You make me wait.
In hours of thought we often met
Beneath the pounding heart of regret
I take your hand and will you guide
To that periphery and beyond
Where no other has tried,
A gentle finger on hushed lips
Obeying-ly I wait
That sought after kiss
But you make me wait…
And those butterflies take flight again
And resonate through my being.
A gliding hand
Over pregnant lust
Hardens soft nipple at your touch
But sweet smelling breath
Calls my kiss
Teasingly, you still make me wait.
I did not call you and yet you came
I knew for sure there was
More of the same
While I watch the awe upon your face
When you trace with tongue
To find a warmer place
You could not enter without a kiss
And its then I make you
Wait in bliss.
We tie our tongues, bit our lips
Follow the unison waltz of hips
Then,
Then you’re…Then you’re…
Bated breath
Moistens there in
The place
Wherein
Awe… Aweee!
My thoughts you’ve been.
Author notes
This is my first time writting this type of poem, i like to keep it clean and i hope i don't offend anyone.
In a list
A contest entry
- Shorter The Better! by My Darkness.
400 points, ended July 4, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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I wasn't a bit put off by this poem darlin'. There is every bit of warmth and passion one could want in this piece. And, the way you describe the mingling of the two lovers. I like the line "waltz of hips" best. It's very good.
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I certainly was not offended
very sweet and descriptive. reading it made me thirty years younger.
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Beautiful
This is beautifully written and expressed. You have a special gift. That gift is write about love. About anything that flows through you heart and mind. Keep it up and don't stop.
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very sensual
I'm a little embarrassed to read such a personal poem but hey, I guess that's what writing is all about.
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i wasn't offended, but i will say the rhyme wasn't the greatest.. i think you've done a very good job nonetheless.. thanks for entering and good luck
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Ummmm, well then....
I found this to be quite an exciting and the antisipation [for what was the end result] was worth the wait...
Excellent write, especially for a first time at writing this genre... [I certainly remember trying to write my first... lol]
Well done, most enjoyable and vivid.
Jeffro -
STUNNING WRITING!!!!!
STUNNING WRITING. WONDERFUL IMAGERY AND FLOW OF WORDS HERE. BROUGHT THIS PIECE TO LIFE. VERY VERY WELL-WRITTEN INDEED.
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Dia Duit Wayne leon! (Hello)
Thanx for taking the time to read this, like i said first time! Haven't attempted another lol.
But, you have inspired me maybe ti think of doing so.
All my regards.
Slán Dolores xx
xx
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Beautiful
Tasefully done,but boy oh boy do we ever get the message.Great write
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Very well done...
Lady Ireland,
Stopped in at Lomhar's place and saw a comment by you. Thought I'd drop by for a peek. Very nicely done. Erotically heated with out the crassness of a porn poem, you know, the overly graphic kind.
Think I'll look around some more.
Buddy
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Very nice
Hello Lady Eire,
I have read your comments on my friend 'bluejeanbabyqueen's' work, your comments are always worth reading and my curiousity was piqued. So here I am for a first read of your work and I was not disapointed. Wonderful imagery evoking memories and emotions in the reader; and highly in-offensive I might add. A great piece, I will be back for more.
Namaste,
Eyec
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WOW!
Ohhh...dear! It's a big WOW! Sure no one will be offended with what you've written, I can't find the word that best describe your piece at this very moment but please let me salute you POET! -
you did beautifully
Kj
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MMMMMMMM This is such a very beautiful seductive poem. It's beauty lies within the tenderness of your heart felt words. It is such a beautiful poem to read. I thuink it is sensuously erotic and very tastefully written. You have a special and natural talent to write with such beauty. I look forwards to reading more of your poetry.
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Beautiful
Tastfully erotic. Filled with passion and love.
Wonderful imagery and I mean wonderful.
Found myself getting lost in your words.
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Agent Provocateur!!
Delores, Par Excellence: Quintessential, Preeminent, The Best of the Best!!! I Love it!!!! Rose of Ireland
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Light, almost fairy tale adventure
This is so soft and winsome. Caught between sensuality and storybook imagery. Very delightful. A pleasant surprise. Love, Tom B.
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undecided
i am undecided.. i read it twice and still i feel well undecided.. some very wonderful lines in here "that sought after kiss" "hardens soft nipple at your touch" .. i read it out loud and still i stumbled. The third line "I take your hand and will you guide" bothers me..well i apologize for not giving you a better review but many many people enjoyed this piece.. do not take one critics comments to heart.. i but state how i feel about this piece not that I am important or that my feelings matter.. poetry pleases some but not all and that is absolutely acceptable -
Well written and very erotic. Every line is pure delight. Poetically sound and erotically heated. I haven't tried my hand at an erotic poem either, for the same fear. Fear of offending. You didn't.
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Thanx for kind comment and applause. x
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How strange it should be that I was listening to With or Without You just as the words 'On a bed of nails she makes me wait' as I opened this poem. Almost melded music and poetry together as one. Awesome job here m'lady, tis beautiful.
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Thanx for your kind comment.
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Excellent!
I love it...well done...sensual and erotic..incredible imagery...Excellent foray into erotica..Larkin -
WOW!
You did a fantastic job here, this was sensual and extremly well done,
A very clasy write from a gifted writer and amazingly graceful lady!
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thanx lexi for your encouraging comments my friend. Slán Dolores. xx
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Another Great Job
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Excellent
You Did a great job, I agree Exocitica can be clean and still be felt deep within, Your are a wonderful poet.
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Thanx for agreeing with me Charlie, I do like to keep it clean i can never see the need tp use smutt . thanx for your applause my friend. Slán Dolores.
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Excellently worded
Your words were a perfect design of protruded love, entwined with passion and lust.
I find your flow simple and gracious, it didn't hold me back, and because of that I guess your poem was very fluent.
As for the emotion you stirred, I can only say that you stirrd with wit a dream long lost in the periphery of hope.
Your words sounded so original and charming, that I think this lovely piece would befit a strong romance movie hehe..
If I am a master, then what can I think of you eh ?
Be well.
Raven Dark.
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Excellent
The title is perfect for what follows. I love the sensualtity of soft words you use, you can do so much that way to give vivid images. You said your first...
I think most excellent.....Kale
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