I loved you .
You left me.
I wanted to die .
I tried to kill my self.
And made my family cry.
Now I am sorry.
Ashamed and sad.
My family still love me.
Off that I am glad.
I made a mistake
Over a lovely lad.
He used me
And then made me mad.
I loved you
You left me.
I wanted to die.
But it didn,t hurt you.
You just said goodbye.
Author notes
THIS HAPPENED WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN ALONG TIME AGO
In a list
A contest entry
- Reaching through Shadows by x Gemini x.
600 points, ended December 29, 2006, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many Options... Prewrites allowed by gothprincess7.
500 points, ended August 27, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love is the slowest form of suicide... by Yours-To-Have.
500 points, ended March 22, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - forbidden, lost, distant love by xBluexEyedxGirlx.
300 points, ended May 6, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - broken hearts! by Samm..
300 points, ended July 15, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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thats so sad...great job, theres just a typo in the last stanza...but awesome write...good luck thanks for entering
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good
I thought this was a good poem; I enjoyed reading; as with many of my rhyming poems I felt, when Reading aloud a little too much consistency to the sound of the read; but that is okay; sometimes I leave mine that way and sometimes I change one or two word to decrease or soften the sound of the read... it is, of course, your call never change anything in your poem simple because someone else feels it would sound better another way, because that is a suggestion and their option only and this is YOUR poem... This is a good poem and I enjoyed the read!!!!
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this is sad and i'm really sorry it happend. To the poem there is a couple typing/spelling mistakes. It's easy to read and tahts good. But this is really good, alot of sorrow for well an innocent age but yes very good poem
and good luck in the contest
always -
Life can be so sad at 17 when your heart is broken. This was nice, I liked it. I am old-ish, lol, and 17 for me was 4 decades (plus a bit) ago, but I can still remember, clearly, some of those feelings.
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So sorry love...
We have all faced this. You shall be stronger next time! Great sentimental write!
Azlyn
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Sad for sure, but generally well written. Good job, keep the ink flowing!
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Hey, this is a heart wrenching piece!!!
I feel very sad and I can feel the pain. I like the way you express your feelings but the numbness of my broken soul hurts me so deeply. Forgetting someone we love is very hard!!!
We feel like crying forever!!! but he's gone, nothing is the same anymore.These words reflect my broken heart but we have to move on .
The scars is always there but But your heart will heal ,the heart always does,because your heart will continue to go on .We have all suffered in one way or another and actually feel that pain when it breaks and you do feel.... it will never mend but gradually it does it has to ..because without our hearts we cannot ever feel again,I wish I had a cure but there is nothing you can take for this ...It has to mend.. and in time that pain will gradually leave but it will never be completely gone...our hearts are so strong and yet they break ,but my friend in your mind there is hope and the will to go on..and so this is a part of life and its many hardships,always remember your heart will go on...
~~GRACE~~ -
sad. sorry
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First, let me thank you for entering my contest.
Second, i am sorry for your strife.
Third:
I suggest the use of puncuation and only correct use of capitlization for a professional look and easier reading, as well as inserting spaces (maybe making stanzas) so not to OVERHELM the reader.
Otherwise, this was good.
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