I was always wondering where you were
You never seemed to be around.
Crowned up on the high hill;
Finally, I chance a rebound.
Although my vision is still in a blur,
I just have to wait until...
Will you come;
Take me away,
There's no reason to move on.
Dawn comes up and though I try to defer
It gets to me, beauty profound
The sun will try to instill;
Still mornings and silence are found.
Though where you are is still one big blur,
I look past the windmill.
'Till there's some
Rustling of hay,
What is entering the lawn?
Brawn and courage; I sight never been seen-
Between the bushes, my knight so serene.
Author notes
Okay, so I'm supposed to explain this, and even if I wasn't I probably would have anyway.
This is sort of a fairy tale. The narrator(me) was taken away, supposed to be married to the prince and she didn't want to. So she had been waiting for the one she really loved to come save her, but had almost given up hope and tried to move on.
This is written like a letter, or a plea to the one who she wants to save her, saying she's almost giving up even though she doesn't want to.
The dawn is a symbol of hope, a new beginning, so I used it as a setting for this, as seeing her love reinstates her hope.
I used the word instill in this poem with it's definition "To impress by frequent repititions" The dawn always comes, it will always come again.
Things will get better, then worse, then better again.
Comments
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I just have to wait until...
this line should hold six syllables not seven.
It gets to me, beauty profound
The sun will try to instill;
- here in thiss ection, profound/the sun - they should be rhyming, as you have in the first verse.
The sun will try to instill;
- this should be six syllables not seven.
ah now you are using the internal rhyme - it should be the lines before.
Though where you are is still one big blur,
- this line should be ten syllables not nine.
Brawn and courage; I sight never been seen-
- i sight... maybe a sight...
and that's about it lol
was this in a contest of mine? i do not recall it.
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i think you could make this into a story, this is great you have done a great job on this keep it flowing
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