gone, too.
A contest entry
- Pre-writes Welcome ~ Free Verse Only Please by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 9, 2007, 80 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Hell, what did you expect? I've been writing for 26 days straight.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
Wow. That was beautiful... heart-breaking, but beautiful. It's so sad, watching people lose themselves and lose their dreams. I think, "Told me those childhood beliefs bled dry
in your first menstrual cycle."
And,
"then plundered on, wondering
which one of us learned the hard way."
were my favorite parts. Great write.
-
BRAVO!
You've bravely told the truth and shown the other side of the marriage coin. I love this piece - it shows you're a very intuitive poet. Made me feel as though I were looking into the shameful (yet human) reality of the betrayal of love. Well done, Lady!! 
-
-
-
Good
The writing is fair
the story is moving and powerfull
Your honesty is almost excruicatiing
I dread sometimes I am a man
We are such barbareins
Any man that hits a woman
is a pindick sissy whimp
and needs his ass kicked by a real man
This is all very disterbing
I hope you were strong enough to
find your way to peace
Rick
-
You really know how to tell a story. I wish you would write a novel. It would be a best seller for sure. I'd be first in line to buy it.
-
-
Thank you.
Eventually... when I've worn myself out with poetry (or more truthfully, when I quit being so damn lazy and actually start the damn thing) that is my goal. To write novels.
Odd that I continue to play with poetry when I want to write prose...
I'm like that. Make no sense at all.
-
-
wow. this is a very poignant piece of writing. nicely organized and rendered, just an excellent read all around which I enjoyed very much.
best of wishes,
Lea
-
-
Thank you.
-
-
Bravo!
Everything fits soo perfectly. What a wonderful series of images. It seems that the last couplet ends a little abruptly, or maybe the word choice is a bit off. The tone changes a bit. But that is just MHO. Never the less, a fantastic write. ~Peace ~Gar
-
-
true... the ending does end a bit abruptly... I'll have to look at those 2 lines and see what I come up with.
Thank you.
-
-
Powerful childhood memories, when times were simple. The pains of bedding with life, dark years of pain, sibling differences within choices made and lifestyles created.
I find this poetic story to be a beautifully composed piece of art, within past and present memories.
A masterpice of life you have written.
Jeffro -
Keep it up!!!!
"We never bought wedding rings
but occasionally I would wear their shadow
around my eyes. " Shite, that's good!
I liked Zayras comment of the rarity of bed poems, interesting! This is one for the books to be sure.
I was moved, because I remember that doing this. Giggling over first crushes, doodling Mrs. So-and-so, over and over again! lol
It is sad that we can't continue in that state forever, but then we wouldn't get to reflect like this. This is excellent. See? I told you if you keep showing up to the page, you get brilliance, and this is.
-
I don't think I have ever been more moved by a poem. It's scary- I remember being a little girl like that, growing up in ignorance wanting that little bit of innocence that leaves us day by day.
thank you.
-
Two paths - one sadder than the other - don't know what to expect - it's cruel how we mess up - it's the man's fault, but there's little we can do about it - once the cycle begins. Liked the first part a lot as story-telling - second part ain't bad either.
-
You know, I wrote a bed poem a long time ago and just before I filed for a divorce too. I have never posted the bed poem here but I did workshop it at the time and the workshop instructor pointed out that bed poems are rare. I thought that was strange. The bed is so common in our lives, you would think more poets would write about beds.
Anyway, great poem.
-
-
That is odd... bed poems are rare?
Thank you.
-
-
Well, poems about activities in beds are not rare, but actual bed poems or poems that have the bed as a central metaphor are rare.
-
-
-
Write for 27 then! This is good and such a powerful story of growing up and life not what you expected or dreamed it be. It tells it how it is and I like that, it is brutally honest.
-
This is damn good. I will be back~
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
