A girl’s lost love is
Like a ripple in a pond
It soon fades away
Author notes
Definition of Haiku
1) An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a moment. Nature is combined with human nature. It usually consists of three lines of 5/7/5 (5 kana in the first line, 7 kana in the second line, and 5 kana in the third line) totaling seventeen kana.
2) A foreign adaptation of 1, usually written in three lines totaling 17 syllables or LESS.
As you will notice, there are two definitions. Definition #1 is where many get confused. People tend to confuse kana or a single unit in the Japanese language with the English syllable.
This is like comparing apples to oranges. Kana cannot be compared to syllables.
Unless you are Japanese, have been writing Japanese, or speak fluent Japanese, you will be writing definition #2.
The difference between the two is that in definition #2, you will be writing three lines of poetry, 17 syllables or LESS.
This means you do not have to write three lines of 5/7/5 (5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line, and 5 syllables in the third line). You may do so, if you can do it well without fluff words (many can't). If you write 5/7/5, that does not make your poem more of a haiku than someone who does not write 5/7/5.
An ideal haiku should be short/long/short - but that depends on the haiku itself. There is nothing wrong with 5/7/5, if that is what you want to write. However, the majority of modern haiku in most of the journals are not 5/7/5. That doesn't mean that it doesn't have its place.
However, it is all "haiku," not "haiku" and "other." It's just haiku. If you like, you can refer to 5/7/5 as "traditional" -- but even that is not entirely accurate, as it is quickly becoming more traditional to veer away from 5/7/5. The plural of haiku is also haiku, NOT haikus.
After you have been writing and studying haiku for a while, you may be ready to break a rule. This is fine, if it is needed to improve the quality of an individual haiku.
However, before breaking any haiku rule, you must learn and practice the rules.
Then after you are more experienced, you can determine which rule, if any, you want to break on occasion.
Break rules out of experience, not inexperience.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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the last line was amazing...like a typical haiku has got to be...!!!
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Love the ah ha moment of the final line,
a brilliant 'ku.
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I'm no good with this Haiku style. hehehe
You did a splendid job explaining! Thank you for being such an inspiration!
B
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Aww, I always struggle with my haiku ~ well, doing it in the right form anyway ^^
Great write though! I am impressed
Noir xx
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Really terrific
I found this really terrific piece of poetry. I am still trying to get the right slant on these Haiku's. I think a sestina is easier than the Haiku. Terrific job.
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beautiful imagery...
I really appreciate your author notes on haiku. I started writing haiku a few months ago, and it has turned out to be one of my favorite forms to write. I've adhered to the 5,7,5 syllabic meter in all of the 40+ haiku/senryu I've written so far, and I am very pleased to know that it's just as much a haiku if it's not 5,7,5. I've dropped some lines in previous haiku, only because of the syllable count not matching up that I really liked. I used those lines in later poems, so they were never abandoned. Thank you for pointing this out. I look forward to reading much more of your work.
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Great minds think (almost) alike, as soon as I read this I was reminded of a similar piece of mine I wrote ages back:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/1367309
Regarding your piece I do like it but I do feel that despite your comments about not needing to use 5-7-5 form you have used it unnecessarily. (Although I must say it's refreshing to see someone point out that 5-7-5 does not a haiku make.)
The revision I'd like to suggest for this haiku is:
young love
like ripples on a pond
soon fades away
I suggest the first line as a lost love is by definition gone and doesn't fade away (although the memory of it may), whereas young love often does fade away into something else. -
Very cool haiku! I like the contemporary touch given into this one. The message is as clear as glass.
I know I will learn a lot from you.
Thanks for sharing.
>>>VIRGOAN
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Wow,
Such is love sometimes, but I wonder if true love does ever fade? I don't know, just hope that's not the case..A very pondering piece you have weaved, thanks for sharing!
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good imagery
I never really understood haiku's
and i really thought they were so stupid
thanks to you
i actually know how they are created
i always thought they were some one stanza poem about nature
maybe i'm right about the nature part
I'll have to check in your other writes -
you are soo right...a girl's lost love is just lyk a ripple in a pond...this sounds soo nice...it sounds lyk im floating {which doesn't really make sense...but whatever...it was just really good} i have heard many discriptions kind of lyk this about a girl's lost love...but i say this one is greatest...HOOT HOOT HOOT>>>BRAVO>>>BRAVA!!!!!haha...BYE!!!!
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Great!
I like the haiku...and the information you added about what a haiku is. I may bookmark this...just in case I want to do a haiku sometime in the future. Again, good job...and thanks for sharing the info! -
Oh... and thanks a lot for the author notes.they were very useful...and inspiring !!!
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why is there just one haiku in the list???I'm sure you wrote more so do please share them!You've got talent or otherwise you wouldn't have come up with such a lovely piece(and why not say it, in a style quite difficult to approach) Lovely!
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Bravo!
However I suspect it takes those ripples awhile do finally stop registering a heartbeat and finally die in the flat line of the past. ~PeacE~GarY~
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thank you
Thanks. I like motorcycles too. Amera
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