She burried a thoughtful whisper
deeper then I can see
she hid it from existance
that determines our well being
Only now I have to dig
with struggling hands in the ground
to understand what she thinks
to hear that thoughtful sound
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is absolutely beautiful. Short and hypnotic...And the title...it's brilliant!!!! I'm definitely adding you as a favorite. This poem shows just how hard and difficult it can be when a person ((or woman)) locks away a thought or feeling...it's magnificent!!!
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hmmm... So I'm almost at 600 points so I figured I'll comment on one I haven't commented before on yours. This is nice and simple and short, if you want, I have some ideas for fixing the rhyme scheme and maybe even possibly adding more on to it. Do you think we will ever be able to go over my Chicken Soup story yet? and are you going to comment on Augusta? I need to babysit today starting at 9:00 I have to be there (in the morning that is) you can call, but I cant promise I can talk. Actually, I probably wont be able to talk... If you want though, you could call me just to let me know what's going on with things. well right now I feel like a terrible friend because I'm using friends just so I have a place to stay over the weekend. I hate it actually... And Saturday, I don't know what I'm going to do on Saturday. It seems that none of my friends are going to be around. I would say that maybe we could have a date then, but I don't know. Just let me know what's going on, ok? thanks!
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