Echo not the spirit
Of an endless dying dream
Give it not a voice
Not a whimper, nor a scream
Let it die in silence
Yet lament for what is lost
Sacrifice of hope
So invaluable the cost.
Echo not the spirit
Of love’s enviable need
A burden of the heart
A wound that ever bleeds.
Let it fade to into the shadows
With the words “It might have been,”
Etched upon it’s marker
A tribute to it’s end.
Echo not the life
Of a tragic, empty soul
Withered in denial,
Wasted time, it will not know
What it means to find the answer
To the simple question, Why?
Twisted ,spurned and ever longing
Too afraid to even try.
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I like it.
Simply that.
-
This is a very deep yet "accesible" poem, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Very good writing!
-
The only negative feeling (and I hate starting this comment with a negative) I got about this piece is that the title might be a bit too on the nose. I think for writing of this caliber the title should match the wit of the poem. I am not saying that it isn't close - I am just wondering if perhaps you rushed that part of the piece seeing as how you must have been satisfied with the remainder.
That said, this entry reminded me of a piece I wrote a while back (it wasn't as well recieved as yours was, though, lol) wherein I opined that hell is for the spirits you so eloquently define in this effort. You have joined terrific use of concept with perfect meter to produce a work that may very well constitute the best use of AxAx form I have ever read (if not ever, then certainly for a very long while). Ordinarily this form is very difficult for authors, but you have utilized it seemlessly. This is an excellent submission.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
amazin!!!
usually rhymes show a lil of childish write, but these ones rocks!!! .. gr8 piece !!
loved it ..
me
xxx -
WOW!
OMG this is an amazing write! I love the rhyme...I actually liked everything! I really enojoyed reading it! Very good job!
Keep Writing & God Bless
~MagicalMoon~
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
