I think I like you, but I think that I like trouble too
My addiction to destruction is just too much for me to see this through
In my reckless feckless world
I like to see you in your pearls
And if you ain't'a gonna choke-a then I'll want to see you hurl
Because I'm sick
I'm twisted and messed up
And really couldn't give a shit
My dis-
enchan-
ted universe
Will stick
Here among the bleach and disappropriated
Complicated
Disillusioned savage
Chemical
Deaths
This nat-
ural
Or was it unnatural I really can't remember now
As all
The shadows
Run around my head
This in-
Finite-
ly warping
gawping
changing
Universe
In par-
Allel
I've got no idea what that line's about but what the fucking hell
Because I'm sick
I'm twisted and messed up
And really couldn't give a shit
My dis-
enchan-
ted universe
Will stick
Here among the bleach and disappropriated
Complicated
Disillusioned savage
Chemical
Deaths
I'm running to and fro
Disorientated? No!
Maybe I am I just really can't remember now
These veins
And lips
And pumping adrenalin as I reach towards your-
No!
That isn't how it goes
We're better than those animals
Our love
Is like
A winter with the cold winds blowing
And snow
Falls down
In torrents without slowing not for anything or you or me
So c'mon
Let's go
Forget about the show
Strip on down right to the bone
And we'll see what we've got left without
Our clothes
OUr money or our homes
But I don't really care anyway I just want to laugh and play and run and scream and shout and let all these feelings out
Because I'm sick
I'm twisted and messed up
And really couldn't give a shit
My dis-
enchan-
ted universe
Will stick
Here among the bleach and disappropriated
Complicated
Disillusioned savage
Chemical
Deaths.
There's only you and me and we sit here and watch TV
And you're too scared to make a move
'cos of the blood
I'm licking off this knife
I don't care bout you but it looks like we're for life
Howev-
Er long
That may turn out to be
I don't really give a shit who goes first you or me
Because I'm sick
I'm twisted and messed up
And really couldn't give a shit
My dis-
enchan-
ted universe
Will stick
Here among the bleach and disappropriated
Complicated
Disillusioned savage
Chemical
Deaths.
Corruption and eruptions
Who wants to take first breath?
Not me
Because breathing's too cliched for me
So if
I smile
I warn you don't believe me I'm just dreaming up ways to turn your hide
From this make-up caked skein of lies
Into
something
Much more beautiful
A banner to unfurl
That says something about this world
And now
I find that I cannot stop
This song might never end
Yet you keep driving me round the bend
Because I'm sick
I'm twisted and messed up
And really couldn't give a shit...
Author notes
Well... I took the title from the contest, and I used nearly all of the words from all the word banks... dunno if I used any of them completely. So yeah... this is wierd. It's set to a bastardisation of the tune to 'Animals' by Nickelback. Go listen!
A contest entry
- [i think i like you, but i think i like trouble too] by the chase.
600 points, ended December 26, 2006, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
A rockin' song!!
Cleverly done,love the rhythm... -
i think that this is a good piece of poetry i find which you have written here with some style, it holds a nice gentle rhythm to the poem and the flow is very nice indeed. i enjoyed reading it. i thank you very much indeed for sharing your poetic talent. merry christmas. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
This would make an awesome song, i liked how some of the words were on seperate lines, gave them emphsis. The rhymes were simple and the flow smoothe
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
-
I knew this was a song when I was reading it, haha. Good job kiddo. Thanks for entering.
-
Really Really Like It
Oh God. Nickelback. No.
Oh but I LOVE your style. It's amazing. The whole
dis-
enchan-
ted
thing. It's really interesting and it accents whatever flow you have going. I think the first line is a little fucked up, though.
"I think I like you, but I think I that like trouble too"
The that and I need to be switched. Anyways, I really liked....
"This nat-
ural
Or was it unnatural I really can't remember now
As all
The shadows
Run around my head
This in-
Finite-
ly warping
gawping
changing
Universe
In par-
Allel
I've got no idea what that line's about but what the fucking hell"
...alot. I really liked the chorus too but my love for it died when you kept repeating. But I suppose it works as I song. Great write and good luck in the contest!
- Alex
-
Well written
'something
Much more beautiful
A banner to unfurl
That says something about this world'
- Love it.
The whole thing is very well written, with a really disjointed feel that emphasizes the content of the poem. It is however a little depressing. Maybe you could channel your sconsiderable talent to write something a little more optimistic that gives people a feel of goodness and hope rather than of hopelessness and depression next time
-
-
Maybe you should check out 'Here with You' - it's pretty happy
-
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