I walk the dusty road alone,
As daylight starts to fade
To an empty house that once was home,
Wondering now just why I've stayed
Opening doors on silent dreams
That never would evolve
Pacing rooms with discontent
Over cause of lost resolve
All memory of brighter days
Has dimmed to gray and blue
As I stand at the door,
Looking up at the stars,
And silently scream at the moon.
~ greg ~
Author notes
How I felt one night before leaving an old place
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I really like the feel of your last line. . .very nice
strange how emotions can live in a place like that...
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Thanks,
Yes, living there felt strange towards the end. It felt good to finally leave.
Greg
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i really like this. like it kinda fit things with me right now. im about to move and thats kinda how i feel about my towna nd my life at the moment. i love this great job as always
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Thanks Jess,
I wrote this just before leaving a place that gave me unpleasant memories. The thoughts just seemed to flow out at the time.
Funny how sad memories can inspire writing, huh?
Glad you liked it and good luck with your move.
Sometimes moving away can help afterwards.
~Greg~
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This poem struck a chord within me. I moved from my childhood home when I was 13, and since then have had occasion to pass by it. Each time, I'm left with a feeling of discomfort at seeing my old home infested with intruders who have changed everything. I don't know that I'd want to stand inside of it as it is now, though I still dream about it, oddly enough. Your poetry always has excellent rhythm and flow, and I haven't been disappointed this time, either! Excellent work!
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Thanks Carrie,
It's funny you should say that cause a friend of mine now lives in a house I lived in for five years a while back. Sometimes going to see her feels like going home or stepping back in time cause I'll often get memories from back then, you know? It's kinda weird yet pretty cool at the same time.
The house in the poem is a different one, obviously. he he
Glad you liked it.
~Greg~
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loved it... and sometimes feel the sameway when i visit the places i've come and gone from... one of the many,lol
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Thanks M,
These were thoughts I had before leaving a place I'd shared with with a girlfriend, who had already left.
What can I say, misery loves poetry. I guess.
~Greg~
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I will have to say that the beginning of this piece capture my attention right away...but then as I kept on reading it I lost interest...but then I wanted to read it again but in a new way..each line has an image and then it started to make sense...cause at first I was just reading it without imagining it which is the number one mistake anyone can make...I could see it all, I saw the flow, I saw the emotion, I even saw you screaming silently at the moon...and by the way that is my favorite line in this piece....you did an excellent job!!!
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Thanks!
I know what you mean. It often takes me a couple of readings of something to really catch the meaning of it.
This was written during a disconcerted time, so I can see where it might be hard to follow at first.
Thanks for it reading again to see my thoughts through.
~Greg~
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I really liked this one, it has a wonderful flow to it and the lines three and four in particular,well done
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The imagery is good enough here to evoke memories and feelings of my own. It has a nice flow to it also.
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Very precise emotions conveyed in this piece! Simple structure and imagery allows the reader to paint the picture of this scene personally. Great work!
~Lori
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You use your words well and concisely bring your point home. You may think about rewording your last line to make it stronger so we can feel your scream.
~*Starr*~ xxx -
WE all have our screaming moments in life, the human relief valve, you penned this very nicley. Our resolve changes as we grow older and become more wiser, the things I found important in my 20'S dont seem to be as much now in my 40s we grow, we become more wise with age and see things in a different light, evolution of dreams... they do evolve based on our own personal needs, if we want to do something then we do it, pataince is closely linked to personal evolution, tools earned and found along the way are part of that, I enjoyed this piece very much, It makes me think and look at myself and where i have been and where i am right now. thanks so much
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