If people wouldn't drink and drive,
Souls like mine might still be alive.
I would be 26 today
If a drunk driver hadn't take my life away.
Probably married, maybe with kids..
Lazy Sunday mornings reading The Wizard of Id.
A big backyard, and nights spent gazing at stars.
If only someone had taken the keys to Big Tim's car.
It was a warm summer day.
Mom was happy and singing.
With no idea,
What the next turn was bringing.
A roar and a squeal, the cars engine humming,
Was all that Mom heard,
She never saw it coming.
She tried to react, to jump in the way.
One horrible moment, she relives everyday.
A sick crunch of gravel and twisted metal,
Mom grabbed me to her chest
Before the dust even settled.
"He just killed my baby" her constant refrain,
Barely filtered through to his liquor soaked brain.
Bloodied and shocked she held me so near.
Her last gift to me were her kisses and tears.
His name was Timmy just like mine.
But when the cops came, he couldn't walk a straight line.
He sold his freedom for the price of a drink.
I ended up dead, and he went to the clink.
I never learned how to walk, or had a first date,
Or got in trouble for staying out late.
But Big Tim, he got a second try,
To do something right before he dies.
To tell you my story and make you think,
Before you get on the road, after having a drink.
Author notes
This is not very good just thought I would try.
Written May 24th, 2003
A contest entry
- For Little Timmy by Timothy Cameron.
393 points, ended May 31, 2003, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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This is a great poem! The end put a nice perspective on it. Well written, very thought provoking, and nice subject matter. The Rhyme added a nice touch, It made it flow well, and wasnt at all forced. Well done.
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not very good? are you on something? this is amazing...soo much emotion and imagery. Very very sad!!!!! My heart pours when I read things like this...even though not all of them are personal, it still happens every single day. And it is horrible to hear about. What a heartbreaking story you have created in this....job well done!!!!!
~~Jenn -
awesome
Wow, this was absolutly brillant. I loved it!! The imagery is what really got me..I had to keep myself from crying.
great job!!
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A+ poetry
Wow, that's really powerful. Your imagery is amazing and I really think this deserves an award of some kind. The vivid images of "Lazy Sunday afternoons" and the "sick crunch of gravel and twisted metal."
I also like your rhyming scheme- though I'm not much of a fan of rhyming poetry, this rhythm is very helpful and rounds the poem out very well.
Wow. Keep up the good work.
- Sky -
great job!
i really like it. good write, and way to express your feelings. it makes me feel horrible about the death of the child. i like how you can get in touch with your readers emotions. a perfect example of why life isn't fair... you're a talented writer. writing using rhyme is hard to do, but you did an amazing job getting your point across using rhyme without affecting the meaning and outcome of the poem...good job! -
This is really great! I love your work keep it up and you could go far!!!!!
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10 out of 10
WOW!!! It is something that could happen to anyone, but that not many people think about, and they should! i have lost 7 of my friends in 3 differant accidents to drink driving, and this poem DID bring me to tears, it is such a waste of life. Amasing write, well done! -
Great write filled with the innocence of a young child. I see no bitterness here, but hope in the lesson to be learned
You have such a talent with rhyme here, and the story conveys that of second chances amid tragedy. Good job and all my best 
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I got a huge lump in my throat and I could picture this all happening but instead of this child here, I saw my daughter, which scared me all the more. I had to put a block in my m ind to keep from seeing her that way.
The descriptions are brutal, the wording powerful and heart wrenching. In the fourth line you have 'take' where 'taken' is needed.
Overall a well done poem.
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Awesome
Great job!!! This poem is crammed full of powerful emotions and the timing is impeccable. Keep up the good work
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excellent
wow. this is such a sad, brillant, and emotional poem. the rhyme is great and your use of words is wonderful
great job!! -
Simple! Yet effective......Truly brilliant. I loved it. It was really stiking made me think a lot. Good one !
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wow... this was an awesome poem. i almost cried. i mean i have never thought that deeply about those kind of things. your poem is filled with such emotion, and i love this poem!! great job!!
**macey -
oh my goodness!!!!!! this is one of the best poems i have ever read in my whole life. this almost makes me want to cry. your rhyming is so incredible and very very creative! you painted such a good picture of the story line and stuff. i can see this "tim" and his life going on in the process.....awesome! this is just incredibly moving and sweet!!! good job and good luck in the contest!!
-brae -
wow
one of the best I have ever read I wish I had your talent. -
you did well in relating the story and the emotions that were evident within it...Artis
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AWESOME JOB!!!!!
OMG!!! when i was going to return the favor didnt know i was going to find such a good poem i am soo adding you to my favs. and bookmarking this poem. I love the way you write and when i am older i hope i will be that talented. Good job bye -
This IS very good, nonuvurbizness! VERY.
I dislike it when people say their good poetry isn't good (I do it myself :P). This is very good. It gives off advice. Drunk driving is evil. I used to like the thought of drinking, once upon a time. But, I've always hated the thought of driving (until now). So, hey if I ever drank back then when I didn't like the thought of drivin' and stayed like that you wouldn't have to worry!
Very emotion filled poem. I like it
-The Evil Sock
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your kidding right this not only good but a very powerful and emotional write you did an excellent job on it. hold on i need a klenex this part really touched me
Bloodied and shocked she held me so near.
Her last gift to me were her kisses and tears.
once again great job and thanks for sharing
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this is such an amazing poem,
it makes me want to cry.
i am so struck by the lines
"She tried to react, to jump in the way.
One horrible moment, she relives everyday"
so many lives were destroyed in that one instant.
a beautiful tribute to little timmy's memory.
,,,=^..^=,,, Clare -
You really did a great job with this one. I thought it was teriffic. Good luck with the contest. Freeways Mom
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awesme poem chickadee. it really caught my eye, i liked all the rhymes!!! great poem.
~Kicks~ -
Well I have read 3 of these already, and I have to admit, this is the best. You say its not good, WHAT AM I SEEING THAT YOUR NOT?! Cuz this is great hun.
Amanda -
BRILLIANT - I admire you and all the entrants courage and strength to enter such an emotional and difficult contest. You have captured the essence of emotion - pain, tragedy, sorrow, hope and light - all in this piece - it is beautifully written
WELL DONE
DANIELLE
XXXXXXX -
Honey let me tell you something this poem is great it brought a tear to my eyes while reading it. you did a teriffic job on this
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Not very good? >pshaw!< I want your talent! I love the way it rhymed and flowed, and how you took it from 'little timmy's' point of view. Great job and good luck!
Thanks! ~Nikko~ -
Such a sad and painful write, I have a drink driving one, but it doesn't even compare. Good luck in the contest
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Not very good? This was very good indeed, considering such a sensitive subject. I liked it. Best Of Luck with the contest.
Carrie
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