Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

When my time ends

I kneel before you broken on my knees,
Thoughts entwined around me like roots of trees
They're everything I've feared, from the start
Coming through this life, tearing my world apart

I’m the only one who can be blamed for this
All the pain, all the hurt that I find in my life exists
After all is said and done, it can’t be changed.
I stand all alone, waiting for things to be rearranged,

Standing amongst the rubble, of a life I should not own
Ready to show the world that under my skins a wrist bone
I could soar again, on my beautiful wings of selfish pride
But on them I fly too high, with the sun I inevitably collide

I choose to fall, for being who I am, rather then lie
If it means I won’t live long, I’ll make the best of goodbyes
But when my time comes, for me do not weep my friends
Coz all my wounds will be healed when my time ends

I’ll be safe in the arms of my Father, safe from harm
And the storms that come from my eyes, he will calm
As my tearful confessions have watered, broken down
You’ll bury me deep underneath the solid ground

But I’ve found someone prepared to hold me
I’ve found someone to carry me free
With everything I hold inside of me
With everything I won’t let you see

Author notes

My Best Poem

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21
  • ForeverInSolitude
    January 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Love it

    This is so beautiful in the beautiful/sorrowful way

    the "i choose to fall, for being who i am, rather than lie, if it means i won't live long, i'll make the best of goodbyes" is ace.... i'll probably want to quote this one day

    I love poems like this.


  • Walking Tall
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ah i can't help but smile...
    it's a terribly beautifully tragic poem
    and i can't imagine losing you
    but you wrote this so long ago...
    and you're still here
    and i'm so gratefull
    and so proud of you
    for just that.
    even if i didn't know you
    and love you for everything else you are
    that would be enough
    you're a great poet
    and an incredible person
    he can't have you
    we need you more =)
    love you
    thanks
    seej


  • enigmatix
    July 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oops sorry for all the comments

  • enigmatix
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is GREAT!!!!!! I love it. It is awesome how you can express your emotions in poem form and still come across clearly and touch people through it!


  • enigmatix
    July 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow! this is sooooooo awesome. I really like your word usage and how you put the poem together!


  • Tiggs
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Its incredible. I have no words lols. So sad but so happy at the same time and your soo metaphoric! love it bectoryness


  • Dark Whispers
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this ia an amazing good poem , although you could touch up the flow of the poem alittel bit, it is still a great poem.


  • Phiona
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is amazing, I only just read it, but wow.
    You use of metaphors is brilliant, and I must agree this is one of your best poems. It certainly is both thought provoking and easy to read, as it flows so well.
    The thought of you leaving all of us is heart wrenching - so your not allowed to go! But in all seriousness, it is sort of refreshing to hear about the possible release of the pain, and all the secrets. Must be nice.

    Brilliant.


  • Tilted-Misschief
    February 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow,this is such a good write,i like it..It has such great emotion to it..well done and good luck


  • Welcome-To-Hell
    January 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I feel the emotion flowing from your fingertips through your pen wonderful write

    Bravo


  • RavenChild
    January 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You echo my thoughts and feeling in this beautifully written poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.


  • Slowly Drifting
    January 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. is all i can say. wa-ow. *faints*


  • Losing Hope
    January 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yayyy.
    I like this one lottt's.
    It's really good.
    I love your metaphors.
    I think your getting better than me at poetry..
    =0
    *dance*
    =)


    <3Flo


  • Shadows of wolves
    January 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    There is a real depth here that just screams from the the wells of sorrow, yet there is also the ending which brings about hope and balances ,the whole piece.

    Well blended brew, well crafted write.

    Shadows


  • purpledragonfly
    December 28, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    wOW

    wow... that was just wow
    taking responsibility...
    i loved it. so sad and dark. i really liked the first two lines - got my attention love the tree root idea and i love the last line.
    it's just so sad - i can feel the emotion...when things are done and just can't be changed
    wonderful read. and title is extremely fitting. DF40


  • Star Shine
    December 26, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you have described the emotions, and the way you look at this fromboth sides, the regret but responsibility, yet the joy and peace of looking forward when the time finally comes for rest. And a pleasure to read the meter and rhyme. Well done. Hope you have many more years of writing here on this plane.


  • The-Singer
    December 26, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    BAD LUCK BEK! I'm weeping whether you like it or not. Though I hope I die first cause I'm older. Don't you dare die. If you die I'll kill you. That's a threat I'm willing to put in writing. Oh look at that I already have Great write Bek

    SEANNI!


  • skyviewexpress
    December 24, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Good write, pretty impressive! The Rhymeing seemed a lil bit forced but all in all pretty smooth! i love the part..

    I could soar again, on my beautiful wings of selfish pride

    You made good use of metaphors vocab, etc. Good write and thanks for sharing this with the group.. it was definately worth reading!


  • imperfectperfection
    December 24, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Speechless

    OMG Very well written truly a masterpiece.. The tone is remorseful and flow is sad that are very well spoken with the choice of words you have made. It is indeed very heartfel & I can so relate to it.. Sadness can be beautiful, you just proved it by writing this wonderful poem...I simply lovve it

    I hate doing this, but tiny little suggestion, this is your poem...I figured last two lines are rhymed in all paragraphs as your style in this poem so instead of the following seecond line:
    After all is said and done, it can’t be changed.
    I stand all alone, waiting for things to rearrange - you could write....I stand all alone, waiting for things to be rearranged

    2) I fly to high - you probably meant I fly too high?
    I'm sorry again for this, I don't mean to hurt your feelings and they both don't take the reader away from the depth of your poem...


  • Twilight Moon
    December 24, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    this was absolutely brilliant..it made me teary eyed..it was so emotional and just really sorta dark and deep..it really hit me and you did a great job with it and the flow...great job

  • Walking Tall
    December 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow.
    this has some incredible ideas
    metaphors
    and such.

    im kind of speechless coz i wish i couldv thought of them. you really are getting better at a phenomenal rate and this piece was definitely worth the wait!!!

    good onya mum.
    CJ

1 - 21 of 21