I'm trying to tell you the truth
but I'm lying at the same time
Since when did it become so hard
to just be honest with you
You always listen to me
as I talk about myself
But when I met another
my heart began to melt
Not for you,
but for him,
and only him
Then you began to wonder
Why I was never home
and why I never answered my phone
Thats how it all started
like in the begging of this poem
No matter how hard I try
I can never look at you the same
as i did when i first saw you
Author notes
this is a new stlye for me ... so please comment and tell me if you like it!!!!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I liked this poem, and if you keep working at it, I'm sure you'll win more than one trophy in no time at all. Just enter as many contests as you feel able to, like I do, and you'll have a greater chance at winning. And if you don't win, you'll always get great tips on how to improve. I'm glad I came to read your poetry. Well done!!!
~.~Yvonne~.~
Baahltres -
okay
hey now this kinda reminds me of zach in a way, i mean we used to be able to talk about ANYTHING and now its like i dont wanna tell him anything cuz i dont know how long were gonna last. u get it? but watever i still like it and it makes me think!
luv ya like a sis!
~NoOtHeRsHoRtIeLiKeMe~ lol -
no not really but it doesn't really matter
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its a good poem, but there are flaws to it..not big ones, but they are there. like for one..the ending isnt that great, you leave the reader hanging, and where do they go after that, another one i found is the rythem is a bit off in certain areas, and its a bit hard to find for those who dont know how to read poetry, but then again people on this site are all advanced, so its ok. other then that, wonderful piece and full of emotion, it really tells something and how you felt when you wrote it. i hope to see more writes from you and if you ever need a heavily critiqued poem, just ask and i'll give you one..
with love
ethan aka yas sahale
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great!
this was really good liz!!! and i can relate (Ty) lol jk but ya actually im not. so ya great poem...keep it up!
luv ya!
~Desi~
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