i'm gonna keep my notebooks
and i'll keep my smiles too
they both do a great job of masking the fact
that there are people close to me who hold a gun to my head
because the best friend loves a boy
but the boy loves another girl
it's a cliched high school dream
but does anyone really dream abut this
cause the movies make the girls look golden
and the boys are really heartthrobs with emotions
and the internet turns friends into enemies
you say what you want and they take it as they please
so back to that best friend
the one who pretends that she's okay
with the love of her life
and the girl he's with
and the pretty pretend they create
and then we've got the boy
who pretends he's not a heart breaker
and boys take the easy way
so why should he be any different
it's a typical case
boy falls for younger girl
but the pretty little girl harbors and innocent nievaty
and a slight immaturity
and she's too young for the things he shows her
and then we have the end
if these things keep up we're dead
cause on the internet it's pretty to pretend
just keep your enemies close and stay friends till the end
Author notes
this isn't the best. i wrote it a few weeks ago and i just now got around to putting it up
A contest entry
- Just good poems ... anything by Manoj Sanyal.
380 points, ended December 17, 2006, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Nice expression of the tipical day here at this school, well done!
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Expressed well.
Best wishes,
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i like it
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This was an intriguing poem... I kind of liked it. Actually, I did like it. You have a great message her; the pretense of Hollywood high school is so different from the reality of it. And still we play out those scenes... one person plays the nerd, the other, the prep, and the goth and the...so on and so forth. It gets so old, don't you think?
Anywho, I'd make a quick suggestion for you, if you don't mind. There are a couple of words: "abut," "and," (6th stanze), "nievaty" that don't make sense. It might be that they're misspelled or misused, but you might want to look into those. Oh, and I don't know, but the second line of the 4th stanza had a strange ending.
Anywho, I really love what you've done with this, and I'm glad you wrote something like this! Good luck in the contest!
Love,
-Rae -
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i definatly think that
and yeah i'm a terrible speller. ha.
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cause the movies make the girls look golden
and the boys are really heartthrobs with emotions
and the internet turns friends into enemies
you say what you want and they take it as they please
and then we have the end
if these things keep up we're dead
cause on the internet it's pretty to pretend
just keep your enemies close and stay friends till the end
my favorite parts. this is perfect. hmmmm... wonder who it's about
lol
love you
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