The untamed, untouched and unwanted feeling of a blissfulness so intensly far away,
and yet a swirl of closeness covers it.
To feel the bittersweet wanting of the nothingness,
yet the amazing desire to hold to all familiararity soon to be lost in an unknown land.
The wonderfull horrors soon to be felt by the newcomer,
for the intrusion in the otherwise peacefull place of limbo.
To taste and feel and smell the colors of death for eternity,
all in a moments notice.
And it all ends simply enough,
with a feeling of destructive reality.
A contest entry
- DRIFTING OFF INTO DREAMLAND by R S Adams Jr.
550 points, ended January 19, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Don't Know by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended April 29, 2007, 137 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. I had a little trouble trying to figure out this poem until I saw that you had originally written for a contest dealing with dreams. I did see several typos.
intensly far away,
Should read:
intensely far away,
yet the amazing desire to hold to all familiararity soon to be lost
Should be:
yet the amazing desire to hold to all familiarity soon to be lost
The wonderfull horrors soon to be felt by the newcomer,
Should be:
The wonderful horrors soon to be felt by the newcomer,
for the intrusion in the otherwise peacefull place of limbo
Should be:
for the intrusion in the otherwise peaceful place of limbo -
well written
‘Drifting’-comment by judge
wonderfull = w onderful, peacefull = peaceful.
I like it. I am caught in the lost world between the real world and the world of sleep.
I like the use of contradiction such as ‘wonderful horrors.’
The last line with ‘destructive reality,’ is very vivid with the shock of realism.
Richard
…
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thank you
Thank you for entering the competition which is judged by me, with no knowledge of who the poet is. I am impressed by the quality of many of the entries. I will spend a few days studying each poem and look for the trophy winners.
I will give points to the poets who have written to the criteria mentioned in the requirements, - your feelings and thoughts in that moment between the real world and dream world. I am hopeful that the expression of such emotions is vividly portrayed in any poetic form.
Peace to You
Richard
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first
this was my first.....poem of this type, so it may suck penquins
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