Verse 1:
Seven years have passed me by
without you by my side.
I try my hardest not to cry
but there's nowhere I can hide.
Nobody I can run to
when I need you here the most.
And so I take my comfort in
believing in your ghost.
Chorus:
Requiem,
Requiem,
When you took your darkened life
on that cold and fateful night,
Requiem,
Requiem,
I'll never be the same again,
I'll be with you though in the end.
Verse 2:
Sometimes when I feel so lonely
When the lights turn shades of grey.
I know you're right here beside me
We'll have each other back some day.
But now I stand here by your grave
with your flowers in my hand.
A token of the love you gave
I promise you, I understand.
Chorus:
Requiem,
Requiem,
When you took your darkened life
on that cold and fateful night,
Requiem,
Requiem,
I'll never be the same again,
I'll be with you though in the end.
Verse 3 (Climax verse):
I told you that I loved you
and that I always will
Did that mean nothing to you?
You should know, I love you still.
I loved you just as much in life
as I do now in death,
We all must face our final night
(There is no immortality)
This is my last breath.
Requiem, my song for you.
Chorus:
Requiem,
Requiem,
When you took your darkened life
on that cold and fateful night,
Requiem,
Requiem,
I'll never be the same again,
I'll be with you though in the end.
Requiem,
Requiem,
When I took my worthless life
on that cold and fateful night,
Requiem,
Requiem,
I meant those words I said before,
Now I'm with you forevermore.
Author notes
Lyrics made in about 30 minutes, possibly for my band. I have a tune in my head for them sort of, it's just getting the music right
For contest: I chose option 5: Titles "Requiem"
In a list
A contest entry
- Just another old fashion option contest by Beating.
1300 points, ended July 5, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POEMS AND LYRICS ONLY by crystallynnbradford.
365 points, ended September 18, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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this is very good....i can really hear the music to something like this....very very nice....I'm getting the beat to the flow and everything
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I really like this write. Especially the 2nd verse is just amazing and so poetic. I just love it.
One thing that seems to annoy me when reading though, is when it says "verse" and "chorus" and so on. I get that you do it, since it's a song, but it just annoyed my reading.
Other than that - an amazing piece! -
Amazing
Wow these lyrics are fantastic, turley worthy of the gold. Powerful yet simple. Well written!!
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Now, I don't know much about alternatice lyrics, but I can see why this won!
The verses were brilliant... and though I thought the chorus could use a bit of work, the piece was still really good. A chilling end...
- The stuff about loving in life as I do now in death... well frankly, that just smacks of necrophilia. Alright, that's exaggeration... but even without the sense that it isn't true, it doesn't quite fit. I'm not sure I'm explaining myself correctly here.
- The line "This is my last breath" didn't really have the same vocabulary as the rest of the psong... you could play around with the effect that the repetition of 'final' would have.
Nicely done overall though!
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Thank you for commenting
Admittedly, I'm not too good when it comes to choruses because I'm not one for repetition. I do like the verses, I always like to rhyme and feel that these lyrics were not particularly forced or the likes
I'm actually quite shocked to read that you took the whole "love you in life the same as in death" thing to be necrophillia! Maybe I'm just biased as I'm the author lol but I feel the whole love in life and death thing fits perfectly, because the person's lover killed themself and she still loves him, and she loves him just as much as she always did when he was alive..
I understand kinda what you mean about "this is my last breath" but I couldn't find anything that would rhyme with death that fit the lyrics as good as that did lol.
Anyway, thank you very much for your kind comments and great critiques. I take everything everyone says about my poems into mind and although I'm not one to edit my lyrics/poems after I consider them "finished", I take it all into consideration for the next write
Thank you once more!
x
x
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I didn't really think it was necrophilia...
It just feels that it's the wrong way round: as if they didn't actually love them in life, but now that they're dead they realise their loss, and their feelings exaggerate themselves.
I'm skirting on the edge of saying that they love them more because it will make them look - screw it, the word I'm after is 'emo'. The 'emo' stereotype is the idea that I get from this. I feel that's not what you wanted, but it's how it comes across to me. -
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Ooft! Emo..that's harsh! lol. But oh well Thanks for your comments
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Wulfareika! Cool. I love seeing who was who now that I've judged. Congrats!!!
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Thank you so much!! My friend XxBloodlustxX was in this comp, and last night she was like "you entered the same comp as me, you'll win!" and I was like "haha shut up not I wont!" but omg I'm like, shocked!
and to read what you wrote about knowing who you'd award gold to the minute you ready..well..what can I say, I'm so happy Thank you so much!
xx
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Ah, I adore this. It is so beautiful. I can't explain it. Thanks for entering!
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Hi Jess! Very intriguing lyrics - I got an Evanescense sort of feel from it. Best of luck to you in the contest!
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Thank you very much my dear
Yes, I had one or two Evanescene songs running through my head at the time, mainly "Lithium", for some reason...but still, hehe.
This new comment system is very confusing..I miss being able to applaud comments, lol. Silly star system...hmmm. Oh well, thank you once again for your kind comment
xx
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heehee :)
My sister making up lyrics for MY band jkjk OUR band hee hee They are amazing Just need to show me how the friggery to sing them on Thursday. Beautiful lyrics Jessums glad to see am not the only one making lyrics now :
ILY
XxStephyxX
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