Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Avoidance Behavior

I'm sorry for what I've done
But this blade helps me push it away
Just a little deeper, and
I'll be done crying for today.
I feel betrayed by myself
As I grow dizzy and tired and weak.
But no person alive can give me
The comfort that I seek.
I'll bury it a little deeper now,
So maybe it won't find me again.
But as happy as I seem
I still need it every now and then.
It's my newest sick obsession,
The hardest habit to break,
And I reach for it often,
Put it down when my hands start to shake.
Draw your beautiful lies on me
In red and black, lined with blue
I wait until the sweet pain is numbed,
Then begin etching my apologies to you.
The lines here need to be thinner;
The blood there needs to dry just so;
You must see clearly everything I felt
As I prepared to be let go.
Its edge is as sharp as the first time,
So this won't take long at all.
And with the help of my blade,
Every time I rise, I will fall

A contest entry

say what you will, constructive criticism is welcomed.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • daffodilblossom
    2 days ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    thanx for sharing this so few people get addiction can be anything not just drugs and alcohol gr8 work


  • God is my reality
    November 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh this is freaking amazing! I am just in awe of it right now. I love how it's like an addiction....you go away from it but somehow always fall into it. I love the line "I'll bury it a little deeper now so maybe it won't find me again" That is brilliant. And "i'll wait until the sweet pain is numbed" This poem is amazing and thank you so much for sharing with me because you truly have a gift!

  • Jaime.

    ...

    cutting is not my thing, kiddo.

    I had to stop reading it.
    ...apologies.

    -3 clappy things.


  • ladybug.
    June 24

    Edit | Reply

    Holy moly. This is wow. The pain set behind every word is phenomenal. My favourite lines:

     

    "And with the help of my blade,
    Every time I rise, I will fall"

     

    It was an extraordinary way to end the poem. Thanks for sharing.

     


  • cLaSsiX
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    normally. i tend to really dislike poems about cutting, because they're lame. but, you did an excellent job on this one, and its more poetic than just a rambling about how sucky life is and you cut to make it better.

    yes, that was blunt. but i like it . it was a compliment. haha.

  • wow this was deep. You did an AMAZING job writing it. You have some real talent! Keep up your amazing work!!!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • ScArLeM
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    wow this poem was writen so beautifuly"The lines here need to be thinner;The blood there needs to dry just so;You must see clearly everything I felt"is a very artistic description of cutting.and i didn't want to see that lol but still i respect your skill of word play keep it up

  • incredible! i've felt this way many times. this is great, thanx for sharing wiht me!

  • I really like it.


  • Im3
    January 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I dont think I've seen more passion coming in the form of words, that what you should here today. maybe it was just becuase i could relate, and feel the pain and joy at the same time. I loved this ending, "As I prepared to be let go.
    Its edge is as sharp as the first time,
    So this won't take long at all.
    And with the help of my blade,
    Everytime I rise, I will fall". thsi was well done and please sned me more in a IM when you write them.


  • breebarile
    December 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ur poetry is scaring me dude

1 - 11 of 11