say - WOW - you kept me reading til the end. This is a very good write - especially for children who are learning the bible. The flow of the words is there - just curious how long did it take you to write this one.
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This was absolutely beautiful! It is so well done that it brings a tear to the eye. Truly! This should be shared with all, children especially. Just a superior job on this! Bravo~ Be well, my best ~ Elizabeth
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Well done!
Great rhyming in your poem...I really enjoyed it! It was a bit long but you told the story well (and that's what's important).
Maureen
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Way Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simply Fantastic, you have outdone yourself this time, this was truely an undertaking, very well done, very well done!!! Congradulations on such a powerful story written so beautifully, Toni you are a wonderful writer and God has blessed you with a most powerful gift!!!
T2YL - Jacen.
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Nicely Done
This is very good and all the round well written. It's intresting to see other peoples interpretation of the birth of jesus, I mean it's clear from scriptures that jesus wasn't born on the 25th of DEC nor did he instruct to celebrate his birthday but this is still good. Nice work
P.S.
I am new to AP, and would love if you could check out some of my work. Any comments or suggestions would be very much appriciated.
Much love 2ya and HAPPY NEW YEAR! -
You were able to pull me into the story. This was very nicely written. Great job!
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excellent! excellent!! excellent!
a fantastic rendition of the first Christmas. although it is common use, the first two lines of the last stanza happened about 2 yrs. later
you did a fantastic job on this. i am going to check out more of your work. God bless you
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superb
Such a beautiful and imspiring write and yes he ws a gift of love and light -
A thorough write her,,,It is the most painstaking write yet of the detailed truth of the Nativity Story..It is very well done in rhyme and flow...Full credits to the poet here...An amazing work!
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Loved It! the tale of Jesus' birth
You have done an excellent job on this prose. I enjoy each and every word of it. Beautiful balance to the verses, they were nice and smooth, the rhyme pattern was awesome and it read so well. Long read but it was worth the time....Write ON!...Novy
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very good
Hi Toni - Joe here - long time no see - when I saw your name on the "featured poems" site I clicked it right away - first time I saw your name since we talked back and forth - what a surprise - your poem has excellent ryhme and flow - very easy read - the content telling the story of Christmas is great - - very good presentation in poetry form - I have one posted called "Wisemen Came" - you may be interested - ok going critique this one a bit- line 1 could read "along time ago" or "long long ago" - line 2 could read "A Star shone brightly on the dark world below" line 3 - I do not think the shepards and the wisemen came at the same time - and nowhere does it say there were 3 wisemen - there were more than 2 for sure - could have been 103 for all we know - line 20 - may "your" will be done. - last stanza may be be scripturaly incorrect - the wise men and the kings are one and the same,I think . says "behold, there came wise men from the east" and "Wise men still seek him Toni - Bless God - Joe - (Dobar Dan)
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Whew!!
I see it did post after all!!! Well there you have it, the system is just running a step behind
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Whew!!!
Awesome work girl! You did a fantastic job, your hard work is clearly visible in this write, it just flows in a heavenly light ~Tia
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Amazing
I absouly love how you put all this in great detail. It really made me sit here and think. Nice way to decribe the nativity that we all grew up with. -
Great telling of this event... a bit on the long side though
but choice of words and rhythm is nearly perfect...
Good job... -
A beautiful and true story wrote so well. You really did a wonderful job on this. I love how you start out with, twas the very first Christmas. Bravo!
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ahhh! the navtivity in rhyme. great job done here must have taken you forever. good luck.
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excellenta
this is what christmas is all about in a world where everything has become so very commercialized it is good to see that s ome belive in the true meaning of christmas
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wonderful
What a delightful rendering of the Christmas story! I will bookmark this and use it next year when I teach Sunday School at Christmas time. This is well done.
God bless you! - joanne
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Awesome telling of the nativity and such as many children would enjoy this read to them, it is full of clarity and faith. I enjoyed reading it.
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