only nature could mock us with her lashes.
only mothers could conspire
like their ohwe’reinfinitelyangelic daughter’s
and if the sun would swim for a moment
we might learn
what it means
to be dishonestly lost
only the salmon-trap netting could
hiss our secrets through the glass
-
-
and only short skirts and sallow thighs
could buy us a name or two
bluebird pioneers wrote about
fickle kisses from native slaves.
we treasure peacock feathers
pinned through glue-gaping shutters
as glitter falls you struggle to swallow,
and lace strobe lights with threadbare
denim - - they sang i don’t believe in
fairies, died
as hearts and minds and stars
collide
Author notes
okay yeah.
crap crap.
it doesn't feel finished to me.
blah. rip it to pieces.
Comments
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i hate when that happens.
you feel incomplete almost when you feel its not finished but then again if nothing comes to mind then i guess in a way it is finished? blah i dont makse sense lol
there were some pretty golden lines here:
"only nature could mock us with her lashes."
&
"as glitter falls you struggle to swallow,
and lace strobe lights with threadbare
denim"
♥
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Fades out at the end? EH, WHAT HOW?
It's the best bit in my opinion. I was like la la la rule of three excellent enjabment, HOLY COW!
muhaha, That's a cow that is blessed with holy spirit. Not a cow with more holes than neccessary. It is a good write. And an amazing start to your new identity.
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You write very well. I enjoyed this.
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"we might learn
what it means
to be dishonestly lost"... yes... perfect...
you are so amazing, and this poem is haunting... it's really empty... in a goodway, makes you feel lost somewhat.
"they sang i don’t believe in
fairies, died
as hearts and minds and stars
collide" - nice use of your new name there... i love the ending, it works bewtiful and this rhymthm is great, - hearts and minds and stars collide... the rule of three... hah... goodwork.
i adore this poem my darling.
you are amazing...
bewtiful
speshal
perfect.
i love yoo always and forever... x
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