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The General Theory

 

__________________________________________ 

 

 

 

 G_{ab} + \Lambda\ g_{ab} = \kappa\, T_{ab}

 

Ours is the physics of decay,
of entropy and of chaos --
the fate that awaits
the collapse of dying stars.

Would that we could measure
all our twists and rebounds
by the angles we sweep
into the infinite midnight.

As a quark and a lepton
pirouette through time
each unaware one another
perfects God’s exacting plan,

so too do we often ignore
the urgent movements
by which aureate suns
implode with weighty surrender.

 

Vectors to catseyes of emerald --

propulsions to clusters of diamond -- 

each are invisible arrows

borne with indeterminate cause.

 

Perhaps some geometries bank for loss,
or maybe whirl toward wonder;
I only know our immediate paths
accelerate to uneasy oblivion.

 

 

/

/

/

 

(C) 2006

 

Author notes

The equation at the top of the poem is Einstein's alternate form for the gravitational field equations that underpin his general theory of relativity (i.e. the equations establishing the curvature of space and time that are the source for such scientific events as Black Holes and gravitational lenses).

The value Lambda represents the cosmological constant which Einstein believed was necessary to avoid a conclusion that the universe is expanding -- a value he later discarded when he learned of Hubble's empirical evidence of a red shift (and hence "Big Bang") to the universe. In the past decade, further observation of the possible accelerating expansion of the universe, which suggests more than just a Big Bang, has led many physicists to reconsider whether Einstein may originally have had the concept of a cosmological constant right after all. That is so because the constant is simply a real number and hence can be "positive" so as to produce negative energy that explains the acceleration.

That has nothing to do with this poem, however....

Still considering edits.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 99 of 111     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • DesolatELifE
    August 13

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    'perfects God’s exacting plan,' - My brother's wife brought a load of Christian people into this shop the other day and had them bless it. Since then, it has been even worse than before. Irrelevant, that's for sure.
    I'm not a lover of poems that aren't full of formy rhymey business, but this was nice enough. I like the ending. I usually find it is good to end something in an opinion that's almost beyond contestation. Creates a reason to wonder, and thoughts are sparse these days.


  • SwaGGtastic
    February 9

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    Great Write

    this is really nice.. i had to read it twice but i enjoyed it both times..


    • NoIQ gold member
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I really appreciate your visit to my work.


  • Sheli silver member
    October 6, 2008
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    STUNNINGLY BRILLIANT!

    i do not know what else to say, but, WOW!


    • NoIQ gold member
      February 1
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      I apparently overlooked this lovely comment too. Again, my apologies that you are receiving my thanks so late. Those thanks are sincere, though.


      • Sheli silver member
        February 1

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        Hey, no problem! This way I got to come back and reread the poem to see what I had commented on, and I loved it all over again! You are quite welcome!


        • NoIQ gold member
          February 1
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          LOL. Well good, because by doing so I finally got to increase your "star count."


  • Peteskid gold member
    June 5, 2008

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    I like the blend allusion to astrophysical phenomenon and quantum physics theories...i enjoy the allusion to strings... so much better in the philosophy of existence would be a place of wonder, a ploace where everypne gazed into depths of time and space and felt the enormity of the challenge of life and knowledge and how little time we have to reach out for it...excellent work here...PK


    • NoIQ gold member
      June 5, 2008
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      Well thank you very kindly for the visit to my work, Peteskid. Even outside of poetry, I love astrophysics and quantum theory, actually (at certain levels, like the Big Bang theory, there is no real division in the disciplines).

      Your own observations and thoughts about the subject of the poem are much appreciated.


      • Peteskid gold member
        June 5, 2008
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        It is a hobby of mine astrophysics, quantum theory, deep space objects and remote exploration... i fixated on the theory of time...

        I thought the Big Bang of course was a mistake as theory of beginnings of the Universe but was a useful point in discourse towards more testworthy models, i simply noted how theorists drifted quietly away - paradigm shifted- and it became an event a rapid expansion of something that might have existed, so we change and grow but the sense of wonder is the thing that might add so much to the way we live...thanks...PK


  • madilin101
    May 6, 2008
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    wow nicely wrote


  • funpum
    May 6, 2008

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    I enjoyed this. I've been reading about the theory that we are just one of an infinite number of parallel universes, each of which might expand into another at any moment -we might be expanding into someone else's right now and 'disappearing' our counterparts...

    It's all so extraodinary, and there's nothing we can do about any of it.


    • NoIQ gold member
      May 6, 2008
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      Thank you funpum. Yes, that sounds like the "many universe" theory of quantum physics. It's one of the more interesting theorems in quantum that has been postulated, and has been particularly embraced with enthusiasm by the Science Fiction community. For instance, Michael Crichton's "Timeline" was premised on the theory.

      In any event, I am delighted you visited my poem. Thank you so much for the great comment!

  • Shannon
    April 26, 2008
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    Oh, and I forgot to add...with all those wonderful people this poem made me think of: Ashbery, Meredith, Milton, etc., it also made me think of a line from one of my own poems, in fact. Something I wrote back in December. lol

    Does God create a grid for the emotions; is it a mad man’s desire to control / the world?

    However, my poem was much more pedestrian.

    • NoIQ gold member
      April 28, 2008
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      None of your poems are ever "pedestrian."

  • Shannon
    April 26, 2008
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    per your author's note "the universe is expanding" I just couldn't stop laughing because I just watched Annie Hall last night. "What does that have to do with you doing your homework?" "but it's all pointless!" "Brooklyn's not expanding...it won't expand for a couple thousand years"

    I think I commented on this once, but it was somewhere along the lines of "Oh, um, yeah, nice poem" because for some unknown godly reason, I used to be intimidated by you. Either that or ambivalent, or somewhere in between.

    and I'm not even going to attempt to read the plethora of comments below me.

    You're a very intelligent writer. I mean, it almost boarders on the "exclusion" line in that the poem may, in fact, be so intelligent that it excludes the general reader. But, you know how they say some people are a poet's poet...I think you're a Mensa's poet. lol Not really. But close.

    On that note: John Ashbery once said that "a poem that communicates something that's already known to the reader is not really communicating anything to him and shows a lack of respect for him"

    You certainly do not do this. The poem is presenting a rather complex idea about the state of being, interacting, meaning, order...and yet, it avoids telling the reader what they already know (or don't know, but question) and instead, presents the questioning in a way that makes the reader examine it in a new light. When the poem suddenly seems to open itself up to us...and this (I find anyway) occurs mostly in the heavily layered, condensed, (some would call them difficult) poems. But this is only once there's some time, patience, distance -- when we stop asking the poem to perform some service or fill some need and just let the poem speak for itself. In a way, your poetry seems to almost demand just that, which is a good thing.

    William Meredith said that the "reason for a poem is apt to be one of the revelations attendant on its making." Frost, along the same lines, said "No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader" and, I think, this poem does well to prove both statements....there is no evidence of the ego questioning, yet it's full of questions; the poem stands alone, without even a hint at "signature" (to use your aunts idea). And to explore a complicated subject matter as this poem does, these elements are pretty much necessary.

    Every poem should surprise us with our capacity for change, new responses, etc. And this one did that in spades for me. I read this through a number of times, and each time I was able to pull something else from it, some new idea about fate, chaos, order. It's endless. Like Milton's chaotic universe. Control within that chaos and yet somewhere in that cosmos "God’s exacting plan." Like each human needing one another, hurdling ourselves into these cut-outs we call lives, we "whirl toward wonder," toward one another.

    Reminds me of a poem by Mark Doty "A Display of Mackerel" about how, like a school of fish on ice, "not a one in any way / distinguished from the other" instead: "all exact expressions / of one soul." Because this poem, with it's "physics of decay" reiterates that point, don't you think?

    Doty said "All attempts to console ourselves are doomed, because the world is more complicated than we are."

    And it's definitely more complicated than a Monte poem.

    Yes. I am this committed to poetry that this is what I do on Saturday nights. Dammit, I will get my MFA, PhD, et al, some day.

    Thanks for being smart. It gives me something to do.


    • NoIQ gold member
      April 28, 2008

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      Thanks for being smart. It gives me something to do.

      You kidding me?! After a comment like that, and you're thanking me for being smart???!!!! LOLOL That's one of the most amazing comments I ever have received since participating on this site, and I have been blessed with many phenomenal critiques. Thank you so much for sharing such a splendid reflection of your remarkable intellect.

      I would not call myself a "Mensa poet." More like a fool who from time-to-time attempts to pen something that appeals to his convictions. I certainly am not prepared to have my writing compared to the genius of John Ashberry, William Merideth, Milton or Robert Frost. LOL I think my progeny is more appropos of Hallmark cards.

      Thank you you so much for such an absolutely incredible comment. I mean it -- thank you!

      • Shannon
        April 28, 2008

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        Seriously. It's the same pleasure I get having to write a critical response essay. I miss being challenged intellectually; responding to your work affords me the opportunity to bring the ideas of Ashberry, Meredith, et cetera, into conversation with my own thoughts and your writing. So really, thank YOU.


  • bw43
    April 25, 2008

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    your author comments made me chuckle. this gigantic explanation... and then the last line about it having nothing to do with your poem. LoL. Still wondering if that was sarcastic or serious...

    your "General Theory" is quite interesting... I enjoyed reading this. (very pretty vocabulary)

    so anyway, i will tell you what i grasped from it, and if you like... you can tell me how I'm wrong.

    to me, it sounds like it is just about the wondering of how the universe turns and people go on without ever knowing everything... and when they die they are eventually forgotten.. and now i feel like i have no idea what i'm talking about so i will stop typing now. But I enjoyed reading it.

    congratulations on the bronze.


    • NoIQ gold member
      April 25, 2008
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      The poem is wholly intended to include various interpretations, that are inter-related at a metaphorical level. Yours is not inaccurate at all -- though there was perhaps more of an existential element that I was attempting to capture. However, I also fully intended originally to allow the reader to see in the poem the relationships we share with others -- hence the use of plurals throughout. I see how the uncertainty in the potential disintegration of relationship mirrors the uncertainty in our own fates. And yet, at the foundation of both are laws and beauty, much as the universe while chaotic, nonetheless exhibits elegant laws of physics and glorious beauty even in its most destructive environments.

      Anyway, that was what I was after at the time -- I read it now and wonder ... LOLOL

      Thank you so much for the great comment.


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    April 25, 2008

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    Again this is another subject in which I feel a scientific daze coming over me.
    What I can appreciate here very much so, is the reference to manifest expressions of stupefying magnificence and splendour, in the constant change of relativity. It's wonderful to have such invitation as this, to even just paddle ones mind in the shallow end.
    '... by which aureate suns
    implode with weighty surrender.'

    The general way I usually hold all this in my simplistic understanding is:
    A sky of planets, sky of moving stars, a sky of fixed stars and a sense of non-relativity 'beyond', in which all is reconciled, rather than just staying with a vision of entropy.

    It's wonderful to read such an expression, rich in the wonderful scientific language of explanation, but still serving to point to the beauty of its 'object's' mystery and particularities. I much enjoyed this along with the notes. Thank you, Sol


    • NoIQ gold member
      April 25, 2008
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      Well thank you very much. It's very much my honor to have someone like yourself simply peruse my work here. Your comment is exceedingly gracious, and I assure you very much appreciated.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 2, 2008
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    Another brilliant piece poet.


    • NoIQ gold member
      April 3, 2008
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      Again, thank you so much for the view and praise. It is such a reward to entice a visit to my works from poets like yourself.


  • poetryality silver member
    March 26, 2008
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    I knew I'd commented here before. LOL


    • NoIQ gold member
      March 26, 2008
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      lolol - yep, you did But it's always a delight to receive a comment from you -- even again.


  • poetryality silver member
    March 26, 2008
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    I love to be educated and entertained in one setting. Thank you Monte my friend. I suspect it's been far too long since my last peek at where you mind might be. The Art of Science or is it The Science of Art? Hmmm...Einstein, and all!

    "Would that we could measure
    all our twists and rebounds
    by the angles we sweep
    into the infinite midnight."


    First off; "would that we could" is most poetic. ~Sigh~

    I am a firm believer of the Oneness in all things. You have it here. Einstein had it, Moses, Gandhi, Jesus, Horus, King, and Queen, layman, and common folk...

    I always leave your poetry with so much to think on that it's extremely hard for me to focus on another poem for a while. Even my own. LOL


    This is as Poetic Poetry as Poetry gets!

    All My LOVE ♥

    Renee




    • NoIQ gold member
      March 26, 2008
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      ROFLMAO -- Renee, you do know you won the contest this poem was originally entered in, don't you? Not that I am any less delighted by your comment, but I nearly spit out laughing the glass of wine I had before me when I signed on and read this. I distinctly recall your supurb piece richly deserved the accolades the hostess accorded. And you left an equally gracious comment earlier

      I DO really appreciate the delightful comment, though, and re-visit to my work. That was then, and again is now, my true reward.


  • Stats
    August 21, 2007

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    Coooool as space

    would that we could measure
    all our twists and bounds
    ( and generally fall to bits trying ) which is where i relate to this. Testing the untestable with theory that isn't usually based on sound thinking. Great piece kiddo.


    • NoIQ gold member
      August 21, 2007
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      Well thank you kindly Stats. I myself enjoyed reading your own excellent piece earlier.


  • JustBe gold member
    August 16, 2007
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    Jeepers!

    You get commentary from everyone! I even saw Kevin himself on your thread; that's a first, and I've been a member for almost 2 years now.
    There are several things I like about this poem. Firstly, I'll always be a champion of a poem that joins science and art at the hip, because I believe they are just two aspects of the same idea:
    1. Observe beauty
    2. Relate
    3. Find meaning
    4. Communicate

    Too sad, I think, that even artists are beginning to forget that step 1 is the most fundamental of the lot, and (I think) should be treated as such.
    Secondly, especially considering that this poem is built around ideas that spring forth from a tensor construct, it's pretty impressive that it's so accessible. People say that this hurts the head, but really it's pretty tame, and I think you've done a marvelous job of speaking of science in a way that is not beyond the layperson, and have not been exceedingly verbose in doing so.

    I always have to whine about something, but you don't leave a whole lot to bitch about here. Came up with this much:

    1. They are elegant English, but "Would that" and the " too do" in "So, too, do we ..." clash a little bit with the surrounding wording. One of the biggest pluses about this piece is that you have boiled down ideas to what is essential about them. It's just a question of style, but I think you want to stay as far away from "bookish" as you can get. It makes the leptons and vectors less intimidating.

    2. This reads kind of prose-y, and I agree with Kevin that the parallels you draw here would come out more clearly if you were to nix some pronouns, articles, etc. I also think doing so would be challenging if you want to adhere to quatrain, considering the interconnectedness of your stanzas. Therefore, I am being vague and not at all helpful in writing this part of my review.

    3. Spelling:
    S5L4: "borne" (infinitive: "to bear [weight]") should probably be "born" (infinitive: "to bear," syn. "to be birthed")
    S6L2: "whorl" is spelled "whirl."

    On the whole, I rate this nifty. There are not many who can play for both teams, but I love reading that shit.


    • NoIQ gold member
      August 16, 2007
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      The detail and thought of this comment and critique are deeply appreciated. I agree with the proposed edits re the formal English and the proseyness, and will give thought how to best incorporate them. I wrote this poem so long ago that it is fascinating to re-think the composition with the benefit of time. I now understand why so many accomplished poets make substantial revisions to their works even after publication in well-regarded reviews. This definitely should be improved in the ways you suggest.

      Two amusing issues: (1) "borne" is intended to imply the carrying, and to pun off of "born." It takes a physicist like yourself to understandably look at the introductory noun "arrows" and recognize immediately their relationship to temporal vectors in the context of what was being described. In this one instance, though, arrows also was a deliberate metaphor, and hence the use of "borne" because they are carried with cause, not carrying it (I think with another read you'll capture the intended metaphor, given that you correctly understood the doubled/punned one).

      (2) Until your comment, I thought "whorl" also could be a verb. I know it's a noun for curled shape. However, you're quite right. I looked it up and it is only a noun. You learn something new every day -- thank you!

      Anyway, that was a marvelous critique/comment, and hugely appreciated. The efforts of those like yourself to improve the works of others is why I stay around here.


      • JustBe gold member
        August 16, 2007

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        Yup, totally missed the born/borne thing, and you are right, and I am a bit surprised that both connotations did not, as you say, move more in the 1024 X 768-direction for me.

        With regard to reviewing your poem, it was a pleasure. Well-rendered, intelligent art always has something really excellent sitting beneath it, and I have constantly learned more about writing in the act of attempting to more clearly see that. You've made it pretty transparent here, so I mostly just read selfishly.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    August 13, 2007

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    The language used within this is thought provoking,each of us has only so many tools in the tool box and the poet has a splendid set of tools,the building of the poem,the foundation and the exit door were all constructed well,indeed whether we implode via the chaos theory or the theory not so much of relativity but whether manking seeks a self fulfilling prophecy via the relative harm he causes either by action or inaction we are hurtling towards a date with destiny.


    • NoIQ gold member
      August 13, 2007
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      That is a wonderful comment -- thank you kindly Miss2U. All language can be thought-provoking, whether rooted in choice of vocabulary or with choice of image. William Carlos Williams made the simplest image and choice of words carry enormous emotional and intellectual impact. I also agree our choices often define the path to chaos or to self-enlightenment. However, that is just an acknowledgement that in the end, we're all human with human foibles. The best we can hope for is to see through our mistakes, in an attempt to achieve a common goal of societal and personal advancement.


  • vaseline
    August 11, 2007
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    ouch my brain


    • NoIQ gold member
      August 11, 2007
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      I've read enough of your poetry to know you're way to bright to say "ouch my brain."


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    August 3, 2007

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    STUNNING!!!

    STUNNING!!!!!!!!
    I LOVE IT!! I CAME INTO THIS READ WITH A CERTAIN SCEPTISM THINKING IT WOULD BE TOO 'HIGH BROW.' YET I AM AMAZED BY IT. WONDERFUL WRITING AND WORDS USED HERE. MORE PLEASE

    ALL THE BEST
    WAYNE


  • Kevin Moderators member
    July 31, 2007

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    angles they swept -> are you referring to the dying stars? prounouns suck

    'As a quark and a' -> maybe just 'A quark and'.. reads more like an introduction, which I was hoping for.

    'might' -> just make them pirouette

    'that the other' -> 'the other'

    awesome 4th verse, and too true

    indeterminite felt too long to me, maybe just 'unknown'? But I'm being picky.

    'to an uneasy' -> 'toward an uneasy'? I'd hate to feel that we're there already + there is nothing we can do to slow those circles down...

    Beautiful work with this!

    Someone needs to add some more poetry, yummy!


    • NoIQ gold member
      July 31, 2007
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      lol -- it has been months since I looked at this. Your proposed edits and critique are excellent, and the changes are now more obviously needed as a result of the time that passed. Particularly that comment about pronouns -- I couldn't agree more. Thank you so much. I'm implementing the edits immediately.


  • Jaden silver member
    July 30, 2007
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    This appeals to my cerebral side . . . quite a bit, as a matter-of-light-energy fact.


    • NoIQ gold member
      July 31, 2007
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      Well thank you very kindly. I am not sure I have a cerebral side anymore. The Irish side in me has made Guinness and my brain cells at war, and Guinness is winning. Seriously, thank you very much for the visit.


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    July 10, 2007

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    dude...
    you are such a nerd
    lol
    I always did poor in math.. great in science...
    and yet this is still over my head.
    Ultimately I got that we are just responsible for only ourselves...
    eh but that is just where i went
    Take care and hope all is well


  • The Burning Year
    April 22, 2007
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    so thats the word..."impure"..whats that book
    "The Tropic Of Capricorn"
    I heard it was good..and my friend let me read a page...haha....and it is very

    "impure"
    to say the least
    I guess thats what I like most about certain writers..saying normal things and making them seem like they are god in the flesh with gold streaming from his eyes


  • g r e y i s m
    March 26, 2007

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    when I first began reading this, I had forgotten what I had been doing originally, as I have been doing many things on here.
    so at first I thought you were someone else (this person shall remain unnamed) and I thought "well they used to be quite clever, but what happened?"
    then I noticed this wasn't by the aforementioned unnamed person, but by you.
    I really liked this piece very much. I have always thought your name must've been an exercise in irony.

    best wishes

    Lea


  • Nam
    March 22, 2007

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    ... and here I was thinking "imperfect".


    Hey, look an em dash --> —

    I'd applaud this but I hate math. Or, "math" hates me? Whichever. Good piece, tho.


  • myrataal silver member
    February 27, 2007

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    No IQ yes I can see!

    I read up on some of the latest papers on the topic: "The expected stress-energy tensor of quantum fields generically violates the local positive energy conditions of general relativity. However, may satisfy some nonlocal conditions such as the averaged null energy condition (ANEC), which would rule out traversable wormholes. Although ANEC holds in Minkowski spacetime, it can be violated in curved spacetimes if one is allowed to choose the spacetime and quantum state arbitrarily, without imposition of the semiclassical Einstein equation G_{ab} = 8 pi . In this paper we investigate whether ANEC holds for solutions to this equation, by studying a free, massless scalar field with arbitrary curvature coupling in perturbation theory to second order about the flat spacetime/vacuum solution. We 'reduce the order' of the perturbation equations to eliminate spurious solutions, and consider the limit in which the lengthscales determined by the incoming state are much larger than the Planck length. We also need to assume that incoming classical gravitational radiation does not dominate the first order metric perturbation. We find that although the ANEC integral can be negative, if we average the ANEC integral transverse to the geodesic with a suitable Planck scale smearing function, then a strictly positive result is obtained in all cases except for the flat spacetime/vacuum solution. This result suggests --- in agreement with conclusions drawn by Ford and Roman from entirely independent arguments --- that if traversable wormholes do exist as solutions to the semiclassical equations, they cannot be macroscopic but must be 'Planck scale'. A large portion of our paper is devoted to the analysis of general issues concerning the nature of the semiclassical Einstein equation and of prescriptions for extracting physically relevant solutions."

    Interesting, not so? But, of course, this is not what this poem is about. If not about Love, what then this "big bang" every time I read your work? Seriously, for me the greatest wonder is two souls predestined to meet and to touch for such a short eternity, witnessed by all visible and invisible matter surrounding them, in celebration of that exact moment captured in time when they first kiss.

    Well, this must be the most boring comment I ever posted, and hopefully not the most confusing, too.

    All I wanted to say was: congratulations on your trophy, M, and fun in orbit.

    Love
    Myra

  • seriea89
    February 7, 2007

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    Brilliant work! I like the incorporation of the mathematical and scientific worlds into poetry, though I am useless at both physics and at math (perhaps a connection between the two) heh, anyway, The only issues I have at all with this write are some of wording. The last stanza to me lets down the brilliance of the rest of the poem. I would consider rewording "maybe" with "perchance", as by doing so you create a continuity with the first line of the stanza. I feel also that line three might carry better poetically if it was worded "I know only" as opposed to "I only know" As for the last line of the stanza I would suggest/consider changing it to "accelerate toward uneasy oblivion" for several reasons, the word "an" clashes a little with "uneasy" when you read the poem, the phonics break a little bit. The last stanza of this poem, I interpret is meant to serve as a sort of open ended conclusion, and by re wording the last line to read "toward" you once again connect back to yourself earlier in the stanza, which makes it feel more conclusive to the reader! I honestly am having to be extremely picky to find much wrong with this poem! Nice work! I look forward to reading your future pennings!


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    January 20, 2007

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    Ours is the physics of decay,
    of entropy and of chaos --
    the fate that awaits
    the collapse of dying stars.

    that is pure poetry..

    and I don't really care if you agree.. or you don't..


    • NoIQ gold member
      January 22, 2007
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      Well, thank you most kindly Liza. I tend to try and write "impure" poetry, though


  • poetryality silver member
    December 30, 2006

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    I just got a splendid taste of culture, mathematics, physics, and art...all wrapped in a nice ethereal package with a flamed red bow. This is a gift to all that inhale the essence of each specified stanza.


    BRILLIANT!


    "Would that we could measure
    all our twists and rebounds
    by the angles they swept
    into the infinite midnight."


    The above cleverly written stanza makes me sigh! A very worthy entry Monte.

    CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WIN!

    May it be that you encounter angels with blessings in hand, freely giving all that you desire (even Paris) in the year 2007, and beyond.


    Always Lovingly ♥

    Reneé


    • NoIQ gold member
      January 2, 2007
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      Well I believe the congratulations that are in order are more appropriately directed to you Renee, not me. As I mentioned previously in my comment to your own poem, it was outstanding and quite deserving of the trophy bestowed by Kimmie. I am nonetheless honored by your extremely gracious comment above. The reward for me was simply having you drop by to read.


  • truembrace
    December 30, 2006

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    This is quite the weaving of art, poetic language and science. It would seem as though I've been indulged by the language in this and also feeling as though you've twisted some words, had the unexpected use of some that is, that had me thinking, "such a great piece!".

    Such a perfect poem for the contest and quite the explanation to bring us into a greater understanding of the piece and its greater relevance.

    Thanks so much for this!

    Kimmie


    • NoIQ gold member
      January 2, 2007
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      Thank you so much Kimmie. I have been out of town the last few days, or I would have responded much sooner. I am deeply flattered both by your gracious comment, and also by the commendation you were kind enough to bestow upon me. It was a pleasure participating in the contest. Thank you so much again.


  • Saffron gold member
    December 27, 2006

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    Monte,

    I wish I could leave a comment as eloquent as your writing here, but since I have the flu, please accept my hit-and-run applause and know that I like this one very much

    Saffron


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 28, 2006
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      Well "hit-and-run applause" as generous as yours is more than enough of a comment Saffron. Thank you so much for the compliment! And I am delighted to see you drop by.

      Nice belly dancer there, by the way


  • Heart Sutra
    December 27, 2006
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    This one is still awesome.


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 28, 2006
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      lol -- well, I don't know if it's still "awesome," but at least it is still here and still being edited

      Thank you again Zayra


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 26, 2006

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    I do not know a thing about science, but I do know that Einstein's theory was said to be true after all. I do know a little about poetry and wow, I am impressed at the many-layered quality of this weave of art and science you've penned here, Monte. And when I read such a display of the English language here, I know I am Afrikaans-speaking, lol!! Your poem is not only technically advanced, but it has a depth of spirituality embedded within it too. The opening line is so powerful and I admire the way you've managed to touch on both the scientific and the human elements of this universe, this time called life. Wonderful!

    ~ Nicolette


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 26, 2006
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      Thank you most kindly Nicolette. LOL - Trust me, you long ago demonstrated to me and anyone else who has ever had the pleasure of reading your poetry and inestimable talent that your command of English is every bit as grande as your command of Afrikaans. So that is to says your very gracious comment is deeply appreciated. I post here at AP with the hope from time to time that I might be read by someone of your own genius. It was, therefore, a great delight to read this comment this afternoon. Again, I am honored.

  • Gogetalife
    December 23, 2006

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    Excellent!

    Wow Monte, I thought you were a lawyer..I didn't know you are physics professor also ...by the way Einstein is one of my big heros and I wish I have as much synapses on my brain like he used to have..so I can come with another smart equation and maybe you can come up with new ideas for another cleaver poem..
    This was really an enchanting read..you always amaze me with your very smart ways of looking at very simple things..Im in awe again..great job


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 24, 2006
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      Thank you so much Arabian! Actually, I am the type of lawyer who deals with physics (i.e. an intellectual property attorney; I primarily work with engineers and scientists relating to patentable inventions). For that reason, Einstein also is one of my own heroes and hence makes for an easy source of poetic inspiration for me.

      I am delighted you visited my work, especially given your own scientific background and poetic skills. It was as always a pleasure to read your very generous comment. Again, thanks so much!


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    December 22, 2006
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    I keep coming back here.. and reading yours.. because you say so much that seems similar to my mucky attempts ..but you do it with so much more gleam....


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 22, 2006
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      Oh, I suppose my poem only seems to have "gleam" to it because in the proper light, even shit can possess a shiny luster

      Believe me I know. As a kid, being the youngest, it was always my responsibility to be the pooper scooper for our dogs (sigh)...


      • ArtFullyMe gold member
        December 22, 2006
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        okay true.. true, I can't argue that lol.. since I have a rather big dog.....and well you can take that one from there... lol..

        but.. you know.. I think it comes down to how tiqht you have to squint your eyes to see it..
        it's pretty tough to make shit sparkle with starlight..

        • NoIQ gold member
          December 22, 2006
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          Trust me -- we lawyers excel at bringing shit to light in any environment.


          • ArtFullyMe gold member
            December 22, 2006
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            haha... of that I have NO doubt...
            but the things you have to do to get it to...I surely can't even fathom


  • misselaineous
    December 22, 2006
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    scrummy...

    that last line sums it up perfectly


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 22, 2006
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      Well thank you so much Elaine! I haven't had a good "scrummy" comment in ages Have you ever thought what a great poetic word "scrummy" is. I mean, it rhymes with "yummie", "tummy," and "mummy" which are all great things (PARTICULARY "yummie tummy", my single favorite type of wasteline), though they also rhyme with "dummie" and "crummy" which is unfortunate. But I digress... Well, I digress except I am sort of now fixed on the thought of "scrummy yummy dummy tummy", and am wondering if it's too late to add that to my Christmas list... I mean after all, isn't that a poetic way to describe Jessica Simpson's belly button?

      ANYWAY, thank you so much for the visit and wonderfully generous comment


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    December 21, 2006
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    Well yes.. I clearly see Paris in here.. within those inevitable implosions .. of course I do have to wonder about the weight of suns, .. still I'm sure with a bit of creativity I can get that image ..

    the quark and lepton make such good representations for all things that come together and seperate.. I think.. as one never knows exactly where things end up, but the spin is a certainty inside smaller matters..

    I suspect many cosmologists are really creationists as they spend so much time worrying about the big bang at the beginning but... such is life..

    Seriously though.. you capture more than the obvious here, as you so often do, and say it with a style that is quite difficult to overlook..

    in the best of ways ..



    • NoIQ gold member
      December 22, 2006
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      Paris! No, no, no! Liza, it is SO unlikely you overlook how this is about BRITNEY. I mean, how can I make any more obvious her marriage to Kevin Federline than the lines "Ours is the physics of decay, / of entropy and of chaos"? That's not Paris. If it had been Paris, those lines would have been:

      "Ours is the physics of foreplay
      of 'enter me' and of 'of course'..."

      Surely YOU can see the difference? That and the fact that my entire second stanza is an homage to Britney's recent choice in panties (or lack thereof). Well, now wait, on second thought and further reflection I see that could be Paris too. So never mind...

      SERIOUSLY, you know how much I value your reviews of my work. Hell, I'm pretty sure that EVERYONE on this site treasures reviews of their poetry by you. So I am dutifully grateful and flattered by your extremely generous and thoughtful critique. It is such intellectual analysis that make this process of artistic composition worthwhile, and yours was a true delight to read. Thank you so much.


      • ArtFullyMe gold member
        December 22, 2006
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        oh I doubt it's everyone but thank you for such gracious praise..

        as for the work.. I wish I could give it the critique it deserves. You capture layers as you always do from the very first line ( which I wish I'd thought of.. )

        I see this on cosmic levels, on individual levels, and in the relationship of everything combined, which I suspect is why my attraction to physics is what it is.. especially in poetry..

        the mechanics are not cold, and not unapproachable.. because they are in the end .. at the root of all things..


        thank YOU..


        • NoIQ gold member
          December 22, 2006
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          Oh my pleasure. LOL -- I am not certain to what extent I am actually capturing as effectively as I want the "cosmic levels" you mention. I have edited and re-edited the penultimate stanza to death, and still am not certain I am satisfied. I guess that would be proof that my own poetic "mechanics" can, in fact, be "unapproachable."


          • ArtFullyMe gold member
            December 22, 2006
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            LOL

            well THAT I can relate to... I keep editing the one I have in the Bukowski contest ..with the hopes that I'll actually get to what it was I was trying to say


            • NoIQ gold member
              December 22, 2006
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              Yeah well, at least I have five days to solve my problems. Your contest is over... LOL.

              Thank God Kimmie didn't include with the Einstein quote contest that now common requirement that you not post until absolutely satisfied with your work. Otherwise I would have already DQ-ed myself LOL.


              • ArtFullyMe gold member
                December 22, 2006
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                I hope you don't mind me throwing out my two cents.

                but speed would work for
                accelerate... and create a great sound with uneasy ..


              • ArtFullyMe gold member
                December 22, 2006
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                Oh! nope, mine has been extended ( again ) or I would have wisely given up by now... lol
                of course if I keep going I might join you in the DQ game ... lol..

  • Shannon
    December 21, 2006
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    awesome. I have not read a new poem from you in a long time, but this more than makes up for it!


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 22, 2006
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      Now I know it was worthwhile to compose this piece, because I miss your visits Shannon. To receive one is entirely special. I hope the classwork, Texas and certain "Canadian amusements" are still keeping you entertained, warm and smiling this Holiday season. I also hope it will not be too long before you post another work of your own. Meanwhile, thank you so very much for the visit and the compliment. They are deeply appreciated, especially coming from you.


  • B2oH
    December 21, 2006

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    I find, personally, the language of science works well for exploring the human condition....since we measure all things known by formula and precise terms in order to know our place within the universe.

    Obviously you delve beyond the metaphor and apply it to one's relationship with other inertia-bound bodies within one's immediate sphere of confluence -- and this works exceptionally well.

    This particular piece operates on several levels (and I have no idea of which you are particularly pinpointing) -- whether it is the univeral "I" or the personal "I" and whether the oblivion is that of loss of self in another or loss of self in total....but no matter.


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 22, 2006
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      Now this is a great treat, because I so often notice you commenting on the works of a number of poets here who I also admire. To be visited myself is much appreciated.

      Then to receive as insightful an analysis of the subject matter in general, and of my work in particular, as you offer is deeply and sincerely appreciated. For one thing, you are the first to correctly conclude that there are multiple layers of subject matter I was/am attempting to juggle, which lays at the heart of the ongoing editing (and the frustrations the piece has been presenting). Indeed, there is a personal element also explored, that has less to do with "universal" wisdom and more to do with immediate individual circumstance. I am grateful you surmised as much, because I wondered if it was at all evident.

      Anyway Ohbi, I reiterate that I am genuinely grateful for your visit and sharing of observations. They make the effort at composition worthwhile.


  • Spiritual Nature
    December 21, 2006

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    Wow. The best thing I have read in a very long time. I was mesmerized because its so true. Loved your comment ons Einsteins gravational field equation. I adore Einstein. You hit a soft spot with me, because he is my personal hero. Great Job!!!


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 22, 2006
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      Thank you so much!

      Einstein also is a personal hero of mine -- not only for his unparalleled scientific achievements, but also for his contributions to modern human ethics. He was richly deserving of Time's award for Man of the Century, and his legacy is likely to remain undimmed for millenia.

      Anyway, your generous comment on my work is deeply appreciated. I am dutifully grateful for your taking the time to share your thoughts.

  • Galapagos
    December 21, 2006

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    i really enjoy current ideas of putting together science and spirituality. this has presence and the rush (or stealth) we create and sense through time


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      Well thank you most kindly Tipiti. Your generous comment is deeply appreciated.


  • Iohagh
    December 21, 2006

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    More paraselenic logic

    Darling

    You stretch my brain
    from your smart analysis
    by such incredible strain
    causing my mental paralysis.

    Still, I barely discern
    God communicates through mathematics
    something I have learned
    leading us to acrobatics.

    Smoosh

    Janet


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      Well, since you like pixie rhymes, here's my response Janet:

      Physics presents God's purest mind
      in His most wondrous form of art -
      whether in charms with which all quarks bind
      or through spins that neutrinos impart.

      Look across the bending arc of space,
      and you will witness the Big Bang's remnant light;
      for the science of gravity is always in chase
      of the proofs that humble the cosmos' own might.

      Eh, not the greatest. But I figured you might appreciate the effort...


  • Lord Merlynn
    December 21, 2006

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    Very well written and nice imagery. The word usage was exquisite. Quite a nice read, if a wee bit too short.

    ~Merlynn~


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      Thank you Merlynn. As mentioned in the author notes, I am considering further edits. Perhaps that will include lengthening it, as you suggest. Either way, I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Critiques like yours are always very welcome. Thank you again.


  • Cannonsfire
    December 21, 2006

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    Well I know now why Einstein always felt foreign to me at school, he writes in numbers and I much prefer your words to his mathmateical style. Enjoyed this piece.


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      Thank you very kindly Cannonsfire. I genuinely appreciate your taking the time to read my humble piece and share your thoughts.


  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    December 21, 2006

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    One of the great scientific debates these days orbits around this very thing, the question of the universe's expansion. Does it simply just stretch out further into oblivion, or does it have an end that we may be fast approaching? I think that if, as with your poem, we take a look at our own lives and society as a whole, we will see that we mimic the universe itself, although on an infinitesimal scale from it.

    I was wonder why all those Greek symbols were up there. Thanks for the author's notes, I don't think I would've survived without them.

    Sometimes, I wonder if we are simply allowing ego to shut down the esoteric information that comes seeping in at any given time to our intuitive selves. Have we become so complacent in ourselves that we fail to notice what is happening around us, both earthly and extraterrestrial? That, to me, seems the basis for your interesting poem, one I will have to wrap my mind around a bit more before I am able to digest it completely and give you a fitting synopsis.

    But where my lack of scientific perception fails, yours coruscates beyond measure.

    I hope the holidays treat you well, my friend.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      Hell, you deserve five stars for that comment simply for the first use I have ever seen in a critique of the great verb "corruscates" P Indeed, your whole comment is itself its own poem, and I would consider this piece a success regardless of its quality simply for its prompting of your wonderful insights and expressions above, Raven.

      I think the single greatest irony about Einstein's cosmological constant is not that it may be correct after all (when Einstein himself called it his greatest mistake after independently reviewing the evidence gleaned from Hubble's observations), but rather that it may prove to be correct and the core mathematical evidence of why the most recent calculations and observations suggest that the universe (counter-intuitively) appears to be accelerating.

      That's so, because Einstein originally incorporated the constant into his gravitational field equations because he assumed the universe was static, and that was the only way he could PREVENT a mathematical result that suggested the Big Bang. What absolutely no one conceived for almost 80 years is that the constant also could explain the most counter-intuitive astronomical observation of all time -- namely, that the universe's expansion appears to be speeding up. We'll see if future observations continue to point to that result. To me, it may be the greatest philosophical and astronomical observation of the century.

      ANYWAY, I absolutely love that comment Raven. Thank you again so much for the great insights, and the sharing of your own wonderful and considerable poetic intellect.


  • Heart Sutra
    December 21, 2006

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    This is an excellent submission for a poetry magazine. Astropoetica.com

    There is so much I could say about this poem and how much I love poetry about or to do with this very subject (s) in all of its metaphorical and scientific glory.

    It is not often I will read a poem more than once on the board...for more than one reason...but I did read this one a couple of times and bookmarked it.

    It is beautiful. It is good to read your poetry again and your lastest stack of words seems even more moving than the works that came before them.


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      LOL -- I actually thought at first that you were teasing me with the reference to Astropoetica.com, and that I was actually going to find a site devoted to poetry about the Jetsons' dog...

      Boy, there's actually a LOT of Astropoetica poetry -- not to mention photography. LOL OK, call me a dunce.

      Thank you so much for the very, very gracious comment Zayra. I sincerely am not sure this piece is worthy of a bookmark by someone of your supreme talents, but boy is that flattering to say the least. It was, however, my very intent to leave the poetry in a state where the reader would (hopefully) consider reading it more than once to grasp its attempted nuances.

      Your comment is deeply appreciated -- I really mean that. Thank you so much!

      Now, you can enter the contest yourself (Kimmie would be ecstatic) and teach us all what real Astropoetica is like. Or at least write the most memorable poem ever about the Jetsons


  • jantastic gold member
    December 21, 2006

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    I'm not even going to read the author's comment right now. I'm sure it is full of interesting information. But I'm enjoying basking in the poetry right now. This is a voice I recognize and enjoy reading from you.


    • NoIQ gold member
      December 21, 2006
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      Actually, as I mention at the end of my author comments, they have nothing to do with the poem -- they're just me "showing off" about the relevance of what Einstein once described as his "greatest mistake," and which now, as one might have expected where Einstein is concerned, appears not to have been a mistake at all

      ANYWAY, thank you so much for the visit Jan! I love it when one of my favorites like you appears to say hello and read The comment is as always greatly appreciated.

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