We’ve been going out for two months
and we haven’t
kissed or
held hands or
ever one touched each other.
(And we couldn’t keep our
hands to ourselves even if
we tried.)
But we have whispered in each other’s ears
through copper and strings
stretched across the earth.
[Crows perch on our telephone lines,
black against the static white sky.
I wait for the day
when we can kill them all
and run away.]
We have
sent thoughts to each other—
ESP, IM—
and smiled alone
at glass screens.
Somehow through this cold vacuum
we have managed to break through
to the heart.
Ironic?
But icicles, cold,
are beautiful too.
And they make rainbows when they melt.
Author notes
Yayness!
CONTEST: The poem's about my lovely girlfriend, who lives long distance from me. D: The "copper and strings" and "ESP, IM" refer to telephone conversations and our little semi-psychicness (XD) we have sometimes, and conversations on Instant Messenger. The "Crows perch on our telephone lines, /
black against the static white sky", etc lines refer to some of our cell phone conversations in which it's hard to hear each other, or we're around our parents and have to be careful what we say to each other while still having a conversation; the wish to kill the crows is a wish to be able to speak freely without these problems and having to censor our conversations. "Glass screens" are computer screens; "Somehow through this cold vacuum / we have managed to break through / to the heart" is about the common skepticism about internet relationships, and how we've somehow overcome that; and rainbows of course are the gay pride symbol things. =D
A contest entry
- Forbidden Love by --Beautiful--.
323 points, ended December 22, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Oh yes, please DO tell me what you think. :] Are there any ways that I could improve upon this? Any places that seemed pretentious or confusing or anything?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Yay!!!! POEM FROM MY DEAREST ERICA LYNN!! I Like It Alot, It Seems To Me To Portray The Dificult-ness Of Long Distance Relationships, With The Added Hardship Of Having It A, Started Online Behind Parents Backs, And B., Gay. Though I Wouldn't Know The Troubles Because I've Never Been In Such A Situation. I Am Proud Of You For Overcomming Whatever Problems You Face Though!!! Remember, I Love Thee Dearly!
-Miss Lady September- -
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Awh, thank you!!! And holy crap, this comment was left a long time ago...APPARENTLY AP no longer notifies me when I get a comment... >/ D: that sucks...I wonder if there's still a way to change it, cos I used to get notifications.... 
and I can't keep missing your comments like this!!
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EXCELLENT!
YAH!!! Lady E this was fabulous!! I'm happy for you both!!!I really wish you two could see eachother and not have to just talk online and on the phone, maybe someday. I love the "copper and strings" line. Merry Christmas by the way and Happy New Year too! I'll be seeing you in the Block @ school!!
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Gracias!
Awh, thank you so much Marisa!! ^^ Yeah, we plan on doing a road trip around the country after we graduate our senior year...XD But since we can't stand waiting those 2 years, we're trying to get my parents to let me fly to her place for Spring Break (unfortunately, ours and hers only overlap 3 days...
) this year. =D
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o.o
*sighs* I had to review this, there was no way I couldn't. I'm not trying to be mean, or rude, but now I'm a bit upset. >-< -
Scrumdidilyumcious (I swear that just popped in my head ;xD)
mwhaha, Rei-Rei's poetry: My anti-drug (y'know, that is so 2000 << ) I was thinking about this one last night... of how I'm SoOoOo glad we have something between our RT... coz we would have been dating for more than 2 years and not have even truely looked into eachother's eyes... while other couples have played the "Most fun places to have sex" game. ;xDD yeah. the whole "[Crows perch on our telephone lines,-when we can kill them all
and run away.]" made me think of the bird/slingshot incident <<;;
WOO FOR OUR LOVE!!!
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<33333333333333!!
xDD
That was in 2000? <<; Pfsh, like I remember. XD People -still- use it anyway.
Most fun places to have sex game!! XXXDDDDDD *claps*
@.@ ....What bird/slingshotincident? DXX YOU NEVER TOLD MEEE!!!
>>; Or I coulda forgotten too....;xDD -
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.: PoUnCeS :.
..did I tell you? o.o; ..um.. it mighta been with the whole cat torture thing <<; possibly..
the one where alex went inside to do somethingerother and grace and me were on the... teeter toter thing.. and there was a bird on the phone line connecting to their houseeeee. and I had a slingshot >>; yah.
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GREAT
Thank you so much for joining my contest and thank you for you comments on your work it helps me so much to know what it means to you. I love the fact that you have overcome the distance in your relationship. I feel as if i know you already and i like that. The one thing i wasn't sure about was the gay pride part but that is my personal views and i won't get those in the way of my contest i'm happy for you cause love is wonderful! Good luck in the contest. -
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Thank you!
You said "The one thing i wasn't sure about was the gay pride part but that is my personal views and i won't get those in the way of my contest"....Do you mean you didn't understand the part, or you don't agree with people being gay? [I'm not gay, by the way, just bi...but anyway...]xD Cos if it's the former reason, I could try to clarify whatever you're confused about...If you even are confused.
<33
~ [eRi]ca ~
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