Early sunbeams break gentle reverie
Serenity as flowers open eyes
Soft feathery kisses float towards me
Breath escapes our lips in contented sighs.
But cursed is the dawn, as through curtains call
Two bodies entwined, unravel they must.
Yet your gaze holds mine and it does enthral
Igniting desire and passionate lust.
Draw me near to you for one last embrace
And please cover my soul with your sweet kiss.
When night returns I will bathe in your grace
And discover passion in lovers' bliss
Author notes
I hope this is an aubade!
In a list
A contest entry
- Aubade Awakening by CarolDesjarlais.
600 points, ended December 19, 2006, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Bravo!
Dark, but very passionately and deftly done here...a fine farewell ...bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
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ummm excellent piece of poetry here, this minds me of a poem that I have read in class called (love calls us to the things in this world).... it has a very similiar feel... great write, i like it alot
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This is so beautiful and so tender from beginning to end flows so gently as well a truly lovely write very well written very well done to you
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Nicely done, I am stopped at the curtains call...I wanted it to be curtain's call, but whether is meant to be, I am not certain.
This truly is beautifully done...and but for that... which stops me and make me skip on to entwined bodies...not sure of the flow... -
Lovers beneath the cover of night's sheild hidden in an embrace.Very romantic Scribe! Well versed tight lined verses.~~~Suseann
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Beautifully done, absolutely wonderful. Good job.
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Amazing write well applauded
Very impressive I loved the words you used and the way you expressed them. My favorite parts are
"Draw me near to you for one last embrace
And please cover my soul with your sweet kiss.
When night returns I will bathe in your grace
And discover passion in lovers' bliss"
You writes are always very well presented your talent is well enjoyed. I also love the title very much. That alone tells a story (Lisa)
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awesome rhyme with this, good job, great write.
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we must have been writing at the same time, I have just done one for this contest. As you I do not know if this is an Aubade as with mine but this is really romantic and full of the emotional stress one feels in leaving a lover which sppears to fit the bill, this is really good so good luck in the contest, Broad
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very beautiful!
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Very good.
Very good poem. Good use of the form, good use of language. You convey your meaning very well. -
Good flow... very metered, intentional I assume?
a very passionate write that I have enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing it with all here at AP. Merry Christmas to you and Good Luck in the contest.
~MotherMachineGunn~
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well i can not speak on the form here as i haven't looked at the form before. but i will go looking online for examples later. (rather than in here lol) looking at what you have done here though, seems ten syllables per line and a set rhyme scheme.
on the poem itself - a good piece, full of light and love
i wish that you have good luck in this contest you have entered. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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