It’s all so damn hard.
This love and loving,
Trust and trusting,
Believing somehow
You will not hurt me.
Damn it’s hard,
It’s too damn hard.
It’s impossibly hard.
Clinging to the fury
Feeling so safe,
While I was yelling
And screaming
Like some mad woman...
And now,
With the fury fading,
I don’t know why
I went insane.
Damn it’s hard.
It’s too damn hard.
And all that’s left
Is the ghost of you.
The all I dreamed for, misty,
Memory, ghost of you.
The you I didn’t get,
The lost love, the pain, the hurt,
The fear that it was my fault.
Damn it’s hard.
It’s too damn hard.
And as sad as I am,
And as sad as this always is,
The saddest part,
The saddest part of all,
The part I cry about,
Is that it doesn’t have to be.
A contest entry
- First Contest from Feelings So True * ALL ENTRIES FROM ALL AP MEMBERS ALLOWED* by deathgod187.
800 points, ended December 15, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is the nugget of a very powerful poem. This could be trimmed down a bit and a few more poetic devices used. Metaphor, simile, alliteration all would help wake it up. You've utilized repetition and I feel you went too far with it. Keep your pen to the page!
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BULLEYE
Powerful write girl, been there, done that...
and it is so sad, isn't it?
This is well written...the emotion just oozes across the screen and into the reader...
hits a little to close to my heart...OUCH.
This write needs a disclaimer on it! LOL!
Very well done!
Blessings! Tammy
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powerful
I think this is one of the most powerful, moving poems i have ever read. i understand where you are coming from and i think that this poem explains alot of pain most people cant even begin to put in words.
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Your poem strikes me so deeply. The loss, saddness, pain flows throughout your poem, with the tenderness of your heart. Tears shed over such a loss will stop, but the tender memories will heal the pain, and make you whole again. You are a very gifted poet who possesses such a tender soul.
Nicely written.. -
I don't think there's alot that I can add that hasn't been said by readers before me here quarry but I can surely add that though there may be a possibility of some editing, this was still a nice write. Congratulations
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Outstanding 4 of 5 stars
This poem i can tell took some time. You laid out all of your sadness, anger, and stress and made them into something amazing. Keep up the excellent work. -
This is a poem about feeling. It seems to be mainly telling. For example:
It’s all so damn hard.
This love and loving,
Trust and trusting,
Believing somehow
You will not hurt me.
The first stanza is two statements. I think you are getting the message out but wouldn't it be even better to show the image of these feelings somehow? The girl or boy really hurting, but show it don't tell it.
Just my opinion, could be wrong, it's just taste in the end. But good rhythm to this poem. You could sing this - it is so rhythmical. That's usually the hardest bit of poetry I think and you got it really well here. -
Hi, that was quite a rant, perhaps a little too many repeats of some words but that is just a personal preference, all the best in the comp hope it goes well for you, Di
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Out of curiousity, what is the furry? I had images of a guineau pig, but I'm sure that's not what you had in mind. But then I also read thrust and thrusting instead of 'trust and trusting' in the third line, so maybe it's just me... Sorry!
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Furry shoud have been "fury"... it's me not you! Thanks much for the comment and the spell check.
fu·ry (fyʊr'ē
n., pl. -ries.
Violent anger; rage. See synonyms at anger.
Violent, uncontrolled action; turbulence.
Furies Greek & Roman Mythology. The three terrible winged goddesses with serpentine hair, Alecto, Megaera, and Tisiphone, who pursue and punish doers of unavenged crimes.
A woman regarded as angry or spiteful.
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