I am
but
pitiful pebbles
at Pain's shore
where
the gravity of Grief
grinds me into grains.
So,
Today,
I am sand,
simmering
silently
in the smoldering sun,
seeking
one ray of light
to hang myself with.
Detached,
incoherent,
-wasted and weary-
I wallow in
wicked waves,
slave
to the shore, the wind,
and Oblivion's ocean.
Refusing
to dissolve
in Life's bitter waters,
grain
by
grain,
to the bottom,
I fall
flirting
with Filth.
And there,
I linger,
and
savor the Silence.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Very interesting...alliterations? is that the right word? It gave me the impression of very steady, loud music. Absolutely loved it!
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Interesting as well
This is more powerful and more illuminating with a style that not so many can undertake...
You remind me of someone who is good with it too,
the one-word two-words -alliteration technique..
It's my own definition, I take it you don't have a name for it, anyway...
This was another favourable read from you, I am drawn to your writings.
The way you use your page is quite witty I must say..
the words not just read out, they seem to f l y...to b r e a t h..
Good job,
Be well,
RD. -
awesome
this is outstanding and gives me a visual as if I'm that very grain of sand...Alas, one might think that a small grain of sand is insigificent, but without that grain of sand, the universe itself is incomplete, and we aren't a part of life as we know it...we are all a part of something and thus not alone...this write is outstanding...smile..David
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wow, you used words to paint such a picture of emotion, good write!
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ACE
Hi Hana long long time no contact i have been working and children and christmas so no time at all
How are you ? all well I hope?
Love this poem great imagry talk soon
karen
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Wow
This is really powerful. I am always in awe of the way you write.. so perfectly!! You rock my dear..!!!
The images painted here are unreal!!(That is a good thing) LOL..My mind is a bit blank today as you know..so a good comment..yur not gonna see it today.. But Incredible write.. I am honored to have read it!!
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AMAZING
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Amazing!!!!!!!!!!
''slave
to the shore, the wind,
and Oblivion's ocean.''
Hana, you never ceaze to amaze me my friend! sensational piece! I really cnt find the words to comment on it! Amazing piece!
*YoRgO*
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crap 4got to applaud
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deadly
that pen of urs is smth else my sweet sweet friend this is just well
this is just great the imagery the flow of words ya alah men wen betjibiyon 
my friend is a smartass wohoooooo 
grain
by
grain,
to the bottom,
I fall
flirting
with Filth.
And there,
I linger,
and
savor the Silence.
looooooooooved it but love u more
-
"seeking
one ray of light
to hang myself with"
greatness !!!
me..
xxx
-
AMAZING
my words are too humble to comment! -
AMAZING! EXCELLENT!
no comment! hell im kiddin i wana comment, flirting with filth ? what an image!YOURE A WAVE! INDEED BUT An inspiring slushy wave in summer heat!
girl ,,,, U're an inspiration !
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"Oblivion's ocean."
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You are such a writer...and I am lucky to have you as a friend...so grain by grain we can cleanse the myth that all there is...is degradation...Merry Christmas sweet Hana
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my applause dudes arent showing
i applaud again
-
breath-taking..
-
"So,
Today,
I am sand,
simmering
silently
in the smoldering sun,
seeking
one ray of light
to hang myself with. "
hana... im speechless
~rana~
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