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You

Seeing your smiling face
Feeling your warm embrace
Seeing the love in your eyes
And feeling like there is nothing to hide.

You Make me feel invincible.
With you by my side
I could take the world by nightfall
And by dawn, just be happy to be alive
In your arms.
In your heart.

You make me bold
You are my backbone
You make me stand up for what is right
For things like true love, happiness, and butterflies.
Just having you makes everything right.

And, I hope I make you feel half of what you make me be.

A contest entry

Please critique.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • j-ay rose
    March 6, 2007

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    You:
    In other currently running contests: no.
    Creativity: 5/10
    Concept: 8/10
    Language: 5/10
    Overall Effect: 4/10
    Final Grading: 22/40
    Notes: so-so work, not very emotion invoking.


  • j-ay rose
    January 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well, I'm sure someone else enjoys this one just the way it is, but it's not my thing. There isn't really much of anything for the eyes in my head to latch onto. What is your love like? How does it feel? What situations do you need to be bold in?


  • widesummer
    January 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nicely described,very touching too, well done.


  • bakacoconut
    January 4, 2007

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    The one we love is often our rock that ties us to sanity. I expect as much, anyway. This is a lovely poem, and I hope whoever you wrote it for enjoyed reading it more than I did, especially since it'd seem more sincere. Best of luck and thanks for entering.

    Coconut


  • singer in the rain
    December 18, 2006

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    cool♥

    ooooooooooooooh very nice! cool! lol. yeah! soooo i thought your last line was....emotional? touching? no..thats not it...hmmm...can't describe it,,but it was really cool::i liked it awesome poem && thanks for entering my contest!
    ~melissa


  • Stormy Sky
    December 18, 2006

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    ah meh gawd! it's so cute! and I can totally relate to it! Good luck in this contest and future ones.

    ~poisonedrationality~


  • Best-to-the-Fall
    December 17, 2006

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    you really make me feel what you feel. nice write! it is so good to feel the things you brought out in this poem.


  • blondone
    December 16, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    all this is great so touching great writing for a special someone love the last line the best great poetry thank you for entering...

1 - 8 of 8