That guy in the corner
The one misunderstood
Popular with no one
Not even myself
But I'm also a savior
To those who confide in me
I'm that insane guy
That has 2 unneeded jobs
Just to waste time
And make unlimited money
I keep to myself
But in my jobs
You'd never guess
That I am
Who I be
I no longer sleep
But seem so hyper
All the time
But at the same time
I look stoned
My eye droops
But I stand still
For days on end
Driving my bike
From job to job
30 mph or more
Cars hate me
And people much more
But I continue
Draging on through
Until I snap
Mentally
Physically
Or emotionally
I can no longer take the strain
Become much more insane
Fall asleep
For days on end
No chance of me waking up
Like trying to wake up
A rock in tiny cracks
In the granite sandstone
Worst of all
It clicks in me
That people hate me so
I go on a rampage
And I go to prison
I harbor my anger
Turn it into adrenaline
For the rest of my days
That I'm awake
People joke
That I'm going
To be richer than Bill Gates
By the time I'm 30
But with 4 jobs
And what they guess
Will be my jobs
Walmart Cashire
Part Time Singer
Professional Stuntman
Professional Rollerblader
I think they're right
Its too bad
That I'm already
Stretching myself too thin
I'm ready to explode
And Or fall asleep
I also look poor
Dispite how much I make
I'm proud of my money
That's all I am right now
I'm the shell
Of who I used to be
Filled with compassion
for others
And passion
For making things happen
For the better
Too bad I scare people
For what reason?
For Who I Am
Author notes
gives the reader a different look at me
one i've never really showed before
My sophmore year
In a list
A contest entry
- The Animal you've Became by Fallnangel7.
550 points, ended December 24, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - when passion is enough by KeeperOfTheNight.
600 points, ended March 28, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - depression or dark love by Darkened eyes.
370 points, ended May 24, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
improved, tell me how to improve it, and please give me your opinions on it
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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another one that makes me cry, I'm glad that you've changed out of that state, yet I would have still loved you all the same, glad things have improved for ya
keep writing
~Ashley~<3
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This is a really good poem, and has a great pattern and rhythm, good luck
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intresting piece, what caught me most were the broken sentences, stopping in the middle, the choppy-ness makes it really intense, raw emotion makes te best of poems, thanks for entering i wish you the best.
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ha yeah same name and stuff but yours is way better!!!!! i like it!!!
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Isn't it so true that the ones who are paid least attention to are the ones everyone needs to help them get through their tough times. you've really showed that in your poem.The imagery in the poem is very well used. I think you've done a good job
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An interesting,introspective piece,raw and laying bare the personna like a rubber band dipped in ink and twanged across the page in a so there you have it fashion.
Perhaps the danger isn't so much that the character may explode as implode? We are each of us works in progress and this piece suggests a state of existence is felt as opposed to feeling like one is alive.
The acceptance the character seeks will be more readily found from others when the self is accepted and the urge to say occupied via employment so that one has less time to reflect on things is a common approach and yet that which isn't dealt with doesn't get forgotten,it is temporarily forgotten and rears it's head when yet another enforcer enforces it.
Many wish they had become something different from they are and yet look at the alternatives,the character hasn't yet achieved the elusive dream but nor has he created a nightmare,whilst not a film star with fans he is not a mass murderer with enemies,many famous and talented people have been eccentric,considered different by their peers but who is more normal,the person who feels different and recognizes it for what it is or the person who doesn't acknowledge it?
Enough of my ramblings,a thought provoking piece indeed,love and light,Yvette
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It's great. You spelled 'unlimited' wrong, there's only one 'm'. Other than that, I wouldn't change anything.
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you told me the one thing to change on Who I've Become. Can you please Expand upon "It's great" because my definition of great is probably different from yours, pease and thank you
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it does reveal who you are. and i wish you wouldn't base so much on money. people love you dan, it may not seem so, but there are those who love you. don't forget.
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without something to measure success, money in this case. There is nothing that tells me, good keep doing that, nothing that tells me that wrong.
people tell me reguardless of wat i do that i'm wrong, so i'm looking at something measureable now for knowledge of satisfaction -
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nothing tells you wrong? nothing tells you right? oh honey, won't you at least try and see?
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great job, i love it, very well fiting the contest, good luck in it, ttyl
~DAX~
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thank you
I wrote it for this contest particularly
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