"He still loves me
he just doesn't know it yet
if I give him what he wants
then he'll realize
that I am all he needs"
she takes out her sketch pad
and the photo album
sketching the picture
of a marching band day
the shine of the saxophone
The expression on his face
captured by the artist's hand
She will skip her class today
as she has done for months
to watch him
to wait for him
and to sketch
his eyes full of terror
when he sees her there again
wondering why she can't let go
it's been 6 months since then
and still she waits for him
a new boyfriend
and yet she waits for him
6 MONTHS
and she waits for him
waiting
sketching
crying.
Because she'll wait forever.
Author notes
Good Luck with your contest!
A contest entry
- Obsession by Polaja.
700 points, ended December 29, 2006, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow i like this poem
This poem is pouring with your fantabulous talent..i can see passion in your poetry very cool...i can feel your enthusiam when you write...you are so amazing..the words written on this poem is sooooooooooooo something soooo INCREDIBLY GOOD not good how'd you say? REMARKABLE....AND YES, this poem is like an onion...could cause tears to flow out of someone who is happy....very nice...and effective piece of work..i can feel the flaming sadness.
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this was an excellent write
-lys
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Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback on my poem. I appreciate it so much. I am so thrilled by the way this turned out, and I am happy that you all see, to understand exactly what I said. Thank you so much!
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wow
I can see the girls view in this one. You use such great words when writing it is like I can almost see her waiting. Now I have been in his shoes but I didn't think as he did. My question was, "Why does she still love me?" But yes I like it. Very nice.
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wow....so uh... I Guess that poem is about me... kinda funny.
to all who dont know...she's writting about my psycho stalker EX. yes,its all true
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Stalking in my eyes is normally wrong and disturbing, but the way you wrote this I can almost understand and sympathize with the stalker, which is rare for me being as I know a couple of stalkers, gone out with a couple... So yeah it's like you know she is desperate just to be loved, how can you hate someone for that? Unless they hurt someone of course.
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Wow . . . this is certainly a very strong poem . . . the only thing that I would change would be the way you use numbers instad of words - but that is just a little thing that has to do with my own preferences and you don't have to take any notice.
I like how you added the new boyfriend part . . . I think it adds a whole different layer to the scenario, because what must he think about this?
Amazing write, good luck and thankyou for entering
Polly
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