Is the cresent moon so jealous of the sun's reign,
That it must slaughter the sun till it drops from the sky,
So that the moon might rule over the day and the night?
Would there be silence at last when the mighty steeds pound the earth,
And the banners flap in the angry winds?
When all is won and all is lost,
Who will hear the victory call?
Who will hear the last man cry?
Who will see the tears of the Gods' rain from the sky?
Author notes
This was written for a movie call "Ran". It was a japaneze, subtitled movie, that had such impact that I wrote a poem about it as soon as it ended. It was a very powerful movie.
A contest entry
- "I Never Win Contest!" by kennybaby05.
380 points, ended January 23, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wallworthy Poetry by The.Stars.Go.Blue.
525 points, ended February 19, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - enter anything u want !!! by sweethelper.
300 points, ended February 19, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Hey, this is a great poem. It's very powerful and full of emotion that gets drwn out through your imagery. I like that you didn't hold out the imagery too long but kept it simple and distinct.
I have two quick comments on this. One, I think you misspelled "steeds." And, two, I think you might want "God's" in the last line to be plural like "Gods" or "gods" depending on your preference.
I like the questions this raises. It's very well done. Thanks for putting it up on the board for us to read.
-Rae : -
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Thank you for your kind review and the 2 corrections. You were right on both counts, so I made the amendments.
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its a strong write , with quite a lot of unanswered questions !! great write !! i loved it !!
thank you so much for entering the contest and best wishes in the cotest .
your well wisher ,
truthwriter -
I didn't even know this was a prewrite! i really liked reading this poem. nice job.
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very good it si powerfull like baah said
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I agree with Tender wolf. It is a powerful poem and indeed, the last line is also my favorite. You can take this poem literally or compare it to a great many things. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Love ya, aunty!
~.~Yvonne~.~
Baahltres -
WOW
This a very powerful poem,it really makes one stop and think.The last line was my favorite.WHO WILL SEE THE TEARS OF THE GOD'S rain from the sky.A very beautiful poem.
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