The tongue launches through ice-silver lips
words that shouldn’t be forsaken
were they last ones spoken
would you have them engraved
in a stone
for the world?
Author notes
(Duette)-- a primarily self-created type usually written:
in free or blank verse, mildly cryptic or obscure in content that concludes with an open question or statement.
Formcontains 5-7 lines with numbers of words or syllables in this line sequence:
first - 9 syllables words:
second - 8
third- 7-8
fourth-6-7
fifth- 3-4
(if 6-7 lines)
sixth- 2-3
seventh- 1-2
A Frame- Words
B Frame- Syllables
In a list
B Frame- Syllables
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Hoodwinked!
I liked the opening line "the tongue launces in ice silver lips". I am not sure where to start on the interpertation. My first impression was don't say things you will regret later. -
Wow! You have created so much imagery in this write. I could perfectly picture somebody in their last moments, with that very thought running through their minds ~
were they last ones spoken
would [I] have them engraved
in a stone
for the world?
I enjoyed the vision your pen inked in to my mind. And also, thanks for an introduction in to a new form that I hadn't known about!
-
I think the tounge, as in slip of, had said something that it didn't mean to. And that being the last thing they said to someone. And the last 3 lines "would you have them engraved in a stone for the world?" is would the last thing that you ever said to someone be great enough that you would want to share it with the rest of the world and so ingrave it so that it would last forever. I loved it.
-
awesome
This is absolutely beautifully haunting.. love the brief form too.
-
nice job!
I thought this was brilliant in the style and message you presented. You go girl! Thanks for a brilliant and nice poem!!
-
Interesting, as ever. Nice to see when I return here that some things don't change and your ability to breath fresh life into formal poetry is still fabulous!
I was reminded here about the saying from 'A view from the bridge' that it is easier to get back a million dollars stolen, than one word spoken. Whether it would be physically carved is not essentially the issue; if there were no ongoing debate or resolution, how would the words described 'hold' in the eyes of posterity? Ironic that it is a reply that validates and develops the spoken word- when so many people seek the 'final word'in any conversation, do they know what a double edged sword it can be?
-
-
As only YOU would see, the vision is enlarged, focused and with more precision. That's the 'duette' of it. You okay???????
Resolution CAN be more than one, as we are as a people, right?
Loved and appreciated your interpretation!
Thank you so much........again.
-
-
I'm back reading on AP, but have recently changed jobs and am a bit busy for writing- I'll let you know when I get some new stuff done.
-
-
-
This is a wake up call to me
You wrote what on you mind and I agree with you. But I like the sytle it is in. Oh! Thank you for your message on my guest page.
-
another one of yours...
...written in genuine genius!!! -
Recalled are those last words ...
and those of importance spoken: Father ... in your Hands ...
When I read your poetry, my soul becomes silent in waiting ... and always the blessing ... Thank you Beloved Friend for another profound write, reminding us: it is a NEW YEAR with NEW OPPORTUNITIES. Do NOT return to the old habits of bad! Those words may be your last ...
The last words spoken by the father of my children, were: "What is that noise?" I do not really know how to translate it, the Afrikaans words were: "Wat maak so?" He was standing in the foyer with the back door open, and the baby of the neighbours was crying ... Right after those words he sat down in the armchair, and only spoke once again, saying "Myra ..." and some inaudible phrase followed. His last word, thus, was "Myra". He did not speak again before he died some hours later.
How precious these simple words. How profound the thoughts of your poem. What will my last words be? Will it be words worthy of who HE is in our souls? Words spoken to someone who may not return again, whom we will never see again in this realm ... Who may depart.
Wonderful form. Wonderful usage of words to simplify a divine perspective. Thank you my friend -- may 2007 bring you sacred words -- words of Love and of Light -- spoken and heard.
Myra
-
-
the echo of his words.......
Oh, Myra. Thank you so much for letting me in on something that my poem invited. I can only imagine such a journal of this finish.
"Your name...your name,
as when Christ called his
Mother after death..by name" How it makes us so significant in His sight!
It made my mind tremor and heart affirm its purpose.
There is quite a mission in this little form that contains a spiritual realm that I didn't realize till I was able to receive testimonies such as yours.
It's the fulfillment of something already happening, feelings already being handled, and closure that is much needed.
Thank you for a great interpretation, but more importantly.................assign its mission!
Love you.
-
-
Cookie-Thought provoking write. We all to often speak in haste to another.Never knowing if, those will be our last words, to that person. Unfortunately, if so, those words can not be taken back. If only, we could always engage our spirit before we speak. Results, I believe would be very different. So often, we just blurt out a reply to another.
You've made me, stop and do a self-examination. (When my heart is stirred, the writing is worth the time to reflect.) Are we not to always seek spiritual growth, day by day? GBU, prairiegal
-
Lovely writing and of course meaningful to have those final words to a loved one before one dies to remind them. Or perhaps those words from our hearts to them. Perhaps if not in a stone least in a letter or speaking it often. Love,Sherry
-
-
Oh, yes........good ideas
I see that you saw the intimacy and what we leave the world .......in a letter. You and I know this, I see.
Precious comment, darlin'. Thank you ...Bless you...Cookie/D
-
-
For me, an icy chill came over at the thought of how important are our last words spoken; the chisel marks we might carve upon a heart.
I love to be pulled into contemplation as your piece has done here. I'd have made a great archaeologist. Nothing like a good dig for a new find. This is what I love most about your Duette form.
Love it,
~Mary O
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
