the
tower
rings…
From over here-
It sounds like
a wind thumped a metal cloud,
echoing loud
a-clanging
right along.
but
From over there-
It sounds like
the moon dove from spatial toes
smashing its nose
dead center
on a gong.
.
A bell in
the
tower
rings…
From over here-
It sounds like
a wind thumped a metal cloud,
echoing loud
a-clanging
right along.
but
From over there-
It sounds like
the moon dove from spatial toes
smashing its nose
dead center
on a gong.
.
the
tower
rings…
From over here-
It sounds like
a wind thumped a metal cloud,
echoing loud
a-clanging
right along.
but
From over there-
It sounds like
the moon dove from spatial toes
smashing its nose
dead center
on a gong.
.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Italics, centerline, and a emoticon? Actually this is a good poem, given what it is.
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I love how your verses when read aloud actually almost sound like a bell ringing in a tower or a gong being struck.... what a cool effect!
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lol, cute and sweet! A fun and enjoyable read!
(you've been Hood-Winked)
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Hoodwinked!
Cute. I really like these images. "The wind thumped a metal cloud?" I thought this poem humorous indeed and something for children's imaginations to dive into. -
fantastic
i have never commented on anyone's poem's before. i do love your work.
I am intrigued by the word 'Spatial' means.
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Hi. If I didn't reply to you before, I want to thank you for reading "A Bell And A Moon", from my children's series.
Spatial is an adjective that means subject to space, or something from out of space.
I thought of changing it to "Special" for the sake of age range, but I'm not sure yet.
Once again, merci~!
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I couldn't help but say ouch and giggle at the ending. My daughter would get a kick out of this. I need to book mark it and let her read it when she returns home from her slumber partry tomorrow. Great children's poem. Children of all ages that is.
Sam
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I liked it. I slightly reminded me of 'magic places' in children's literature; the idea if you go to a 'magic' place at a 'magic' time, reality will shift. Dahl and CS Lewis use that idea- one moment it is just a wardrobe, but to Lucy at a certain time it is a portal.
It was quite funny too- as if some mystical dove was supposed to glide into the world in a cloud of fairydust but instead conked his nose on the old church bell!
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I spend a lot of time with a six and ten year old child as of late. I found myself smiling with the image in my mind of them hearing such a poem as this - knowing that they too would be smiling enormously with such infectious cute imagery.
Thanks for the smile Cookie... such a great remedy for a tired brain that needed some levity and great poetry in the same instance.
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LOL!! I like this I think about the church bell in the tower and I like the soft approach you bring to it about the cloud it makes it more carefree somehow. Yet the moon dove smashing sounds like the pure annoying sound of a less patient day of getting tired of the bell...(LOL) thinks about the bird flying in the glass thinking its clear on the tv add....Pleasent while it lasts yet the annoying gong LOL Cookie....Could be soft and gentle then nothing but a bug in the ears!
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...and you came up with mmooooooore?:O
....Interesting how you commented with this load of relevant subjects, Sherry. But overall, you got 'it'. Yes you sure did. Your comment alone was a poem in itself. Maybe I see something with that!
thank you. Love you!
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I'm having trouble with this one. Hard for me to imagine "the moon dove off its round toes." I know the pivot must be in 'over here and over there.' I'll have to come back to this one when I can give it more thought.
~Mary O
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......satire too strong?
Maybe it's too strong, but I wanted to give an absurdity to what is comparable to Seuss or Silverstein.
Thank you for your honesty!
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