I got tears dripping down to my soul Because I already know I'm alone.
Lost all my friends so I never hear the ring from the phone.
It's kind of messed up how they had to leave this child so gone.
I got hatred in every inch of my bones.
The evil inside me just wants to ride.
Life been going down hill from each side.
I feel like Bin Lidan I just want to hide.
When I'm at school I try so hard not to cry.
Even if I feel like I'm about to die.
Every since I was young I was told a lie.
So why try to fight the giving hand when they really ain't trying to give a damn.
Heart on fire like I'm killa Cam.
Is It a crime to feel not so alright.
It feels like I'll reach the same height. The height to reach the holy land.
I ask for help but it passes through my hands like sand.
Everytime I walk out side I see signs that say I've been banded.
Trying to make it out the world with only 15 cents.
I'll pay the price if i got shot up at night.
All I can feel is tears dipping down my lungs.
Right now i feel so good. Writing these words freed my soul.
I dont feel like a black hole.
A contest entry
- Hard Times for a young Girl. by Jocilynn Destroyed.
600 points, ended December 14, 2006, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1st Contest!! by xox-lankan-xox.
550 points, ended December 17, 2006, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT YOUR BEST!!!!! by Laura.
525 points, ended March 4, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick! It's up to YOU! by redmarkonthewall.
525 points, ended March 6, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heart Broken by SensualWhispers.
425 points, ended March 6, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
377 points, ended April 16, 2007, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tears by bigXfatXemo.
525 points, ended April 17, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreak and sorrow by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
950 points, ended April 24, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EMOTIONS - hit me with your best shot! by Heavens Child.
510 points, ended April 21, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cry, Cry, Cry by wat2do.
360 points, ended April 27, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best #3 (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
330 points, ended April 20, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So You Think You Have Soul?? by Trixie08.
300 points, ended September 2, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This poem has intense feelings and a struggling flow, but over all it was well written. And seemed to be from the heart. I can see why this is a winner.
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i like this...it has feeling
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Wow. Great message, great imagery. It seemed to flow kinda like a rap to me. I don't know if you intended it to be that way, but that's how it came across to me as. Congrats on the trophy.
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The rules state that you Can enter more thatn one contest just not the same poem. I thought that was a clear message, please reanter something else
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good
this poem is really good and i can relate to this poem alot! -
An honest expression of very deep emotions..... you've done a good job with the imagery. Good luck and thank you for the entry in my contest.
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a wonderful writ an the imagery in it is very strong along with the emotions. thnx and good luck
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Wow
I can see why you entered this into so many contests, it's a great write. The line 'All I can feel is tears dipping down my lungs' was beautiful imagery, and I can really feel the emotions behind this. All the best to you and good luck in the contest =]
Frankie xXx
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I dont thinkcomparing your self to Bin Ladin is good comparason, he ran form the consquencnes of what he did, thats not relavent to the subject of you poem. still it was a greart poem.
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i noticed that we talk on AP but I never checked out your poems..so i figured i would. this was really good. I loved it. =)
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This is such a powerful write..I simply cant understand why life has to be so hard..I wish I knew at what point in someones life it would come to be that they would fall short of the innocence every child has a right to hold..
Your words are very powerful..very well penned piece..and worthy of Gold.....
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Writing and expressing your feelings in poetry does make one feel better, release some of that tension and stress, and "frees the soul" as you say in these lines. Congrats on the gold.
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Very good
I really enjoyed your poem it is written well.
Has a great meaning behind it as well. Thanks for sharing and entering the contest. I wish you the best of luck... Kassie
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Please put your option in your author notes or I will DQ. Thank you.
I like the lines:
"I ask for help but it passes through my hands like sand."
and
"Right now i feel so good. Writing these words freed my soul.
I dont feel like a black hole."
Nicely done.
Also good choice on the title! I love it.
Thanks for entering and good luck. -
"I got tears dripping down to my soul Because I already know I'm alone" that is amazing those words are so very powerful..i am sorry for your pain and yes your right writing does help ease many burdens keep it up good work well done..good luck in my contest
laura xx -
very good
so such pain within your flow, whoa awesome write...
keep it up, my friend
fleur de rosa
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this was really good. from the soul. shows how writing can ease a soul in pain. you find your writing is your way of coping with life. i do too. kudos to you my friend and keep up with the good writing!
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Very deeply written and deeply felt poem. Love the background it added to the meaning of the poem. continue to write more, and good lick in the contest
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Strong poem. Good language. I felt like I wanted to cry just reading it. Just reading the poem against the teddy bear backdrop made it even stronger.
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Wow! Very well written~ Deep and emotional! Thanks so much for entering my contest this was very well written! My favorite lines were "I got tears dripping down to my soul Because I already know I'm alone.
Lost all my friends so I never hear the ring from the phone.
It's kind of messed up how they had to leave this child so gone.
I got hatred in every inch of my bones.
The evil inside me just wants to ride.
Life been going down hill from each side.
I feel like Bin Lidan I just want to hide.
When I'm at school I try so hard not to cry.
Even if I feel like I'm about to die.
Every since I was young I was told a lie.
So why try to fight the giving hand when they really ain't trying to give a damn.
Heart on fire like I'm killa Cam.
Is It a crime to feel not so alright." Your a great poet! Keep up the great work and good luck in my contest
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Ouch
painful, can really sense the hatred, loneliness, and fear, well placed wording, only one thing I would point out would be some of the lines are a little long, but other than that, you did a really great job, good luck in the contest. -
nice
I love this poem its a very good write...good luck in my contest
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