From henceforth I have come,
a shallow grave I now depart,
clutching tightly, in my hand,
my still loving, beating heart.
Though my chest is but a cage of ribs,
a love offering to you I bring,
if only my vocal cords were still intact,
to you, a love song I'd gladly sing.
For I have nothing else to offer,
but one thing left to give only you,
my constant and steady beating heart,
which for thy love, still does beat true.
Though nothing of monitary value I have,
being without you has caused me great pain,
this is why to you my heart I gladly give,
love it, keep it, hang it from thy neck upon a chain.
To lay eyes upon you once more my dear,
from life to death to life again I've passed,
to hand you my beating heart and say I love you,
though it's to be but my last loving gasp.
A contest entry
- First Contest from Feelings So True * ALL ENTRIES FROM ALL AP MEMBERS ALLOWED* by deathgod187.
800 points, ended December 15, 2006, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Super top gun by Walking shadow.
1150 points, ended January 13, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want to Feel The Fiery Passion by EternalFyre.
450 points, ended February 20, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very sad indeed, at one point I felt something so simillar to this but now I ahve someone who loves me without hurting me in return. Good luck in the contest!
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Very deep
This piece is very deep. You added so much emotion here. The power behind the voice of love beyond even the grave. This one is a very powerful write indeed. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us. Good luck top gun! -
Well, I can congratulate you on your win, but i believe your poem is frought with forced rhyme. This is when sentence structure is "To you, I give" instead of "I give to you" fro rhyme. It is much harder to use flow and rhythem and use rhyme that is not forced.
But then I have also had hell's own week, and I may just be behaving out of bitterness, I hope not.
keep writing, for writing is the only way to be a writer. -
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This piece inspires
It matters not the form of this poem. It inspires. This kind of work I am looking for in my contest. Passion, fire, desire. A real winner. I forgive any faults. I read between every line. Thanks for the input we all look for that as poets. The author of this poem done a damn good job. Thank you.
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Excellent 5 of 5 stars
0_0. This poem is jaw dropping. It is like a wave in the ocean moving so fluidly, so smoothly. This is definately a finalist. -
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I agree
This one is looking more and more like a finalist in my contest. I am waiting for other poems to roll in but clearly this one is a winner.
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