You spent the time to open softly this pink shell,
touching with your tongue the center of my salty entrails.
And you said - "dance..."
but I could not...
And you said - "look ..."
but I could not
I felt cold...
my heart blocked.
Then...you took sapphires from
the earth's deep to be my eyes
and with your hands
from lithesome wood
you designed my legs and arms,
with a kiss on each tip of my fingers
you designed my nails from the pearl...
...
Breath from your lungs become my own,
freesia's petals my fluttering wings...
and your own heart in the center of my chest
started to beat.
I understood your explanation and ration of passion
for this time nature was our only companion.
With rose wine you made my blood,
with promises you made my soul,
and you turned the mountain into fire
and lava started to wash our bodies
till we fell asleep.
Author notes
Manifest Destiny
In a list
- Love • next in list
- AP Trophies - G - S - B and HW • next in list
- Favorites Written By Other Poets • next in list
A contest entry
- Don't enter this contest if... by Danna Hobart.
425 points, ended January 17, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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When your body merges with all outdoors, not just your lover's!
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If we live unified with nature...
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your sensual poetry is the best.....
this is lovely....I like how you often bring in elements of Earth & nature...I am a fan of yours forever....
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Stunning Work
Stunning work here [should have been gold] Amazing imagery and flow to the words within this piece. Wonderful writing once more. Well done indeed.
Wayne Leon
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Different -- very creative
Interesting -- the lover creates the beloved -- unique
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Believe me or not, this one is one of my fav's. I am glad that you like it too.
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this was a very interesting poem i like how you took a picture then portrayed your thoughts of the picture into a inspiring poem lovely work you are definitely a talented poetess
Temple~
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This is fabulous. The metaphors are strong and involving and the poem moves beautifully to its conclusion. YOu are a poet of rare talent. Congratulations! Chris. PS I will be reading more of your work.
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Thank you Chris for this so nice and uplifting comment and applause.
~Sonja~
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This is so wonderfully delightfully sensual. The tenderness splashes against the feelings of fear, the passion against the hesitation until all of nature becomes a rhapsody of love and and dreams requited.
Nicely done.
~ Tom B.
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Yes, you are right, you captured the right meaning of this poem. Thank you for your deep review and nice comment.
~Sonja~
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"You spent the time to open softly this pink shell,
touching with your tongue the center of my salty entrails."
...somehow my eyes got stuck there in those first two lines (and I'd rather not tell why here...)! And of course those closing lines too.
I can but sigh...and sigh again. Lovely and soft, yet so very sensual.
~ Nicolette
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Very nice write. Unique in style and topic, as most of these writes are often the same... But this one speaks of love and material thoughts and feelings. Thanks for sharing.
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There are parts of this that are okay but the overall effect was a good effort but somehow did not touch me the way excellent poetry should. Because it is so personal and so intimate it should bring the reader closer and it doesn’t. Or not this one.
David
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Thank you David. You have a right for your own taste for poetry. Believe me or not, as a magazine editor I have my own taste for poetry too and I am happy to see somebody like you who could act honest, not only like those who always said - cool, or great, or whatever, something like that. Anyhow, I would like to see much more of your reasons, explanations, what and why you do not like. That would be much better comment.
~Sonja~
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The picture is very enchanting and really invokes some inpressive pictures within my mind.
I found myself lost in the beauty of your poetry. so many imagescame to life in my mind as my eyes passed from one line to the next. You are a brilliant poet with such a tender heart. I have always loved to read your heartfelt masterpieces. I am sure you will do very well in the contest....
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Thank you Ed. Your words and comment are a great compliment to me.
~Sonja~
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Breathtakingly Exquisite!
Dear Sonja, I am SO glad I popped in tonight to read from your shelves. This is exquisite indeed, every part touches the heart and gives new sensations life, sigh~~~
I was going to highlight my favorite passage, but I realized the comment just below had pasted the same section. about 'sapphires and lithesome wood'
I know everything comes from nature..but you've painted a masterpiece with this, Bravo!
Let the ink flow! love and blesings Sandi
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Thank you dear Sandi for your sihg, here is mine too for your so precious comment. I am glad that you like my poetic paintings.
~Sonja~
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Then...you took sapphires from
the earth's deep to be my eyes
and with your hands
from lithesome wood
you designed my legs and arms,
with a kiss on each tip of my fingers
you designed my nails from the pearl...
....wow! that part was my favorite and so vivid with imagery! simply brilliant! keep up the great work! -
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Thank you My Darkness for your time to read and comment my poetry and for applause. I am glad that you like it.
~Sonja~
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oh my what a poem, the paint your words paint the words sent me into a dream fantastic talent you have is amazing hope you win the contest
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Thank you dear feather for such a nice comment and applause. Actually, this contest is over and I am signed as honorable winner.
~Sonja~
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Awww, Sonja, this is so beautiful. Your words have painted the loveliest of pictures. As I read, I could envision this body coming to life from opening of this fragile shell to falling asleep after the passion.
I LOVE this piece, Sonja ...straight to my bookmarks it goes
Dee
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Thank you dear Dee for such a nice and precious comment.
~Sonja~
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BEAUTIFUL
One of the best piece I have had the honor to read. I love the picture to go along with the words. So well put together. Breath taking.
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Brilliant
I am reeling. This is magnificent.
Then...you took sapphires from
the earth's deep to be my eyes
These lines took my breath away.
Your imagery and metaphor is enviable. Thank you so much for this.
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Amazing
Beautifully written and wonderfully shaped. Great Job Sonjs. May your Christmas be beautiful and wonderfully blessed.
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie *roe*
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Thank you Valerie. Today I was on yor site but from some circumstances I had to logout. Now I will be back to your poem. Merry Christmas dear friend.
~Sonja~
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hi my dear Sonja
wow...you left me speechless.
Wish you the best luck in the contest.
Shahrzad
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Thank you dear friend. Yoe good wishes are blessings for my muse.
~Sonja~
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so creative...
creation, methamorphosis, re-birth, motifs so dear to my heart that i use and abuse continuously in my poetry, if as the creator or as the created. therefore this poem touches that deep chord in me which is almost second nature and i drink it in almost as naturally as if it was one of my own. such a natural flow, from the small failure to the final magical creation when bodies become one with the fire thus the only way fire can conquer them is by... joining in their sleep. wow, such a beautiful love poem, sonja my friend
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Thank you dear Joe. My intention wasn't to copy yor stile. I have many poems on my language written this way. Most of them about nature. I am glad you like this one.
~Sonja~
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