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My Hell, Your Fate

Oh no my sweet
You won't be leaving soon
Seeing your whole body tremble at my nearness
The sweat that lingers on your skin
Oh how your body shakes at my presents

Your eyes widen in fear
I've came to fell in love with that
Taking my many instruments of torture
I figured out what to do with you

Taking out my knife
Watching your hand shake for side to side
As if pleading that I don't cut you, ha
I laugh, your so naive
You brought this upon your self
You can't play the victim this time
Brought this upon yourself

Taking the knife making tiny cuts along your skin
Watching with eagerness as the crimson red
Trickling down your skin
Watching the salty tears well up in your eyes
Only adds fuel to my rage

I take my hammer and beat you
Across your head leaving blows to your skull
Seeing the matted mess that become of your hair
I cut out your eyes
Those haunting eyes
Watching my every move
Your tongue always full of bullshit
You can't see it now, can you?
I show you now mercy
I cut away
Painting my hatred of your very soul
Loving the mess I've made
I leave you there

Like the piece of shit you are
This time I'm the one to turn my back
Watch me I enter the light
And leave you in the dark

Author notes

Dear Christina

I hope this is right for your contest and I hope that I did a great job of scaring you, sleep well

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • ilovemyemo
    February 11

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    this was so awesome!!!!!!!! i love it !! cause i love murder and the very unique ways of it haha *evil smerk*


  • Nikkisixxx
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh man this is excellent. The images and the way it is written makes it one of the best murder poems I have read ever!


  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    July 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WHOA

    THIS WAS GRIPPING AND BREATH-TAKING! *claps* *loud applause* Amazing write. Seriously. ESPECIALLY using the knife to instill fear.....i could put myself in the shoes of boht the victim AND the killer. kudos


  • thelovesongwriter
    May 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! this is scary! I loved it!! <3 great description...its similar to one of the poems i wrote.. great job and good luck


  • Sinfully Yours
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    This is good!

    wow! This is very good, and one of the few that actually lets it out in the way a revenge plan would be released. not like dainty poetry, but full out revenge! and thats what i like! Great job, and good luck!!!


  • XxMysticalFantasyxX
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was very well done very graphic you are very talented thank you for entering and the best of luck!


  • Blossom
    April 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!!!

    I love it. I really do. Thanx for entering.


  • XHollowXEyesX
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow what a twisted sick, yet written with great talent and awesome use of language and flow. you seemed to make it okay to torture the person. as if doing a favour.
    thanks for entering and goodluck


  • Xxxxxxxxx
    January 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Macabre Masterpiece

    Oh damn this reminds me of a japanese horror/thriller of a girl capturing people and mutilating, gutting and cutting them up.....christ in hell i forget the name of it, but it seems like something someone who would write this would love....Audition, thats what it is...
    anyhell,excllent sadistic write.

    -cheers

  • will-bob
    January 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    love

    that's it! marry me.loljk. this was sick..twisted..sexy..just fucking mental. i loved it.i cut out your eyes,those haunting eyes...awsome. you've got an awsome writing talent. only one thing and i don't mean to correct you or anything but i am.. trickling mabey should be trickls...that kind of smacked me in the face as i was reading.

    kick ass..


  • x Bright Eyes x
    December 23, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    hi i really enjoyed your poem it was dark and full of raw emotions and i am sorry to do this to you as well but these few lines dont sound quite right
    I've come to fell in love with that
    I've Taking my many instruments on torture
    Watching your hand shake for side to side
    As if pleasing that I don't cut you, ha
    Seeing the matted mess that become of your hair
    Watching my everyone move
    I show you now mercy
    so if you want try putting these ones in if you want
    I've come to fall in love with that
    I've Taking my many instruments of torture
    Watching your hand shake for side to side
    As if pleading that I don't cut you, ha
    Seeing the matted mess that became of your hair
    Watching my every move
    I show you no mercy


    • Trixie08
      December 23, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for telling me and I'm gratful thanks again.


  • penman gold member
    December 21, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Oh so raging

    You really cut to the gore with this one. It was wonderfull violent and brutal. Darkness and unnatural in all ways. Great job. Good luck in the contest.


    • Trixie08
      December 21, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much I'm glad that you liked it.

1 - 14 of 14