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The Fall of the Roman Empire

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In those times of intrigue and of chaos,

When moods were dark as a rising nimbus,

Discontent whispered in the pronaos

Would surely wake the fury of great Orcus.

 

The stench of treachery, like rotting cabbage.

Ambitions masked as if by domino

And for the emperor's whim, Rome held as hostage,

Augustus had declared it shall be so.

 

Many would feel the edge of surgeon's scissors,

Oft doubt would be the shroud that wrapped the corpse,

And faithful servants lost their estovers,

While judges heard so many lies and warps.

 

Many tombs were drapped with pink hydrangea,

And widow's weeping eyes knew no mascara,

While brother treated brother like a stranger,

Others left by ships birthed at Carrara.

 

No humming birds hovered near the fuchsia,

And time moved at the pace of slith'ring helix,

On the pyre of time slowly burned the dogma,

From the ashes no rising of the Phoenix.

 

For Rome had reached the apex of plethora,

And many lived a life of subterfuge,

Now shadowed was Apollo's glowing aura,

The  accusations poured as wild deluge.

 

For none would listen to the words of wisdom,

But the emperor still spoke with nonchalance,

And Rome would fall in ruins as did Sodom,

Perhaps the gods had given their response.

 

 

Author notes

a domino mask was originally worn in ancient roman theaters by actors and by boxers of that time.
The women of Rome used saffron as mascara and put gold dust in their hair.
scissors were used in surgery in roman times.

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Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • aGent Lemon
    March 20, 2007

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    Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.


    You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got.


  • ZorroTheFox silver member
    January 2, 2007

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    this was a great poem. too bad I missed it before the end of the contest, but I see it did well. keep up the great work.


  • Lady in Love
    December 18, 2006

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    Best of luck to you in this contest. Content and historical notes made this poem great. I read a lot about the Roman culture and one can almost picture being there with your words here. Great job.


  • Star Shine
    December 17, 2006

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    Remarkable

    Your way with rhyme is something to envy, and this piece is complex but the story shines through. Very interesting, and vivid images. Best of luck.


  • Broken Thorne
    December 17, 2006

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    Great

    This is well written. I have always been a big fan of Roman history. The picture is great. I think that this would be well enjoyed by anyone with a respect for history.


  • esroddo silver member
    December 17, 2006

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    outstanding write I was speechless

    You words left me speechless I admire your talent Bravo Your applauds well earned (Lisa)
    "No humming birds hovered near the fuchsia,
    And time moved at the pace of slith'ring helix,
    On the pyre of time slowly burned the dogma,
    From the ashes no rising of the Phoenix.
    For Rome had reached the apex of plethora,
    And many lived a life of subterfuge,
    Now shadowed was Apollo's glowing aura,
    The accusations poured as wild deluge."


  • Blazing White Wolf
    December 17, 2006

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    hello di, well as always your knowledgte of history shows quite well in your poetry very well done with great diction, flow, and imagery
    Love andd Light,
    Blazee


  • dustookie2
    December 17, 2006

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    I found this to be a most enjoyable read.Scissors were used by barbers were know as surgerons and still the humble hairdresser is the Joan of Arc with brown fingernails, the friend, the holder of many secrets...you would be surprised just what is said at times. So much has been said by the looks of things I just say thank you for the pleasure of a wonderful read and very well crafted poem.brilliant.


  • Turtledove
    December 17, 2006

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    Outstanding

    Great pic to set the mood; (not needed though as your poem could stand alone); you used some pretty difficult words, I find myself reaching for the Webster's mentally! But I take my old farmer's/poets straw hat off to you! And lower it in gallant acknowledgement of your superior talent. Di, you are truly one of the greats, that I have ever met; ever; whether in University to learn from, or in my private world! One of the saddest lines for me was:"and widow's weeping eyes knew no mascara,". Tks also for your author's notes and explanations, it helped clear up some of the word definition problems I was having. Wonderful writing, my dear. Walt.


  • ImmaculateDesire
    December 16, 2006
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    I think you have a winner here. This is historically correct. I am awed by your talent. It is really epic.Thanks for sharing it with me. You are so talented, and I am sure you will do well. Take care.Have a happy holiday season. Merry Christmas early.


  • quietly burning
    December 16, 2006
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    these writes of yours are nothing less than amazing


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    December 16, 2006

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    fantastic

    I love to read your historic pieces. They are so filled with descriptive language creating wonderful imagery and telling amazing, yet factual tales. Another enjoyable read. Very well done.
    Rory


  • Cannonsfire
    December 16, 2006

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    I love a waltz through history and this is divine. Such imagery abounding and it flowed so well. I always find I learn something from your pieces.


  • poetryality silver member
    December 16, 2006

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    This is amazing. You are the master of rhyme. I love poetry that reveals history. You author's comments are informational to me, and quite interesting; as I studied ancient theatre in school. The reason the stage direction are as they are is because of Roman Theatre. I have yet to look at the contest requirements but it seems that there may be a word-bank. If not, your language usage is indeed stellar, and you must have researched Roman history with a fine tooth comb.

    Brilliant!

    I wish you the best in this challenge. As for poetic devices, metaphors, and original scheme...it's all here.


    Much Love & Many Blessings ♥

    Renee


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    December 15, 2006

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    Wow

    Incredibly written, my favorite. You touch on truth of that history. I am taken aback...such wise writing.


  • Deliverance
    December 14, 2006

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    Purest Genius

    A cunningly woven web of words. Beautifully written as ever. Once more you have proven yourself a premier leaguer of high prose. Very interesting meter, I have not viewed the contest so I don't know if it was a requirement. Shall I compare thee to a Bardic sonnet? Thou art more talented! Hugs, Chris x

  • mimiagatha
    December 13, 2006
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    quite an impressive feat, playing with those hard words and attaching such depth of meaning in a poem. the title attracted me to start with (the roman empire raise and fall is a weakness I carry, historically speaking), and your performance under the constraints is great.


  • Rubicar
    December 13, 2006
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    Powerful

    I only think that you wrote it with a strong message
    definitely, each stanza has it own invetable form
    The rhyming is wonderful, thou a bit force.I like its best for the unique tale with a mere touch of ancient history.


  • Elfin
    December 12, 2006

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    APPLAUSE

    Well Di,I was so confused by this poem that I went back to the roots so to speak. What made Di write a poem like this? Now I know and my goodness what a challenge. You did a tremendous job with such a difficult challenge, ( I have got to give this a go, can't see me entering the contest though)Good luck in the contest. Val

  • Mistereddie33
    December 12, 2006
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    Great

    It had me on the strings till the end, nice use of words and i love the way you placed and put it all together and the historic depiction is very well done as the beautiful comparisons.

    Well done mate, keep up the brilliant penning.


  • Michael Schiewer
    December 12, 2006

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    Good write

    I realy like this piece alot. It has good form and a smoothe flow, all while delivering an intense message. Keep the pen in hand. -M!KE-


  • nocturalis
    December 11, 2006

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    Very interesting, no wonder the last words keep sounding so big, as that was the challenge. I love ancient Rome.


  • suseann
    December 11, 2006
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    Well said facts

    Of course the magic of your well versed rhyme is impecable as has come to be expected and appreciated for what it is,talent lives in the tip of your quill.Wonderful piece.Do a stinky one occasionally.So I can say we are sisters of the parchment.Ha! Don't ya dare! Just kidding.~~Suseann


  • pixxiepoetess
    December 11, 2006

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    You have proved your penning prowess with this piece. Your rhymes work wonderfully with the historical story you have given us. Thanks for entering and best of luck! --->pixxie<---


  • cutiepie gold member
    December 11, 2006

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    Excellent

    Had to come for my history fix You have such a wonderful talent for bringing alive these moments in our past history. What can I say...very enjoyable


  • Fire N Ice
    December 11, 2006

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    This was a tough challenge that you met with a mighty write lol,
    you make it look so easy, really enjoyed this.


  • AerinAlanna
    December 11, 2006

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    Very nice! The rhyming is excellent and the story is perfect. I love the comparison of Rome with Sodom.

    ~Amanda


  • frae
    December 11, 2006

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    i like the historical references, and how well they tie into the rhyme scheme.

    thanks for entering, and best of fishes in the contest


  • crystaldust gold member
    December 11, 2006

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    crystaldust 11-12-06 16:56
    Amazing what ingenuity can do with a list of words! Well done, my friend, because it all hangs together very well and is amusing to read. (Look at an IM) mlj


  • Abdul T Alishtari
    December 11, 2006

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    Wonderful

    Dear

    I thank you for doing this poem on this subject which I love. Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari


  • shewalksintomine gold member
    December 11, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I like most how you compared Rome to Sodom of Sodom and Gomorrah (in)fame/y. This is also probably the most accurate of historical pieces submitted for this contest. Wonderful pen.

    Please don't respond to comments made by frae, pixxiepoetess or myself until the end of the competition. Thanks much for entering and best of luck.

    K

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