Verse one
How can I relate
With no truth in life
Fear has me cocooned
Within all the world's strife
Wishing for something else
I'm stuck looking upon
The unknown darkness
Making me want to scream
Within the middle of the world
So everyone will know my pain
That I keep locked in
I want it to fall like rain
Drenching all with the truth
Verse two
This misery is driving me
To the dagger that has the stains
Of the scars in my past
Where the blood had drained
I can't escape it's clutch
I feel it's the answer
Not feeling like myself
I know that I'm going nowhere
So I open the case
Pick up the knife
Hold it with both hands
And take my life
Now the world will know
Verse three
Looking down upon myself
Lying down upon the floor
Wishing that my life
Could've been worth more
The stab wound
That makes the blood flow
Into the red river
That will never bestow
Anymore unwanted pain
That will never cease
The world has stopped
As I increase
My way towards the sky
Author notes
I have not won anything with this. All my trophied poems are still in the contests I've entered and this is not one of them.
A contest entry
- . by Aurora Ceres.
700 points, ended November 1, 2007, 75 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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another great song by you
wow are u in a band or something? these songs u write are absolutely beautifully written..they're written with much feelings...VERY VERY powerful...keep this up!
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Very nicely done, it was well written. I cant believe I didnt comment on this one either. Good job. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
Well written song/poem, dark enough for my style. Twisted enough for my liking. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for entering, and good luck.
~Oka >.<
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Cryptic and kind of creepy, but I like it. It's very descriptive, and I love the imagery of "Driving me to the Dagger". It's so deliciously hopeless! Lol there's a typo "So I opne the case" should be "So I open the case", but that's about it. It looks similar in form to another poem I've seen, maybe it was by you... Anyways good job, and keep on writing.
Sara
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I like how you state the verse numbers every time... It gives a kind of foreboding feel to the poem. Countdown, I suppose. It brings a new feel to angst/suicide. Thanks for an amazing write... kind of similar to Evanescence's "Tourniquet". I hope I spelled that right lol... Keep it up, and enjoy the space on my favourite's list!
Sarah -
Great!
Quickly- "So I opne the case" Need to respell "open"
"I'm stuck looking upon
The unknown darkness
Making me want to scream"
I totally felt this stanza right here. I cannot tell you how much I have felt that same way, wanting to scream. The "unknown darkness" is many different things for people. What's it for you?
The title goes very well with your poem, but I am left wondering what really made you do it-stabbing yourself? It peaks my interest. Anything that gets me to thinking is a great source of not only entertainment, but talent because it takes a lot to get me into an indepth cognitive state.
-BxBxBx
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Oh my gosh!
It was well written Dark. I could feel the desperate need to escape. It was very sad. One typo though verse two line nine. Opne open. Matt you did a great job.
Guin
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This is an very good poem......
Keep up the good work.....
Bye...................
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