the air became heavy:
the helium had long ago
evaporated
from the atmosphere,
replaced by
radon cycle -
i inhaled.
there was residue
in my lungs
& it circulated through
my blood stream,
creating air bubbles.
i choked; every breath,
binging
& i felt the need
to diet,
to replace oxygen
with anorexia
compensating for the air's
obesity.
Author notes
This piece is my favourite because it was just one of those 2am inspirations... it was haunting me as I tried to sleep. Lots of times I try to force it out, this one just came - actually, it forced its way out of me, lol. I've always found that my favourite pieces are the ones that forced themselves out of me. As for what makes this one in particular my favourite (that has won a gold): this one has really grown on me - at first I didn't like it - and then I began to love it, lol. There's just something about this piece that really sticks with me and always calls out to me. I guess that's why it's my fave?
A contest entry
- For my Friends #1 by Tangled Angle.
420 points, ended December 12, 2006, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Mine by Cherokee.
600 points, ended March 15, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is very cool. Just be sure to write why it's your favorite in the author's comments.
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Just did that, thank you.
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WOW!
you have never ceased to amaze me with your cunning intellect.
this piece is amazing, in the fact that you have conveyed so much insight, in so few words. incumbants such as my self usually need fifty lines or so, to sum up what you have done, in less than that.
someday i may take a trip to Quebec, to see what exactly it is that they put in your drinking water...wow.
excellent job
rich -
-Faints-
My dear one of these days I am truly going to pass out
from reading your brilliance.
Each word, every line....as always.......PERFECTION!
I think may not know any other way to pen except with
utter beauty and perfection beyond the expression
of words.
All I can say is WOW.....just WOW!
I, like Dad, am honored to have you in my life.
And know I too am extremely proud of you hunny!
Love
Mom
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In the summer, I jotted down the line "the air became heavy" - I think it may have been an option in a title contest or something, I don't remember if I came up with it or someone else - but I wasn't able to complete the piece until a couple nights ago. I like it when that happens - to finally be able to finish a piece started months ago.
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I loved this! Right on!
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radon is high in polyunsaturated fats. You'll never get abs that way
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Impressed once again
two a.m.... first thing in the morning... in the heat of the afternoon... you always weave a masterpiece of some insightful message within the words you scribe. Christina, I am so proud of the person you are and truly honored to be graced by you in my life, I love you, hun
Love,
Dad
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excellent
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thank you, Muddy
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i can see that and i like how you did this i think it paint the perfect message, you did again keep it flowing
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there's just too many things going on in my head I know that feeling
I hate it when I get lost in my own complex world of thoughts 
You actually might have managed to describe how I feel lately - stupid winter and holiday season
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Hm. I'm not sure how to take this. It is clearly a statement about eating disorders, but I'm having a slightly difficult time knowing which way the poem goes on the issue - positive or negative. There isn't much of a rhythm, which certainly works with this style and subject. It is most definitely an interesting poem that caught my eye. Nice work.
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