love in a narrow bed,
the lamp still burning
when the first bird song stirs the curtain,
and Neruda’s Cien sonetos de amor kept open
at I will die kissing your crazy old mouth
proclaiming, that through us,
the earth will continue to live
Author notes
“I will die kissing your crazy old mouth” from Sonnet XCIII, 100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 80 of 80
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Outstanding,worthy of an HM,a silver,a bronze, a gold and a platinum.The depth of the write compounds the title,when we love like this,crazily,madly,deeply and completely,we learn and absorb through love the knowledge that this,this is all the knowledge we need,to be known by love and to have love know us.
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Pretty.
I like how it's formed, and that you had some inspiration to the poem. Also that you put a bit in another language. Makes it very interesting, and beautiful. Well done, and good luck in the contest. -
this is very loving poem very beautifully penned thank you for entering into my contest
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simple but not plain as it is filled with beauty... loved this
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you are so good at this. seriously.
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passion, love, and knowledge
she couples the de Villiens masterpiece of dripping, red blood passion to Pablo Naruda's masterpiece which she incorporates as a prop in her poem, this is not a subtle hint, folks, about love, no this is an extremely potent heart felt statement by her that if you don't learn how to give love and feel love and learn from it and transcend it into its purest form which is agape, true true love for your own kind, then we are doomed. also, she draws love, passion, wisdom as being so closely woven together that i don't see how i can look at this page without being moved, to say leaast, but smarter, yes, oh yes.,,,Danni
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Smiles, Danni - I so love your comments - and this one is even longer than my poem. You're just great - thank you so much
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Nicolette I say like a psalm...
Darling
Drawn inside your poetry
like incantations of sighs
surrendered without one coquetry
great Jesus, oh my...
Smoosh
Janet
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You sweet woman, Janet... thank you, dear for the beauty of your heart and your touch
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"through us, the earth will continue to live" a beautiful line, that to me, is massive in it's message . . . there is so much to ponder in those few words . . . it slowed my mind down so that I could taste it to the fullest
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Marc, thank you so much for the kind comment. Welcome here on AP ~
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yummy
I like the depth of feeling here. I can identify with it. Excellent job
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Thanks, Tensi
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I love Neruda
And I understand the sentiments behind this Nicolette. You were the person that introduced me to Neruda, so I want to thank you for that. I came here a struggling poet, and I'm still struggling, but I have taken the advice of many great poets here, and started reading more of the art I've chosen. I have a library of poetry now, and whether it has helped me literally, it definitely has
made me see how far I need to go!
This is simply beautiful..
" first bird song stirs the curtain,"
Stunning.
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A beautiful well written piece, enough said, this is awesome! in a poem so short you managed to say so much, that is a sign of great talent!
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Jarrod, thank you so much - you are most kind!
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Let us love that Desire that consumed its own fruit..............
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Sonnet XI is all I can see in this poem, the craving.. "your hot heart like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue", even with jest....kissing.
wonderful!
"I follow the waters"
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Thank you, Oisin. The line you quoted is also one of my favourites - but then, all his poems are memorable. Good to see you ~
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"love in a narrow bed, the lamp still burning" Sighhh...Your poetic light will burn long after all the stars have gone out, Nic...How beautiful to come back & find not one, but two new posts by you, my dear Sister of the Soul...The source of infinite Love...Gorgeous language & emotions...& then ya go & add Neruda, too...Sighhh...Love you, Woman...Missed ya terribly, too... Vlindertjie
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And so wonderful to have your words here on my page again, my friend. Thank you so much...love you, Vlindertjie
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Adds clapping, an awestruck wow, and slinks quietly away.
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You are a true poet, Rob - what is this about slinking away quietly!! Thank you...
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Brilliant
Really, it's absolutely brilliant. You referenced Neruda's book and title to complete the wonderful image! What a magnificent concept!
You are never disappointing, how do you live with the pressure! -
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Brian, how wonderful to see you here on AP again. LOL, about the pressure...lately pressure to find my voice again. Thank you so much for the compliment and for reading my poetry.
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I must say that finally I have read something with pleasure on this portal.........its not very easy to find something of quality and essence of what it means to write a poem....anyone can write not anyone can be a poet...it has been a pleasure ......greetings radical
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Radical, thank you so much. I appreciate the compliments. Take care ~
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I absolutely love this. The simplicity of the length plays really well with the complex thought and emotion in the piece.
This one, I am bookmarking. Very well done! Thanks for posting.
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WOW, thank you so much, indulgealunatic. You have me smiling !
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A fine read for me
This sensual free verse with its carefully choreographerd seting demonstrates the need of all men and women teeming this planet for physical love. Neruda, a man of the people was a complex love poet of the people. Your small poem has done justice to the theme of the individuality yet commonality and ubiquity of hungry love. Well done, poet. 
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Thank you so much, Ron - you know I value your poetic abilities, my friend. Will consider "insisting"
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how about just
through us the earth
will continue to live
i hate to make a suggestion on such a stunning piece. but it came to mind after reading the comment by butterflycuts.
beautiful as always.
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Yes... those last lines bother me too. Thank you for the suggestion - you are most welcome, Tina. As soon as I'm done commenting on the 80+ entries in my contest, I will give your suggestion, as well as Jess's, some serious thought. Thanks (lol, I haven't written in a while)
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ohh yes.... damn that kiss burns.. doesn't it hun??
the quietness of your soul shines here Nic... with all the slow burn of a carefully placed nuance of a sheer kiss.. so far away, unreachable.. but known..
i feel every word of this my friend..
speaks winner to me..
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Thanks, Gill for your touch and finely-tuned poetic eyes. I don't know about winner - I was just happy to write something after more than a month. You take care ~
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superb
poetry....
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Al, thank you so much ~
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I can only cry after reading this....
for soooo many reasons
Tamara
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Yes, thank you, Tamara....
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Very Good
Wonderfull words expressed in brevity
Well said and complete
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Thank you, Rick. I haven't written in so long - looong story, but I'm happy that you appreciate my writings. Take care ~
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the way u write is like the way that Rembrandt painted
... may i quote ?
"His paintings are characterized by luxuriant brushwork, rich colour, and a mastery of chiaroscuro. Numerous portraits and self-portraits exhibit a profound penetration of character"
~ b
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Thanks, bb...to be compared with Rembrandt is a good thing, especially after having been poetically quiet for so long!
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You just always amaze me
This is a beautiful picture and the image stirs a need to read the Neruda piece listed. You create a lover's scene that is fresh and powerful. There are no cliches here and as always your words take my breath away.
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Thanks, tanz...your comments always makes me smile in capital letters ~
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Delicately Superb!
Sweet Lady, this is so very beautiful...as is your heart. The opening lines are perfection...."love in a narrow bed..." Gives you the feeling of intense intimacy right from the start. It just grabs you and holds you in such passion and warmth. Then ..."the lamp still burning when the first song bird stirs the curtain...." Gorgeous, dear girl! Simply gorgeous! So much emotion and imagery in this for us to devour. What a perfect start to my day to feast my soul on such beautifully penned words. Only you, dear Nic, could pen such passion with such power and still retain the gentle softness of your soul. I adore it, and you. Thank you for this wonderous treat to start my day! Much love and laughter to you, Sweet Lady. I love you lots!! 
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Sweet Mary... I had to pull this little one from the deep and the dark, lol
!! Thank you, my friend - with you by my side how can I not smile! Love you lots too
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i wish someone will one day write such a poem about a page in my book . an outstanding hommage to poetry, poets, and the unforgotten love burning in that forgotten lamp. i imagine the picture as real as reality
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Thanks, Joe...someone will most definately read your book - and then write that poem...
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promise?
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My sweet Nicolette...I love the inspiration Neruda places upon your pen, bravo dear one... How you express this undying love, is outstanding! How the lovers make this world beautiful, leaving part of themsleves melding into one..."I will die kissing your crazy old mouth" .... I so enjoy your words and the inspiration you share with each one of your readers... I know if I'm lost for words your writing always touches my heart with beautiful thoughts... Thank you sweetie for always giving part of you! Much love your way dearest friend, Annie
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Dear Annie...so good to see you here on AP. Thank you so much, my friend for your comment, but for so much more... love and's
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Ah Nic. It's so good to read something from you again. This has such a happy feel to it too. Reminds me of a memory sitting on the beach having Neruda read to me from one of his books. I hope I die kissing that crazy old mouth I'm thinking of I love the image you have here of the first bird song stirring the curtains. ~sigh how lovely this is.
~Lyrical
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I wish you dying kissing that mouth of your special man too, Lyrical - but firstly I wish you all the life and love there is. Thank you friend - now I'm waiting for you...
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A picture worth a thousand words
...but you do it in so few!
Nicolette, I read this poem early in the day and it has held my thoughts off and on for hours. The metaphors in this intrigue my mind as well as my heart. Love makes one, sings of an endless day where light dawns upon the heart, and harmonies meld the body's senses and the spirit's fire in the soft touch of desire. I love how Neruda lays the passion of his life at his lover's lips to the end of his days.
It is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery; your last line brings me to the idea of heaven on earth, at least the next nearest thing to eternity under the sun. 
~K
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Karen, thank you, my friend for the beauty of your heart...wow, at last I've written something again!
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perfection
the first line is brilliant - you cannot turn over in a narrow bed without the other person doing the same - it speaks of such closeness such togetherness
this is beautiful indeed - and the art just tops it off...
elaine
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Nice.
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Nicolette -
I so love this poem and the reference to Neruda is just to perfect. I haven't visited your page lately and am remiss with all of the catching up I have to do. I'm quite sure if I did - I'd find my muse more agreeable to write as passionately as you do.
Kimmie -
Simply breathtaking, passionate and heartfelt...You are one of the best at writing love poems...I'm in awe of your talent, Nicolette. Wonderfully penned!
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So exciting the energy of the earth to change direction in that molten stream of passion to write...and I have such a big smile for you...to flow in every whim of creative genius...
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Thanks, Rich for your energy ....and the smile...
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As for "demonstrating"
you could try the more forceful "insisting". Just a thought.
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Ah, yes, this is sublime and touching....so sensual and heartful..SOUL FULL. Reminds me of some kind of love, like a landscape, I have been to before.
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This is gorgeous- as rich and deep as the painting. Lovely texture it has.
The only bit I felt was slightly .. off.. was the word 'demonstrating'. It felt.. clumsy and too technical for an emotional piece- it also undervauled the passion.. it's just a demonstratoin. - although that may be your intention. .
But i relaly liked it Good luck in the contest
jess -
I love Antoine de Villiers! This is just passionate Nic. Word economy is always effective in poetry. I got that book from Neruda too, it's amazing isn't it? Hugs, R
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Thanks, R..good to see you again! I haven't written anything in more than a month but was kind of inspired by my latest contest, lol. Yes, isn't his art something special. Hugs to you too
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Dearest Nicolette,I never feel I am able to do justice to your poetry and feel the same upon reading this.You have an almost indefinable talent for so beautiful is this piece that it's very exquisite refined beauty made me cry.It has everything,imagery,depth,emotion,spirituality,philosophy,love's everlasting touch,it reaches out to the very soul of the reader and with such gentleness but an intricate mix of passion,all poetry communicates but your poetry does this and oh so much more,I bow to your creative spirit that enhances my world.I only have enough points to applaud once,but it is delivered with a standing ovation,if this was read to a poor soul who had not yet learned to read he would spend the rest of his life learning to read in the hope that he may one day read of your work by his self,love and light,Yvette
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You are just amazing, Yvette - if you were in my English literature class you would get 5 gold stars for your comments and insight. Thank you so much...
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Nicolette,
of course you would see inspiration in this way, where else? As usual, so concise, so full of imagery. When I first saw the title it brought so many obvious ideas to my head. Of course with your poetry I never know where it will go. I happened to comment on an earlier work where I talked about the real vs. ethereal, and this has implications of both. Sometimes simple natural personifications as the earth being alive and and bird's song moving curtains is just the simplicity and complication a poem needs. Nothing left to doubt though and not tired at all. Great work, so glad to see something since fire lily. Thanks for keeping us going.
Jim
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Jim, thank you, my friend - between you and Yvette I am so blessed - the quality of your comments are amazing - and leaves me smiling!
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I love the simplicity in this poem. It says so much and you have penned an alluring atmosphere very well. I think the last two lines are the best ending possible: it's a hope that couldn't have been brought in better, in my opinion. It makes me feel how that moment is so important for the couple that for it alone it's worth living... and thus the earth and the individuals continue to live through that one instant. It is a very touching poem. Exactly what I needed to read these days.
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Diana, thank you, dear friend...just a tentative step to test the poetic waters, but glad that it spoke to your own needs.
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Wow
I think if this was entered in the contest you are running it would definately be the Gold..This was just pure beauty Nicolette.I love the undercurrent of this piece.Always a joy to read your work.Each word gels perfectly with the next.
Love Helen
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first i love the piece of art you choose. very cool piece. the opening line i really like, i don't know why. it simply reads wonderfully. you end this piece very simply and i really like it. thank you for sharing this and keep up the great writing.
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This definately gives quite some food to think about, yet - at the other side - it's so crystal clear... and beautiful... like you are my friend
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Very nicely done! I love the emotions and that artwork is so lovely!
Thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of the contest! -
Bravo!
Very powerful imagery and emotions for a sort poem. The word selection is just enough to convey the photograph of emotions. Short poems are my favorites. Great Job! ~PeacE~GarY~
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