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Barefoot



 

 



Barefoot


in tender sands


of liquid gold moments


your touch was in the ocean spray.


Each grainy treasure slid between my toes


until sand gave way to barbed rocks.


Bleeding our memories,


I walked away


barefoot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Mezclita
    August 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing... a full story with so many emotions in so few words + w/in the constraints of a ricta. & ultimately only enhancing the piece as a whole


  • Desire gold member
    August 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Ooooooooooooh!!


    Me Love this one
    Wonderful images to spark the Muse to come out and play, dip toes in the water and bury them in the golden sands
    Beautiful border to compliment~


    Love the~
    your touch was the ocean spray...
    and bleeding our memories...
    Oy!

    Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Many blessings to You!
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    August 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this has to be by far my favourite so far, I love the way this one makes me feel, my feelings are woven into this write I feel, well done, welcome to the finalists

    Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the best of luck

    Karen


  • Endeavor gold member
    December 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Just reading again


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    December 22, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful stuff

    You are a great writer. Great imagery, again, here. Beautiful and short. Keep writing. You have got talent.


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    December 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Knowing Night
    I tasted sad heart with both feet this night,
    buried in light sand, tides do what they do
    to reveal poetic you...
    even the sun must know night is night.


  • Endeavor gold member
    December 11, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    One of your best, and breif

    Love the shape

    Love it all

    This was the best part


    Barefoot


    in tender sands


    of liquid gold moments


    your touch was in the ocean spray.


    Each grainy treasure slid between my toes


    until sand gave way to barbed rocks.


    Bleeding our memories,


    I walked away


    barefoot.





    Rick


  • michellemybelle gold member
    December 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    What a great analogy. I could imagine walking on the beach, feeling love's gentle touch and then its loss. You are an amazing writer, I was excited to see you had posted something new, a great way to start my day.
    Michelle


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    December 11, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    i enjoy reading your talented words.
    this piece is very lovely,
    very nicely done.

    i walked away

    barefoot

    i really like that, the ending was great.
    good job as always.

    joyce

1 - 9 of 9