Trailers become art erasers
Rooftops - white dominoes
Sugar spilled out everywhere
Then cinnamon as far
as the eye could see.
And that mystical point
where earth meets sky
and they both
disappear
...together.
Bow ties..lush and green,
Pac-Man eating cherries
where the earth puckers
and seams itself
into mountains and valleys.
I have never seen
such magic before.
Fences you can see
right through.
Moonlight on snow
breeds such deep silence.
The rhythmic breathing of horses
as snow flies from their hooves,
so ready in the morning
just to move.
They know the sound
of water under ice
Nod their heads as if to say
that now I'll know it, too.
How I wanted you to see this.
Steam rising off their flanks
on the coldest moonlit night.
How well one sleeps under the stars.
So deep and dreamless
How I wanted you to feel that too
Among wild painted ponies in the mist.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
*love*
My goodness with everyone of yours I read it just gets better and better. You are an amazing talent and this poem shows such thought out precision. A unique piece here. Vivid imagery and metaphors through out it. Almost mesmerizing with it's steady flow. Thanks so much for sharing
Becky
-
Hi, Apparition. Strong opening stanza on this one. Blurred, just right, which sets the theme for the rest of the poem. Great use of metaphor in that dominoes hint of both static and dynamic, depending on this readers mood. Then, white to tan to horizon. "Trailers to art erasers"... awesome.
Mystical points- A place to rest the eye and getting the pleasure of seeing more. Such a well thought out progression through the second stanza.
By the third, the fun of this one accelerates. Motions continue, as does the static sounding board. After such wonderful colors and shapes, my eye draws to the mystical seam and a welcomed haven.
Your more, I'm thinking, familiar invitation to the reader starts at the declarative, "I have..." stanza. Stillness, and collection of sound for this reader starts here. Rest is welcomed, as is the rest of the poems theme/title well taken up by you. Mist, colour and continuation draws the poem to a close, but it remains open, which I think is your ultimate intention.
Painted ponies always remind me of the song by, ahhh... I forget. Ya know the one, "Spinning wheels... " lots of horns, ahhh. I still forget. lol
Thanks for an enjoyable read, and looking forward to reading more poems by you. ~Clay.
-
this breathes "harmony" of creature and nature and oneness. Wish I could have seen and felt this as well. I loved lines 20 and 21 (such a peaceful visual)
reenie
-
Excellent.
-
How wonderful ...
you sketched this picturesque poem until it moves with the painted ponies into a lovely aquarelle of mist and stars ...
You've written a lovely piece, Gal.
Love
Myra
-
There really is magic such as this in the world. Sometimes it is found on cold winter mornings and, sometimes, on warm summer nights and in every other moment in every other day. You just have to let your mind be open to seeing it and your soul open to feeling it. A nice ending, but it was really the end of P6 that did it for me...
-
The ending line is perfect.Beautiful imagery and it makes me want to go walk which i will soon.I haven't read you in a while and this was a lovely piece.
~Helen
-
And so I did feel what you felt, perhaps a slightly different image in my mind, but entralled just the same. Wish I could be there - that's why you wrote this (Just for me)
Wally
-
dang...my comment vanished half way through...grrr
It must now like superlong commenting today...
As I was saying in a now condensed form... simply lovely imagery, well painted, reminding me of a picture I once saw of horses in moonlight about to cross a river.
Have a lovely and happy holiday season.
Hugs...Eddy
-
What a pretty picture you've painted. I can only assume it's in the southwest part of the country. Where horses are still allowed to run free. It seems you've experienced that magical oneness with nature too. Excellent work. I really enjoyed the read.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
